Poetry / This Is What I am Sure Of

I probably don’t agree with a lot of the truths that you start stating somewhere around the half of your poem until the end.
But then again I was sure about some of MY truths, until they turned out to be false :(
So I prefer the first half, where you talk about your family, things close to you and yourself – those things you know, but does anyone actually knows and fully understands the world around us? unlikely.
And stating truth after truth sounds very robotic, maybe if you explain them, for example: “My two kids are why I try” + “they make me forgive and smile”
The best line is the one with your wife.

This made me chuckle and go back and read it again, which means it doesn’t (as far as I’m concerned) suck. Which is great. I’ve now read 4 poems without reviewing them, because I don’t like to spend time on stuff that is just bad.

The statements in this piece are interesting, raw and delivered with fearless truth. That’s great. What it’s missing, though, is any kind of element to draw the bits together, whether thematic, metric or lyrical. I want to see each of these statements as items on a shelf or beads on a string; but the poem is missing the string or the shelf.

That’s it. Some neat writing, but I like poetry that behaves a bit more like poetry. As a simple list, however, this is quite good.