Thank you for your critic
However I’d like to respond to some of what u said.
Changing emotion to emotional would change the entire meaning of the line which is not an option.
As for the commas they are not in place to later line rhythm,which is made up by the stresses of syllables. The commas are they to create emphasising pauses in timing, without them the poem can be read much more rapidly, thou still with the same rhythm and the whole idea was to give it a slow flow and give emphasis to each half line as each half line makes a point.
As for the line “It ties the gifts, That send a message unsaid”
I believe this line has no flaw to it,its is the poems reference to gifts given for no reason by lovers. Tieing is linked to the idea of ribbon bow on a present which again offers a backwards link to the previous line.
Your points are valid but you seemed to have ignored the fact poetry can take leave of normal grammar to achieve effects and seem to have read it differently to what is intended,therefore flawing the use of commas.
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