Poetry / super cuts sonnet

the brown locks occasionally ruled with
silver, sift down my draped black curtain to
the lip and settle in to the blond tufts
of the previous patron as the self-

proclaimed motorcycle man jibes the black
woman who buzzes his buzz cut while he
playfully threatens to stiff her on the
$9 cut—the scissors snip so close

to my ear, I feel the chink of the metal,
glance at my reflection and at the bulky
chest behind me and back to the floor, not
wanting her to feel my eyes on hers

the motorcycle laughs out of the lot
and screams down 6 wearing a red dew rag

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Reviews

July 27, 2007

Arkaidy

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
120	83.3% (54 votes)	22.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
23	F	Wilmington, NC	July 11

Arkaidy reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is an interesting, every day observation piece. I like the reference to the motorcylist the best. The flow is a little choppy but it kind of works, like you’re in this everyday situation and these thoughts cross your mind but aren’t all consuming. It would be interesting if you went that route – gave this piece more of a distorted, mind rambling feel. It doesn’t wow me as is, but it works.