Haiku/Senryu / Evil Empire

Microsoft hi-coup
bill is high when programming
software packs for Gates

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blackrosemage avatar General Stranger

June 22, 2007

blackrosemage

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(3 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
blackrosemage reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Overall, great job. This is unique and adds a small laugh in the end. Laughing is good for the soul. : ) Only problem I see is the second sentence is kind of worded weird and throws off on flow in my opinion. But all in all, it is awesome.

squarehopper avatar General Friend

June 22, 2007

squarehopper Prolific-icon-medium

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
squarehopper reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Very clever first line… so clever I was expecting similar for the last line.

Second line is just not there for me.  It seems a little blah.  I am sorry if this is coming off a little pompous, but I feel as though there could be much more said in this line.  Maybe with the same type of cleverness included?

If I may be so bold as to present an possible idea: Others swallowed bit by byte  -this is very rough and really not even a good try but it does show what I mean.

I think your third line should have a similiar humorous cleverness.

I think you have a potential gem here.  But it is quite not there yet.

EdWoodV2 avatar General Stranger

June 23, 2007

EdWoodV2

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
EdWoodV2 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I have to say that was quite interesting, and one does have to wonder if he isn’t high when he is coming up with the new software. How else can it be explained all the bugs that usually come with it? I really did like this work, and I can see that you have a good deal of talent.

meadorma avatar General Stranger

June 26, 2007

meadorma

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
meadorma reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is wonderful – I especially like the “hi-coup” LOL – very nicely done.

MARCH avatar General Stranger

June 22, 2007

MARCH

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
MARCH reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

lol, I like it. The title had me thinking of something completly diffrent. I thought it was funny.

orphandeity avatar General Stranger

June 30, 2007

orphandeity

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
orphandeity reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I didn’t care for this at all.  I did find it kind of funny though, so I guess you succeeded in that.  After reading this several times I still don’t know exactly what it’s about… seems vague.  I did like how you played with the name- is Bill high or is the bill high?

vukcic avatar General Stranger

July 01, 2007

vukcic

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
vukcic reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

To be honest I’m not really feeling it. I disagree with your medium. I don’t think a hiaku is the best way to talk about this kind of subject matter. People read this and go, ”...ok.” and move on. There’s too much to speak about to pack into three little lines. I think you ought to write a poem (perhaps in hip-hop style?) or an essay to convey your feelings.

Protagoras avatar General Stranger

June 24, 2007

Protagoras

REVIEW QUALITY: 33.3333%(3 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
Protagoras reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Is the bill supposed to be a Bill, or is this a pun. I’m not very impressed, but the “hi-coup” is amusing. Why not a “high coup” though? Not sure.

jenniferb29 avatar General Stranger

June 22, 2007

jenniferb29

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
jenniferb29 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This has a ring of truth to it.

Loba avatar General Stranger

June 22, 2007

Loba

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
Loba reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This did make me slime.
You succeed in writing a Haiku with form/substance/mood.

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onlywish avatar

onlywish

Age: 38
Loc: United States
Gen: F
Last Login: November 18
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