Short Story / I Thought

I Thought
I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one. I thought we’d be together forever. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I knew. I thought I knew what I was feeling, but whatever it was must’ve been a lie.
Never did I realize how alone I was until I felt the cold, black chair begin to numb my naked butt and back. The numbness awoke me from my utopian state and brought me back to my brutal reality. Here I am sitting on this cold, black chair alone, in this damp grey hospital gown about to get an abortion. No mom, no dad, just me and my insecurities, all alone and no one knows. No one but me and him.
He was the guy of my dreams. He was an enigma to me and my life. He was something special and I believed everything his blue eyes told me. He made me feel special. He made me feel warm inside, like I was this queen and everything was going to work out. He gave me hope, but now that hope is dead.
I’m only sixteen I can’t take care of this baby, I just can’t. I couldn’t even take care of my pet angelfish, Sparky, god rest her soul. How am I going to be able to take care of a growing child for the rest of my life?
If only her father wanted to keep her then maybe she could have a life. A life full of all the dreams a little child dreams of. A life where boys have cooties. A life where she’ll always be daddy’s little girl. A life full of hope and love, a life that I sometimes wished I had.
He’s got all the money a child could use and all the power to get her where she needs to be. So that one day she’ll be more than another nameless face. Be more than another statistic. Be more than me.
He’s what this city of unfulfilled promises and forgotten dreams thrives on. He’s the golden child. He’s the face that launched a thousand ships. He’s the face for a promising tomorrow. The face that will be hers, and was once mine.
I thought I was in love. I though he was the one. I thought…..but I was never that smart. I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one…………
But now I lay here crying a lake of tears. All because of the choice I chose to make. A split second decision because he said he loved me and I believed him. I looked him dead in his icy blue eyes and saw nothing but lust and desire. Yet I still believed the ocean of lies he so poetically recited to me. Now I’m the only one with the blood of my unborn child stained across my chest.
No one else will ever know. No one but him, me, and our unborn baby girl I so affectionately call Hope.

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