Screenplay / My ex-husband Michelle

FADE IN:

INT. COLLEGE LECTURE HALL—DAY

Laura’s husband, behavioral psychology professor DR. PETER WINSTON, 76 addresses his class.

While he talks students pass around syllabi with his information at the top of the page, “DR. PETER WINSTON, BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGY 272”

DR. PETER WINSTON
By a show of hands how many people think that gender and sexuality are innate, that it’s something you’re born with and have no control over?

Just about everyone’s hand in the room goes up including that of eighteen-year-old ANDY RICHARD GREENE AKA Mannie.

Dr. Winston nods his head while looking around the room.

DR. PETER WINSTON
(mumbles to himself)
Um hmm, Um hmm

Irritated the professor motions for everyone to lower their hands.

DR. PETER WINSTON
Come on people this is a behavioral psychology class!  Nothing is innate; everything is learned.  Isn’t that the basic tenet of behavioral psychology?  And if everything is learned, including gender and sexuality, what does that imply?

Dr. Winston looks to the class but no one raises their hand.

DR. PETER WINSTON
Come on all you brainwashed liberal thinkers of the twenty-first century.

He waits again for a response.  Irritated he gives his clueless class the answer.

DR. PETER WINSTON
If behavior is learned that means it can be unlearned.  Gender and sexuality are learned behaviors that can be controlled…

Some of the students shake their head in disagreement.  Dr. Winston notices the dissent.

DR. PETER WINSTON
I see some heads shaking out there.  Is what I’m proposing something that you disagree with?

The majority of the students nod their heads.

ANDY
(yells)
Yes!

DR. PETER WINSTON
I can understand why you all would find such
(air quotes)
Radical concepts, so hard to believe given world  the world we live in today that’s why I have the scientific proof to back me up.  During the course of our semester together we’re going to learn about the experiments  of psychologist David Barlow who successfully reidentified the gender role of a
(air quotes)
Transsexual, and also my own experiments which replicated this finding.  Whether or not you want to believe it people you were not born masculine or feminine, gay or lesbian.  Those are all learned behaviors.

INT. GARAGE—DAY

SUPER: “Two weeks earlier…”

Garage is neat and clean.  Wood working tools and equipment is neatly organized in shelving and on counters and tables.  In the center of the garage is a pick-up truck and a mother and son loading it with boxes and packages.  

The mother LIZ AKA Elizabeth Greene is forty-six with style that cries out for a make-over.  Her lifeless shoulder length graying hair screams for styling and color.  Her no frills wardrobe can only be described as bor-ing!  

Her son Andy is in his typical outfit of jeans and a t-shirt.

Liz hands the last box up to Andy.  He places it in the truck bed and then jumps out.

ANDY
Well that’s it.

Out of nowhere Liz’s busts into loud sobbing.

Temporarily shocked Andy just stares at his mom.  Then  his senses kick in.

ANDY
Mom?

LIZ
I’m sorry Andy.

Liz makes an effort to stop herself by sucking in her sobs but fails.  She wails louder.  

ANDY
Are you okay?

She waves it off as though nothing is wrong.

LIZ
(between sobs)
I’m okay.

Liz snorts.

ANDY
Geez mom.  

Andy looks around for something to offer his mom so she can blow her nose.  He spots some paper towel.  He tears a sheet off and holds it out to his mom.

ANDY
Here

Liz looks up and takes the paper.

LIZ
Thanks

She loudly blows her nose.  Once she’s regained her composure she looks over to her only son and smiles weakly.

LIZ
You’re all grown up.  Moving on.

ANDY
It’s only thirty minutes away.  It’s not that big a deal.

LIZ
It is.  It absolutely is.  I know that this past year and a half has been real shit for you and I apologize for that.  I’m really, really sorry.  

ANDY
It’s okay.

LIZ
(shakes her head)
It’s not.

ANDY
Mom it’s over.  It’s whatever.

LIZ
(cringes)
It’s not whatever!  Is that the only word you have in your vocabulary to describe your emotions?  It’s not ~whatever that he isn’t here.

LIZ
You’re going to college for Christ sakes.   You’re father should be here to see you off.

Andy doesn’t reply.

LIZ
Well don’t you agree?

Andy shrugs.  

ANDY
I just wish…

LIZ
Wish?

ANDY
(reluctantly)
That you would cut him a break.

LIZ
(eyes wide)
Cut him a break?!  Do you know the bind he left us in?  No child support, no college tuition, no…

ANDY
What do you need his money for?  You’re rich.

LIZ
I am not rich.  I work hard and don’t you ever confuse the two.

ANDY
God mom I know how hard you work but dad isn’t out there shooting the breeze.  Things aren’t easy for him either.

Liz’s eyes grow wide.

LIZ
Andy Richard Greene have you been talking to your father?  Do you know where he is?

Andy doesn’t answer.

LIZ
I swear boy if you know where that man is you better tell me…

All of a sudden Liz flushes red.  

LIZ
...So help you.  
(fans herself)
It’s so hot all of a sudden.

Sweat suddenly beads up over her forehead and brow.  It runs down her face.

ANDY
Are you okay?

Andy lifts his shirt up and moves to wipe Liz’s brow with it.  

LIZ
(steps back)
Don’t you do it.

He pulls off another paper towel and holds it out to his mom.  Just as Liz is about to take the towel he snatches it out of her reach.

ANDY
(dangling the towel)
If I tell you where dad is will you promise to listen to what he has to say?

LIZ
Give it to me Mannie.

ANDY
Promise first.

Liz lunges for the towel.

ANDY
Woah Nellie!

Playfully Andy sidesteps her.

Liz loses her footing and falls to the floor.

ANDY
Mom!

Concerned Andy drops to his mom’s side to help her up.  

Liz cuts him a dirty look then snatches the paper towel from Andy’s hand.  Without bothering to get up she wipes the sweat from her face.  Andy sits on the floor next to her.

ANDY
I’m sorry mom.

LIZ
Just tell me where he is.

EXT. CITY STREET—DAY

An avenue full of shops and businesses.

Liz cruises slowly down the avenue.  She double checks the address on the paper.

LIZ
Eight twenty eight.  That’s it.

A car pulls out.  She drives into the space.  She looks across the street and notices for the first time the name on the window.  ”OASIS RETREAT DAY SPA”  

LIZ
Day spa?  

Liz gets out her truck and crosses the street.  She looks through the tinted windows of the spa.

LIZ
Why would he…

Liz hesitates and then enters.

INT. OASIS RETREAT DAY SPA, LOBBY—DAY

Liz approaches the receptionist behind the counter.  MINNIE  is a pretty heavyset woman of twenty-eight.  She wears her hair cut short like a boy.  She welcomes Liz as soon as she comes through the door.

MINNIE
Glad you decided to come in.  Have you ever visited us before?

LIZ
No I…

MINNIE
Well just so you know up to fifty percent of all our proceeds benefits Oasis House, a shelter for battered and abused women.  What were you interested in having done today?

LIZ
Nothing I just…

MINNIE
But I just told you that fifty percent of our proceeds benefits battered and abused women.  Don’t you want to help them?

LIZ
Look Miss I don’t really do this type of thing…

Liz continues to talk but Minnie doesn’t hear her.  Her attention in on the BEAUTIFUL WOMAN that has just walked through the door.

The tall slender woman glides towards Minnie in slow motion. Her youthful thirty-nine-year-old face is beautiful without make-up but for some reason she’s piled too much of it on anyway.  Her hair moves as though some invisible wind machine blows through it.  She’s glamorous in her expensive looking sunglasses, designer looking outfit with matching pink pumps.

Suddenly the fantasy is over.  The woman is right in front of Minnie.  Before the woman can talk Liz’s voice filters back in.

LIZ
I’m just here trying to find my deadbeat husband.

MINNIE
Huh?

Minnie realizes Liz is still talking to her.

MINNIE
Excuse me could you hold on a sec.
(to beautiful woman)
Hey girl.

Minnie steps from behind the counter.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Hey gorgeous.

She and the beautiful woman embrace.

Liz looks as though she can’t believe how rudely she’s been brushed off.

MINNIE
I thought I wasn’t going to see you today.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Minnie I know I’m late but I just need a quick sec to gather my bearings.  

Just as Liz is getting ready to voice her discontentment it catches in her throat. There’s something vaguely familiar about the woman’s face.  Now it’s her turn to stare.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I couldn’t find my car keys and then…

Liz no longer hears the woman’s voice.

In slow motion the beautiful woman removes her sunglasses and then blinks revealing a distinctive mole on her eyelid.

Liz’s eyes grow wide.

The beautiful woman finally notices Liz.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Liz!  Omigod What are you doing here?

LIZ
(eyes wide)
My…

Before Liz can get the word out the beautiful woman grabs Liz.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Let’s catch up outside shall we?

She pushes her towards the front door.

EXT. OASIS RETREAT DAY SPA—MOMENTS LATER

The beautiful exits the spa pulling Liz behind her.  As soon as they’re outside the beautiful woman’s tone changes from friendly to terrified.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
How did you find me?

Ignoring her Liz pokes the woman’s breasts.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
(knocks Liz’s hand away)
Hey

LIZ
Are those real?

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Yes

Liz touches the woman’s face and then feels her neck.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
(moving Liz’s hand)
Stop it.

LIZ
What have you done?

The woman notices ANGELA, 24, her four o’clock appointment walking towards her.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I’ll tell you anything you want to know just not here, not now.

LIZ
Oh no, no, no we need to talk right now.

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I can’t talk now I’m working.

LIZ
I don’t give a rat’s ass…

Suddenly the woman covers Liz’s mouth.

ANGELA
(to the beautiful woman)
Hi Shelly.

SHELLY
Hey Angela.

Angela eyes Liz who’s struggling to remove Shelly’s hand and talk to her.

SHELLY
Family drama.  

With her free hand Liz opens the door for Angela.

SHELLY
I’ll be right in.

Angela looks at Liz as if to ask, Is everything all right?

SHELLY
It’s nothing.

Angela enters the spa.

Shelly lets the door go.

Liz bites Shelly’s fingers.  Shelly YELPS and removes her hand from Liz’s mouth.

LIZ
Shelly Michael?  Shelly?  Do they think you’re a real a woman?

SHELLY
Will you shush.  Please?

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