Lyrics / play love again

well congradulations ma-am
you’re gonna be married soon
and good luck to you sir
you’re gonna be the groom

It’s an off rhymn but works pretty good ,
your getting there

Lookingbeyond

hi there,

very good, i like a tonugue and cheek lyric once in awhile, well written,i enjoy the line, sorry sir you’ll have to find another, your lady loves your brother!!...:) of course, right?...lol..i feel as if it’s me at a blackjack table.(and losing as usual)so i’m sure others will relate/i don’t think as a poem but a good catchy song with the song pattern you chose..talked to much ,sorry…:)later,jim

great lyrics. keep it simple stupid—that’s kiss’s philosophy on lyric writing and it seems to work well. i think maybe your criteria should be spread out. i mean like make different revisions to be viewed  by different people. make one for publishers, make one for poetry or lyrics. anyway, liked it, loved it, felt it. keep it up—there’s something there.

I think it’s good. But I sorta had mixed vibes about it. The first stanza (chorus) had a pretty cool flow.But the last two stanzas seemed a little off in my head. I think it was pretty good though.