Action Adventure / Native Son (Subject to Change)
Chapter 1.
It was a crisp morning, chilly, but not quite as cold as it will be in a few months. It was September, and winter had a way of coming early in Nebraska.
It wasn’t quite sunup yet, as a tall lanky young man walked out of the house towards the corral.
Henry Doran, or “Hank” as he was known, was in a hurry this morning. As he walked, he looked up several times at the early morning sky. With a quick look to the east, he saw the eastern horizon beginning to lighten, and walked faster.
As he hurried to the corral, he scooped up an empty water bucket on the way, and threw a few rocks in it. As he reached the corral, Hank grabbed a bridle from the fence posts and quickly slipped between the rails, he began walking slowly towards a lone horse; shaking the bucket.
With a slight hesitation, the horse came walking up to the Hank and his bucket. As the horse got close, Hank quickly set the bucket on the ground, and slipped the bridle on the horse.
“Gotcha Pete! I knew you would fall for the “O’ Bucket” trick”. Hank said. “Sorry I don’t have any oats; I am in a hurry and didn’t have time to chase you around”. Hank told Pete as he led him out of the corral. Hank tied Pete to the fence post and began to put on his saddle and other gear.
Today was a very important day for Hank, he had a long ride ahead of him, and he wanted to cover the forty miles to Sioux City, Iowa by mid afternoon.
“Hank, you come on in here and eat some breakfast before you try to head out now” Aunt Mary yelled from the house.
Hank had been staying with his Aunt Mary Franklin for the past two days. With Hank’s family still in Wichita, Kansas, Mary gladly gave Hank a place to stay.
Hank loved visiting his Aunt Mary; she was his mother’s sister and always treated him like her own son. Hank knew his Aunt liked having him around, she had lost her husband in WWI, and their only child died years ago with pneumonia; his Aunt was always alone.
“Yes ma-am, I am coming.”
Hank quickly finished getting his gear together.
“Alright Pete, I am going to eat quickly and were be on the road in no time.”
Hank quickly tied Pete to the fence post and hurried back to the house.
As Hank entered the house, the smell of Aunt Mary’s cooking made his stomach growl. Until then, Hank didn’t really think he was hungry.
“Make sure you wash up now, Hank”. Aunt Mary told him from the kitchen.
“Yes ma-am”. Hank quickly washed his hands in the washbasin set by the door, and seated himself at the table.
Turning from the stove with both hands full, Mary motioned with her head towards a lone metal pail sitting by the door. “When you finish, take that lunch pail over there, I packed a lunch for you”.
“Yes ma-am” Hank replied as he looked over at the metal pail.
Mary placed a full plate of biscuits and gravy, and a hot cup of coffee in front of Hank and sat down.
Bowing her head, Mary began to pray.
“Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this beautiful morning and this food we are about to partake. Bless our family, our people, and most of all bless our son Hank as he makes his journey to the city today. Provide him with the strength and wisdom on his decision to join the Navy. Watch over him, and keep him safe so that he may return to us unharmed. In our Lord Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”
“Amen”
“Eat up Hank, it maybe a long time before you get a home cooked meal”.
“Yes ma-am and thank you for giving me a place to stay and feeding me like this” Hank said as he began stuffing his biscuits in to his mouth.
“Well Hank your family, I love you as if you were my own son and I will always be here for you”. Mary said as she began to drink her coffee.
Hank paused long enough to say, “Thank you Auntie, I love you too”.
Placing her coffee down, Mary looked at Hank and after a few seconds spoke. “Now Hank, before you leave, I want to ask you one thing”.
“Sure”. Hank said as he stopped eating and looked at his Aunt.
“What’s your mother think of you joining the Navy, I know she must be worried sick” Mary asked.
Putting down his fork, Hank wiped his mouth and began to answer, “Well she was real mad that’s for sure, she thinks that I should go to college”. Hank took a drink of his coffee. “She thinks I might get hurt in the military, and that I should set an example for Bill, and Margie”.
“Well that sounds like my sister, education is a big part of her life and what she told you makes a lot of sense, maybe you should take a few days and think about, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.” Mary stated.
“Thank you Aunt Mary, but I made up my mind; I want to see the world before I get too old. Besides I plan on going to college when I get out”.
Mary placed her hand on Hanks, and gave it a slight squeeze, “Well son I won’t bother you about it again, I just wanted to be sure you thought about what you’re doing. Enjoy your breakfast”.
With that, Mary returned to her coffee, and Hank continued eating.
When Hank finished, Mary refilled his cup, and took his empty plate to the sink and began washing the dishes.
Hank sat at the table for a few minutes more, finishing his second cup of coffee. Finally, Hank stood up, “Well I better get going, I have a long ride ahead of me”.
Mary turned to Hank, wiped her hands on a towel, and walked over and gave him a big hug. “Take care of yourself Hank, were all proud of you, and we’ll miss you”.
As Hank returned his Aunts hug, he felt a feeling of sadness. He knew he would miss her, as he already missed his mother.
“I’d better get going before I change my mind” Hank said as he pulled back.
“Now there would be nothing wrong with that, Hank” Mary replied as he held one for a second longer.
“I know” Hank said. “But the Navy awaits; I must go”. With that, Hank kissed his Aunt on the cheek and turned to leave.
“Remember Hank, walk with God, and he will keep you safe” Mary told him as he was walking out the door.
“I will, and take of your self Auntie” Hank said as he paused at the door. With those words Hank left the house.
Mary walked to the doorway and watched as Hank crossed to the corral, checked his saddle, and mounted Pete.
As Hank began to ride away, he turned to his Aunt at the doorway and gave her a final wave goodbye.
Mary returned his wave and watched him ride away for a few minutes. A sudden memory of her late husband going off to war flashed in her mind. She knew the fears her sister was feeling.
“May our heavenly father protect you my son”, she whispered.
Returning back into the house, she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. Pulling a telegram from her apron pocket, Mary began to write a letter.
Dearest Sister,
Hank has left this morning for Sioux City, and the Navy. I am truly sorry that I wasn’t able to change his mind. I too worry about him and want the best for him. I fear our Hank has grown up and is on his own path to manhood.
We must have faith Martha, faith in his decisions, and faith in God as he guides him. I will pray for him everyday.
I love you dear sister, and I miss you.
Your loving sister,
Mary.
Mary re-read the letter, satisfied, she placed in her apron. Later today, she will send the letter to her sister.
Riding way from his Aunt’s home, Hank began to think about his mother. Their last day together didn’t end the way he would have liked, his mother was upset.
Hank replayed that morning in his mind for the hundredth time. He knew he couldn’t win an argument with his mother, so he waited until the morning he planned on leaving to tell her.
They had just finished eating breakfast, and Hank’s younger brother William and little sister Martha had just left for school.
“Mom, Dad, I have good news”, Hank said as he took a quick drink of his coffee, “I am joining the Navy.”
Hank’s mother was in the kitchen cleaning up the breakfast dishes when Hank broke the news.
Martha turned around and stared at her son, after a few seconds she spoke, “now Hank, the Navy may be a fine choice for some men, but I want more for you; you are going to college”. Martha said as she walked over to the kitchen table to sit down.
“Mother, we can’t afford college, I have no job, no prospects, and I don’t want to be a burden to you and Dad any more”. Hank replied with his well practiced response.
“Hank you have never been a burden, you’re our son, we love you, and you can stay here as long as you want”. Martha countered. “Besides son, men die in the Navy, and I don’t want you to get hurt”.
“It’s 1939 mother, the wars over. In the Navy I will get the opportunity to see places I only dreamt of, nothing will happen to me, besides it’s a job.” Hank said as he looked to his father for support.
So far, his father just sat drinking his coffee, quite content on letting the two work it out themselves.
Seeing Frank wasn’t intervening in their debate, Martha continued, “Hank, once you finish college, you will find a good job, one that doesn’t require you to risk your life, or travel half way around the world”. Martha reached across the table and touched Hanks hand, “you’ll see son, things will workout for the best”, she stated matter- of-factly and got up to return to the breakfast dishes, ending the debate.
“Have you thought this thru son?” Frank asked as he put down his cup of coffee.
Looking to his father, Hank answered, “Yes sir, I have.”
Martha froze in her tracks, she turned and looked at her husband suspiciously, Frank continued, “well Hank, the way I see it, you’re a man now, if the Navy is what you want to do, you’ll do it.”
Frank returned to drinking his coffee. Martha continued to stare at her husband for a few seconds, trying to digest what he had just told their son. She was visibly mad at her husband’s comments, quickly regaining her composure; she walked back towards Hank and sat besides him.
As Martha took Hank’s hands in her own, almost pleadingly, she spoke, “son, you’re my oldest child and you have a responsibility to set the example for your brother and sister. Joining the Navy isn’t the example I want you to set. Think about it for a few days, and were talk about it again”.
Gaining all the strength he could muster, Hank looked into his mother’s eyes, gently squeezed her hands, he replied “Mother I have made up my mind.” Hank released his mother’s hands, stood up and kissed her forehead. “I plan on hitching up to Macy, maybe stopping at Aunt Mary’s for a night, and then head to Sioux City and join”.
Sadly, Martha realized she couldn’t stop him, she stood and kissed her son, “Well Hank, I guess you must do what you feel is right, but I don’t have to agree with it, know that I love you and I will miss you son”. Martha gave him a hug, gently cupped his face in her hands, and kissed her son goodbye. Too hurt to say anything else, Martha walked back into the kitchen; tears welling up in her eyes.
Hank started to go to his mother, but his father placed his hand on his sons arm. “Your mother needs to be alone for awhile son, she’ll be fine in a few days”.
“I am sorry I hurt her dad, I just…..” Hank couldn’t continue; tears were starting to make their way to the surface.
“I know son”, Frank said as he stood and gave his son a hug.
“You better get going if you’re ever going to go, son” Frank said as he released his son.
“Thank you dad”, Hank replied as he made his way to the door and left.
Taking a deep breath, Hank tried to shake the memory from his mind. Thinking about his mother, and their goodbye, started to bring tears to his eyes.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, Hank urged Pete into a canter. The sooner he reached Sioux City, the better.
As Hank headed north to Sioux City, he decided to ride thru Macy, to see if any of his friends were around.
Macy is a small reservation town with only a few homes here and there. Most people living on the outskirts, or in the surrounding countryside. Most days you could find some people around exchanging gossip, news or getting supplies. Macy did have two stores, a gas station, and a post office, out side of that the only other structures were three small churches, and a small tribal headquarters building. The local school was a mission school, located about five miles further north.
Heading in to town, Hank could see right away that no one was around. Stopping on Main Street, Hank took a long look around town. He would be gone awhile and he wanted to remember every detail.
Satisfied, Hank headed back out of town, and on to Sioux City.
Hank was barley a mile out of town when a car pulled up besides him.
“Good morning”, the driver said as the car slowed.
Stopping on the roadside, Hank lowered himself to see who was driving the car.
“Good morning, Ma-am”, Hank replied, as he recognized Mrs. Cleave from he mission school.
Stopping her car in the middle of the road, Mrs. Cleave leaned over to the passenger side and looked up at Hank with a big smile on her face.
“Well it’s been a long time Hank, where you headed this morning?”
“To the city ma-am”, Hank answered.
“It’s a nice enough day for it, but that’s a long ride. I’ll tell you what, I ‘am heading that way if you are interested in joining me?” She asked.
Hank sat there for a few seconds debating. He sure liked the idea of riding his horse in to the City, but the car had its advantages; it was faster and far more comfortable.
“If you really don’t mind, ma-am, I’ll be glad to ride with you”, replied Hank.
“Good, I could sure use the company”,
Hank jumped off Pete, and began to take off the bridle.
“Now Hank I can follow you to where you need to go to take your horse, I don’t want him to wonder away or anything”.
“That’s ok Mrs. Cleave, Pete knows his way home better than I do, he’ll be fine”.
Hank continued to remove the bridle, quickly tied it to the saddle horn and grabbed his small bundle off the back of the saddle.
With a quick, “go home boy”, Hank let Pete go. Watching Pete for a few seconds as he cantered back the way they came, Hank was satisfied he was headed home and turned back to the car. Opening the passenger door, he thru his lunch pail in the back seat and got in.
Hank knew Mrs. Cleave from when he was a student at the missionary school. She looked still the same as she did back then. A heavy set woman, not really fat, Mrs. Cleave always had a certain way about her, an air of authority. Although she looked tough on the outside, she was one of the nicest women Hank knew.
As they headed back north on Hwy 77, Mrs. Cleave turned to Hank, “So, tell me what’s going on in the City?”
“I ‘am headed to the Navy Recruiting Station, ma-am”, Hank proudly answered.
“Well good for you Hank, I am really glad to hear your going to do something with your life”, she replied.
“Yes ma-am”, Hank replied, not hiding his smile. Hank felt a sense of pride at that moment and he was pleased that Mrs. Cleave understood his decision.
“So how are your parents doing, in Kansas right?”
“Yes ma-am, in Kansas, and their doing fine”,
“I bet your mother was very proud of you joining the Navy”
“Yes ma-am, she is”, Hank lied as he turned his head to the window to avoid eye contact with Mrs. Cleave.
Seeing the look on Hank’s face, Mrs. Cleave knew his mother didn’t approve. Years of dealing with children at the school had taught Mrs. Cleave how to read their faces; she knew Hank well enough to know when he had lied. Rather than push the subject, Mrs. Cleave decided give Hank some time to his thoughts, and continued to drive in silence for a while.
As they rode for a few miles, Mrs. Cleave decided enough time had passed in silence, and began idle conversations about the weather and the other nonchalant topics. Talking about things other than his decision, Hank began to enjoy the ride with Mrs. Cleave.
Talking and laughing with Mrs. Cleave made the ride go by quickly. Before Hank realized it, they had reached the City limits of Sioux City.
“Do you know where you need to go?” Mrs. Cleave asked Hank as the entered the south side of the City.
“No, I don’t ma-am”, Hank answered, “I was planning on starting down town and asking directions”, he continued.
“Well that sound like a good place to start to me too”, Mrs. Cleave agreed.
Fortunately, Sioux City wasn’t that big, and making their way downtown didn’t take much time. When they reached Pierce Street, Mrs. Cleave decided to park so she could ask directions.
“Mrs. Cleave, I really appreciate the ride, but I don’t want to be a burden, I know you have other errands to run and I am sure I can find my way from here”, Hank said as he started to gather up his pack.
“Nonsense Hank, it is my pleasure to help you”. She told Hank.
“Now I will be just a few minutes”, with that, Mrs. Cleave got out of the car.
As Hank watched, Mrs. Cleave approached a woman walking on the sidewalk and began talking. As the woman started pointing, and making jesters with her hands, Hank figured she knew where the recruiting station was. Sure enough, Mrs. Cleave returned with the directions in a few minutes.
“Well Hank it turns out that the recruiting station is only a few blocks away, I can have you there in a few minutes”, Mrs. Cleave said as she started up the car and prepared to drive away.
“Thank you again, ma-am”, Hank said.
True to the directions Mrs. Cleave received, the Navy recruiting station was only four blocks away. In a matter of minutes they sat in front of a small brick building that read, “US NAVY RECRUITING STATION”.“
Mrs. Cleave stopped on the street in front of the building and turned to Hank, “there’s no parking spaces close Hank, I am afraid I will have to let you off here”.
“This is fine, ma-am, you have done more than enough for me, thank you”, Hank
Said as he grabbed his pack and started to exit the car.
“You tank care of yourself Hank, and don’t forget to write to let us know how your doing”, Mrs. Cleave said.
“I will, and thanks again ma-am”.
Hank quickly ran around the car to get off the street. As he reached the sidewalk, he looked back to Mrs. Cleave and waved. Returning his wave Mrs. Cleave smiled and drove off.
Turning to the building, Hank paused to read the sign again, “US NAVY RECRUITING STATION”.
“Finally I am here”, Hank whispered to himself. Taking a deep breath to help settle that excited and scared feeling in his stomach, Hank stepped forward, opened the door, and walked in.
The recruiting station, turned out to be a one-room office. The office was sparsely furnished, consisting mostly of a small wooden desk, three chairs, a typewriter, a phone, and a file cabinet.
Sitting behind the desk was a dark haired man wearing a Navy uniform, smoking a cigarette and reading the newspaper. When Hank entered the office, the man in uniform didn’t bother to look away from his paper or acknowledge him in anyway. Hank stood there for a few minutes in silence, staring at the back page of the newspaper.
Finally, the recruiter lowered the newspaper, looked up and down Hank, flicked his ash, and asked, “What can I do for you Chief?”
“I came to join the Navy, Sir”, Hank quickly replied.
“Sorry Chief we met our quota, were not accepting any new recruits”, the recruiter stated matter-of-factly. “Try the Marines down the street”, he continued as he returned to reading his newspaper.
Hank stood there for a few seconds in silence, staring at the back of that newspaper. It took a few seconds to digest what he had just heard. Finally, Hank turned around and walked out the door.
Standing out on the sidewalk, Hank was stunned. He had hitchhiked all the way from Kansas to join the Navy, and he was rejected in two seconds. As he continued to stand there on the sidewalk, staring at nothing, a sudden thought popped in his head; The US Marines.
Without wasting another second, Hank looked up and down the street, found what he was looking for and began walking quickly towards it. After a few minutes, he stopped and again took a deep breath, and entered the door below the sign that read “US MARINES”.
This time as Hank walked the door, he was immediately greeted by a man in Uniform.
“Welcome to the Marines Chief, you looking to join?” asked a stout looking Marine.
“Yes, Sir!” Hank replied.
“Well you came to the right place, have a seat and we’ll get you signed up”, he told Hank.
Smiling, Hank walked over and seated himself next to the recruiter’s desk.
“What’s your name Chief”?
“Henry Doran, Sir”
“Ok Doran, I am Sergeant Wright” he said extending his had to Hank. Shaking his hand, Hank remained quiet.
“The Marines are always looking for a few good men, and the process of joining is simple we’ll complete some paperwork and get you moving” Sgt. Wright told Hank as he pulled a packet of papers from his desk.
The process of joining the Marines turned out to be easy, Sgt. Wright asked various questions, checked a few boxes on the forms, and all Hank had to do was sign a few papers. When Hank completed signing all the necessary documents, he found that he was still not a Marine; yet.
“OK Chief, we have one more thing to do, and then we will swear you in as a Marine”, the recruiter told Hank as he stood, “Follow me, and we’ll get your physical done”.
Walking out the front door of the office, the recruiter led Hank next door, which turned out to be a small doctor’s office.
“Since we are over sixty miles from the nearest military post, the US Marines have contracted with Doctor Wallace to perform all our in processing physicals. Dr. Wallace is an ex-Marine who served WWI, so you’ll be in good hands.” The recruiter reassured Hank as they entered the doctor’s office.
“Yes, Sir”, Hank replied, as he followed the recruiter in to the office.
“Take a seat Chief, I’ll let them know that we’re here”, the recruiter told Hank as he continued towards a woman seated behind a desk.
As Hank sat there, he started to picture himself wearing the uniform of the Marines. A smile started to creep across his face just thinking about it.
“Hey Chief, I said lets go he’s ready, quit day dreaming and lets get this thing done”, the recruiter hollered.
“Yes, Sir”, Hank replied, embarrassed that he was day dreaming, and didn’t hear the recruiter call him the first time, he jumped up from his chair..
Standing at a door way was a man in a white coat holding the folder of papers Hank and the recruiter just competed earlier. “This way son”, the doctor said holding open a doorway on the other side of the room.
Hank walked thru the open door, and found himself in a small examination room. “OK Mr. Doran, strip down to your skivvies and step on the scale”, the doctor told Hank.
Hank quickly undressed, and stepped on the scale. The doctor adjusted the slide on the scale several times to ensure he got an accurate reading.
“Ok Mr. Doran step off the scale and get dressed, I’ll be right back”, the doctor told Hank as he exited the room.
As Hank was getting dressed, the doctor re-entered the room with the recruiter. “Ok Mr. Doran as soon as you’re dressed, I want you to step back on the scale”, the doctor told Hank.
Dressed, Hank again stepped on the scale. This time the recruiter was watching intently as the doctor adjusted the scale. As the doctor began to record the second reading, he told Hank, “Ok step down son, and have a seat”.
When Hank was seated, the doctor again spoke, “well Mr. Doran, I am afraid that you fail to meet the minimum standards of the Marines”.
“How is that, sir?” Hank asked.
“Well you’re just too skinny, you need to come back when you gain some weight” the doctor replied.
“Sorry Chief, looks like your not going to be a Marine today”, the recruiter told Hank, “your free to go”, the recruiter exited the room, and left.
The doctor stood and opened the door for Hank, without a word, Hank left the doctor’s office.
Walking out of the doctor’s office, Hank wasn’t as hurt as he had been earlier in the day. Facing disappoint a second time today, hurt, just not as bad as it did earlier. Hank exited the office and stood back on the sidewalk once again.
Not sure where to go, Hank took a deep breath, and looked around, it was getting late in the day. Looking up and down the street, Hank decided to head south towards the river. He hadn’t eaten since this morning, and he still had his lunch aunt Mary packed.
“Sitting by the river is a good place to eat, and think about what to do next”, Hank whispered to himself.
As he walked down the street with his lunch pail, Hank was reading the various office signs and advertisements on the building. As he reached the end of the block, he stopped, and stared at one sign.
Sitting at the end of the same block as the Marine Recruiting Station, was a sign that read, “US Army”. Feeling somewhat unsure of himself, Hank slowly walked by the office without stopping. He glanced into the window as he passed, and saw a lone soldier sitting at a desk, writing.
Hank continued down the street and around the corner. Stopping for a few seconds, Hank took a deep breath and turned around.
Without pausing, Hank walked right up to the office that had the sign “US ARMY” and walked in.
Entering the US Army Recruiting office, Hank saw the lone soldier still sitting at the desk. Immediately noticing Hank, he stopped his writing, and looked up at him, “Good afternoon, how may I help you”.
“I want to join the Army, Sir”, Hank replied standing just inside the door.
“Good, come on in and have a seat, Chief, we’ll talk about it”, the soldier told Hank as he walked around his desk and extended his hand.
“My name is Staff Sergeant Adams, what’s your name Chief”, Sgt. Adams asked shaking Hank’s hand.
“Henry Doran, sir, but everyone calls me Hank”
“Good to meet you, Hank, he grab a seat”, Sgt. Adams pulled out a chair by the desk and motioned for Hank to sit. With Hank seated, Sgt. Adams returned to his seat behind the desk.
“Ok Hank, why do you want to join the Army”, Sgt. Adams asked as he lit a cigarette.
“I always wanted to join the military, sir, I want to help defend our country should that need arise”, Hank replied.
Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Sgt. Adams stared at Hank for a few seconds, taking a measure of him. “Ok Hank lets get this paperwork started”, Sgt. Adams said.
Feeling like a pro at the paperwork, Sgt. Adams and Hank completed the process quickly, and with ease.
“Ok Hank, now all we have to do is complete a physical”, Sgt. Adams told Hank as he gathered up the paper work and placed them into a folder.
Suddenly feeling uneasy, Hank lowered his head for a second, then looking back at Sgt. Adams, he spoke, “Sgt. Adams, I have to be honest with you”, Hank started, “I just came from the Marines, and I failed their physical”.
Sgt. Adams, lit another cigarette, and asked Hank, “How’d you fail, Chief?”
“They said I was too skinny, Sgt.”, Hank answered.
Sgt. Adams chuckled, and took a drag of his cigarette, “I’ll tell you what Hank, you look thin, but I doubt your be too skinny for the Army, the physical is just routine as long as your not falling apart you’ll be fine”.
“Yes sir”, Hank said as he smiled, started feeling better about his chances of finally joining the military.
“Now that the paperwork is done, we have some options. We can send you home, and have you report at a later time for a physical, or we can send you with the next group of enlistees”, Sgt. Adams stated.
“I really don’t have any place to go Sgt., I said my good byes already”, Hank answered.
“Ok then, we have a train leaving for Fort Crook, which is south of Omaha, in the morning”, Sgt paused to take a drag of his cigarette, “I can put you on that train if your willing”.
“Yes, sir, I want leave as soon as possible”, Hank replied.
“Ok, now the next question”, Sgt. Adam asked, “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”
“No”, Hank replied.
Sitting back on his chair and taking another drag of his cigarette, Sgt. Adams thought for a while. “Alright Hank, you can sleep in the back room here tonight, and I will give you a ride to the train station tomorrow”, Sgt. Adam stated as he sat forward in his chair, putting out his cigarette.
“Thank you Sgt, Adams”, Hank said as he rose and extend his hand to Sgt. Adams.
“My pleasure, just be back here in a couple of hours before I close”, Sgt. Adams said as he shook Hank’s hand.
“I will”, Hank replied as he turned to leave the office.
Once back on the sidewalk, Hank didn’t worry about where he was going, or what he was going to do this time, he started walking south.
Joining the Army wasn’t in Hank’s plans at all this morning when he started out, but he was glad they accepted him. “I will work hard and become one of the best soldiers in the Army”, he thought to himself as he continued walking south.
After about a half hour of walking, Hank reached the Missouri river. As a child living on the Omaha Indian Reservation, Hank had always enjoyed playing and fishing in the Missouri river. The Missouri River ran thru the south side of Sioux City, and eventually passed thru the Omaha Indian Reservation, sitting there reminded him of home. For a day that started out with disappointments, Hank was now happy and sitting by the river was relaxing.
Sitting on the grass just above the river flow, Hank ate his lunch his Aunt Mary packed, and let his mind wonder. He wondered mostly about the Army, where he would be stationed, what the training was like, and most of all he wondered what his mother would think.
Visions of returning home in his uniform to smiles and hugs consumed his time at the river.
After a couple of hours, Hank Realized it was getting late and decided to head back to the recruiting station.
Without a watch, Hank walked at a quick pace to avoid being late. The walk seemed quicker this time, and as Hank approached the recruiting station, Sgt. Adams was standing out front waiting.
“Welcome back, Chief” Sgt. Adams said as Hank entered the office, “your timing is perfect, I am getting ready to leave for the night”
Hank smiled and nodded.
“Now the back room has a cot”, Sgt. Adams told Hank as he walked back into the office towards a door on the other side of the room. Sgt. Adams opened the door and continued to talk, “you’re not the first recruit to sleep here, this actually happens at least a couple times a month”.
Following Sgt. Adams into the storage room, Hank was surprised to find the storage area quite clean. Looking around Hank noticed that there was a small cot in the corner of the room, with a blanket and pillow sitting on it. Other than the cot, the room really didn’t have a lot of stuff, mostly old magazines, and one file cabinet.
“Ok, Hank I have to get home to the wife, she hates it when I am late for supper. Just lock the doors behind me and I’ll see you in the morning”, Sgt. Adams told Hank as he started for the door, pausing at the doorway Sgt. Adams looked to Hank once more and told him, “Now no funny business Hank, I ‘m trusting you to behave yourself while staying here. I wrote my home number on a piece of paper by the phone, any problems call me.”
“Yes, sir”, Hank replied.
Without another word, Sgt. Adams left Hank alone at the recruiting station. Hank quickly locked the door behind Sgt. Adams, looked around the office for a few minutes, turned out the light and headed to the back room.
Afraid to really touch anything, Hank started to get the bed ready, and laid down. Laying on the bed, Hank realized it was actually too early to sleep, so he sat up and looked for something to read.
Since it was a recruiting station, Hank didn’t have a problem finding something to read. Stored in the room were various brochures, magazines, and small books depicting the various units of the US Army.
Settling on the book, Hank lay on the bed, gathered up the pillow behind his head and began to read.
After a few hours of reading, Hank fell asleep; ending an emotional day.
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A nice story its nice to read about other peoples family who have served in WW2 it keeps history alive, keep up the good work and well done.
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This actually has quite a lot of potential. My grandfather was a marine in Guadacanal, and the rest of my family on my father’s side was deeply involved in the military. That said, I’ve really read into war, especially WWII. This succeeds so far as storytelling and writing, but I feel that it misses the human spark that has conquored our minds and hearts for so long.
a grammar issue, your tense keeps shifting between present and past. you can use either one for telling a story, but make sure to stay consistent. i have the same problem myself and my editors always yell at me.
you have both recruiters calling him chief and the first recruiter says chief way too many times. i believe you also had the doctor call him chief.
you did a good jb of describing the town, the ranch, and the recruiting offices and process it sounds like it was taken from your own life. the down side is, there is no story. there is no plot yet, except that he wanted to join the navy but wound up in the army. and there is no reason to read the next page because there is no story, no alure, no suspense.
i still dont know if this will be a romance, murder mystery, action…is there a war? i dont know what year it is.
you could open with an excitintg paragraph taken from later in the story. then the reader understands that the first chapters will tell how hank got to that point. yuo have to do something to introduce a conflict of some kind early on so we know what is coming and we will want to read on.
You did an OK job with your story in the way that you have written it. However, I did come across somethings that I figured you may want to take a look at. They are mainly grammatical and a few small spelling errors.
The first thing I found was while reading this, “Hank replied with his well practiced response.” You do not need it to be spread out like that. Well and practiced can be combined using a – in the middle. So maybe you should try it more or less like this, “Hank replied with his well-practiced response.”
The next thing I thought you may be interested in I found while reading this, “Afraid to really touch anything, Hank started to” You don’t need to add the word really it is more or less one of those filler words on placed to make the sentence longer. So take that out and it will still make sense. It will just look like this, “Afraid to touch anything, Hank started to”
Another thing I figured you would like to see I found while reading this, “he began walking slowly towards a lone horse; shaking the bucket.” You do not use the semi colon unless you are sepreating two entirely different sentences that just so happen to be related to eachother. Here however the semi colon is way out of place. Instead you need to use a comma. So try it like this, “he began walking slowly towards a lone horse, shaking the bucket.”
The next thing I figured you would want to see I found while reading this, “before you try to head out now” Aunt Mary yelled from the house.” You have no punctionation at the end of your quotation marks. You need some kind of punctuation. The only two ones that would work in this sentence is ethier a comma or an exclamation mark.
A) before you try to head out now,” Aunt Mary yelled from the house.
B) before you try to head out now!” Aunt Mary yelled from the house.
Besides that you did an OK job and all. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into your story. I hope I was able to help in some way shape and or form. Keep writing you have a good talent that will take you places if you let it you just need to polish it off a bit.
Your story would benefit from faster pacing. Shorten it up and avoid needles repetitions, especially in the beginning. Massively shorten or eliminate the whole breakfast scene as well as the conversation/argument with his mom. In fact it might be better to begin with Hank riding to Sioux City with the school teacher.
In other words you are putting in too much family history—interesting for you and your family but basically boring for everyone else. You might have mentioned Hank was Indian before you had all the recruiters calling him chief.
I’ll keep reading as you post more because eventually you’ll get to the good stuff—WWII. As a vet myself I wish you well.
You definetley worked hard on this, its a nice action story and I still want to know more about the story and the story clinged to me good work! “Hank stood there for a few seconds in silence, staring at the back of that newspaper” this line shows Hanks concern that is pretty good
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