Short Story / Life of Life

I think it has potential, but as it stands is just too brief – we need to know who the characters are, something about their background, who they’re discussing, and so on. Once you start working these things out, the place this has in the larger peice wll probably become more apparent. Good luck!

Not much to go on here yet. The language is a bit awkward and cliched: “indifference like never before,” “long drawn face as if he had lost his best friend,”stood closely nearby,” “or say anything,” “fight back the tears,” stood his ground wordless, and lost for his brother was in pain and therefore he was also.”
Maybe try to write more like you talk.

Pretty good cliff hangover of a beginning.  You used very good imagery to describe the pain he was feeling.  It leaves you wanting to know what’s going on.  Makes whatever is to come sound very interesting.  Pretty good, but what exactly is this section?  A part of a story?  The beginning?  A description or just an introduction? What is it meant to be?  Well, whatever part of your story I enjoyed it.