Poetry / Intrepid go we into time

Intrepid go we into time
With nary a wrinkle nor worry
Seeing no further than our tread
We take the next step without dread

No telling might happen
the invisible hand of fate be seen
Just before too late
next full instants loom
new uncountable futures bloom

Beyond where dust settles and shoes wear thin,
surfaces vaporize – bones decalcify
Beyond measure, and the sight of eyes
Where common infinitesibles live
Indeterminate lives
Where light is matter then matter light
beyond the speed of thought

Non assessable increments of now
smooth with exponential detail
Come and pass
And stability seems apparent
And that we are in charge
Oblivious masters of our universe
In our dimensions of constancy
Relative to infinity of distance
From sub-atomic growth and decay
Before we could know
The next moment is born
Of unpredictable cosmic quantum states
And for us
Any random conspiracy of circumstance awaits
as
history
is
stretched.

With no nevermind
Go we our sweet way
Of how we are effected
by vibrations of energy mass energy at play
Through waves across the universe
Our influence to the horizon of events
And no matter how determined
we think our lives to be
It’s only just we can’t know
the things that set us free

Precarious we exist
on prevailing sentiment
a positive universe
continues to expand

With time,
you never can tell

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Reviews

May 08, 2007

motherjungle

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
31	76.9% (13 votes)	18.9%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
46	F	Costa Rica	November 09

motherjungle reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Dear Brian,
There are a lot of things I liked about this. One line caught me: No telling might happen. At first I thought you missed a verb, but then I got what you were doing. But as the reader it missed it’s chance at a good one-two punch because the content around it was distorted. But that is a line that can stand on its own.

I think in the middle I got a little lost. Possibly it is too obscure. You’ve got a great topic you’re tackling and more concrete images might play quite well against the “Great and Might Cosmos.”

Now that stanza: With No Nevermind we go our sweet way…
love it! Maybe stop after play and start new stanza. The next line is a big shift it seems.

Good luck with it. What to do, what to do with poetry?! But I look forward to more.
motherjungle