Romance / Iris Harp Balad

This is really good, but I didnt see any direct romance… but I see where you’re going with this, or have gone. It’s beautifully written, and the image of the blue satin stained with red is haunting.

Very nice set up. I can’t see any errors. It hooks me. My eyes were tired and I still read it. Great job.

I want to find out what happened to make her murder; she even prayed to God, which it seems she’s a woman of conscience. You give a brief profile of her, harp player, lover of classics.

Even her sitting up with back straight implicates “straight lace” sort of character, which makes this scene alluring. It’s like opposites attract…How can a nice woman do a bad thing like that?

I think she went stone mad. Something put her at the brink of insanity to kill. What did that man do?

But the mystery is how does blood drip from her left hand when she threw the knife at her husband? It seems she was wounded and she’s bleeding. Did she cut herself afterwards? Interesting. I have so many questions that needs to be answered.

This sounds like a mystery. Though I want to know what happened, I’ll have to wait. Great job on descriptions. Hope everything is okay at home and we will wait till your next installment.

I’m sitting here in awe of what and why this woman killed her husband.  Did he hurt her and his death was her escape.  I can’t wait to read the second part

I happen to like it. I like the reference to the past, like comparing the phone key pad to a harp. I Loved the setting you have given. It seems to be elegant, for you have classical music playing. The discription is wonderful, from the colors, sounds, and the smells.

It’s certainly a dark entry, but it’s very easy to read.  There’s no confusion, no wondering why, it’s just detailing the aftermath of an event.  I am certainly curious to read more and delve deeper.  Well done.

This piece is intresting, at first the reader thinks the character is committing suicide and this though contines untill she admits her crime to the other end of the line.  

Why has she killed her husband? And why admit to it only calling 911 after he was dead? So many questiosn. So little answers.

I’d definetly like to read more.

Close to perfect.  I only see VERY nit picky things:

1.  Paragraph 1, sentence 2:  ”where she had thrown it in disgust”..should be, “where she threw it in disgust” (watch your tenses)

2.  Paragraph 2:  I would consider making the first sentence 2 sentences for emphasis:

“How fitting,” she murmurred.  ”The Point of No Return” from The Phantom of the Opera wafted from the living room, as if stressing her point.

REALLY anxious to see how this is used, what happens next, and if the REST of your writing is as good as this!  Thank you for sharing.

I don’t know who you are and thus haven’t read any of your other works, or anything that relates to this piece; however, from this moment you have captured in time it is filled with detail and captures a person’s attention. I want to know more about Martha and her bruised cheek and her dead husband. Therefore you have been successful in creating interest for a reader.

The downside? Well first of all my brother works for the police department and the 911 operator’s are not deputies, at least not in Ann Arbor, MI so I’d check to see if they are anywhere else. If not, you need to change that point.  Second, if she killed him with a knife and cut her hand, or arm, in the process and blood is dripping onto the book, I truly believe she would have more than “crimson stains dotted the … folds” maybe “crimson rivulets”?

Finally, I realize she is in shock, but she obviously has money/wealth/position judging from what you have described so it jars that she “gingerly sits” with “folded hands” while “a single tear slid” – this doesn’t sound authenic. Unconsciously wouldn’t she be looking to grab something to wrap her wound in? And just having a single tear – well, that smacks a little too much of the melodramatic to me. She should either be sobbing hysterically OR staring in frozen numbness at his body, at least that’s my view.  

However, please understand that I really did like this piece, I’m just picking because I want it to be excellent, not just good.