If you read it slowly, line by line, and think about what the colors can represent, you will see the meaning. Something very serious has occured and I’m sure you can find it. There is no hidden meaning or anything like that – read closely, you’ll see it.
Poetry / If They Called
if they called
those in white
in the white
if they told
of the red
the red in the lights
the red in the light
if they told
of the black
on the black
in the black
how the blue
didn’t find the blue
in the black
on the black
with the red in the light
and the red in the lights
said the white
in the white
would you come
show white
to the white
would you look
at the red
in the bed
on the head
would you look
on the past
or has it passed
is there black
over black
where the blue
oh so blue
was in our head
now on the bed
all red
if they called
those in white
in the night
if they told
of the red
not the green
of those who’d seen
if they told
of the screech
the breech
the street
how time
clear as glass
through the glass
didn’t pass
on the street
say those who’d seen
no green
in the black
when the call
on the line
the same one as
when all was fine
could you stand
on the floor
hold the door
what would you do
remember
on the slope
without a rope
pushing up
falling down
did you go
how did you know
all white
we didn’t fight
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wordwan reviewed Version 1 -
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Oh boy. This tickles. It’s close.
But I’m not getting the content; and I need content most.
Interesting…flavor though; though I am not sure what I am drinking. grin
You’re having fun though, yes? Then continue; never mind me. I’m just some stray review. Yes?
Thank you for your words.
wordwan
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March 10, 2007
Deleted User
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Um, what. This is interesting yet confusing at the same time. Sort of a mind buster.
BCreative reviewed Version 1 -
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I wasn’t quite sure what to think about this poem. I was confused at the end and the thought of “those in white in the night” made me think of the kkk
momsgirl2 reviewed Version 1 -
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There is a severe over usage of each line and color. It gets so bound up by the repetions that one can make no sense of just what the writer is trying to say.
DaniDani reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, I really liked this! I enjoyed the cryptic, almost manic feel to it, as if the narrator/creator of the poem was perhaps a forensic investigator and had seen all these different types of deaths and was now a little crazy about them. It seems to me that it was obviously refering to deaths, perhaps of different types like a suicide or murder in bed, a car accident, and perhaps even a hanging.
I think i felt most giddy when I discovered this line’s meaning -
where the blue
oh so blue
was in our head
now on the bed
all red
Which to me means the blood inside of the character once was blue inside them, and then when touching the oxygen outside when killed, turned red.
I really enjoyed it! Thank you
March 09, 2007
Deleted User
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wow thats interesting. though i didnt really understand all of it i still thought it was cool. i love the second to last line, though all it says is all white. but i alos love the first three paragraph things because all you said had something to do with colors and i liked how youd add new colors and blend it in nicely. i really liked how you added green in there. awsome.
Static reviewed Version 1 -
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Man that took one hell of an effort to read.. at first I couldn’t tell if you were actually being serious or just trying to out-do Dr. Suess.. However, some of the refferences and metaphores (although very short.. which is what you expect from a poem with 3 words to a line) seem way too thought out to be done just as a joke.
However, there were so many rhyming words – with so few non-rhyming words to water them down – spaced so extremely close together and words repeated so readily, that at times I completely lost track of what you were trying to say..
Although, I get the feeling that there is definatel meaning to be discovered in this poem. I’m just not able to put my finger on it myself..
xamountof_wordz reviewed Version 1 -
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At first, I thought this was a joke but further into the poem I understood better. It was very creative and I really thought that it was written very well. Also I think it had an important meaning to it.
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