Poetry / Different?

The idea of this is something I’ve yearned to have reaffirmed. Reading this piece, I get the an edge of bitter “here’s the rope, hang yourself” and it works really well! The first stanza has what seems to be an ABCB rhyme, and then the second stanza doesn’t have any. It’s jolting to expect rhyme and not get it. I wonder if this was on purpose?
Regardless, you get your point across very nicely and I love how you’re so bold in this piece. Great job!

I really like the first stanza, especially, “Work to be different / in just the right way.”  Nice line.  Why the break in rhyme after that stanza though?  Is it meant to be an artistic thing, such as breaking conformity?  I’m not sure about the last stanza.  I like the one before it.  I get what you’re trying to say, but it doesn’t quite fit with everything else.  I think it’s gonna be a good song once you finish it.  

I think you’ve captured the disaffection of youth and the unwillingness to conform to the “norm” quite well!  Even by not conforming, one is conforming. My friends and I had the same awakenings almost 20 years ago. The last line is the crux of it all. I’d not change a word!

I disagree with Unwinding. I mean this fits fine as a poem. But I do agree you should have examples of cliche’s and what not. And revise this a bit. Add a little more to it. This could be a lot better. But take your time with it, it looks like you are doing a good job so far with it.

A nice idea but perhaps a little too reliant on cliches itself. I’m reading your second line as an ironic suggestion which would, i think, work a lot better if your entire piece wasn’t littered with cliches. i think this would work better as a song, however?