Action Adventure / Up From the Depths Part 25

The closer he got the more he saw the fear on the kids faces. He stopped about five feet from the doorway.  The kids had to be lying on the stairs because their faces were right above the bottom doorsill. Willis squatted down, pulled off his sunglasses, letting them hang on the neck cord.

“Hi. You kids OK?” He asked gently.  He saw the girl look at the boy eyes big and then they both looked at him and nodded.

“Anyone else in there with you?” the girl looked again at the boy then finally spoke.

“There’s six of us.” Willis nodded as if he already knew that.

“Anyone sick or injured?” A negative nod from both.

“You guys want to get out of here, maybe get a warm meal, hot shower or something?”

“Oh my God yes!” the girl said then she stood upright and ran to him, Willis spread his arms as the girl collided with him, hugging him tightly.

“Someone came for us! I knew they would. I just knew they would.,” she said as she hugged Willis tightly, tears of joy and relief running down her cheeks.

“Melody, you’re going to strangle the poor guy.” the boy called out from the door.  Smith moved up alongside Willis and let his rifle hang.

“C’mon Melody lets move over here and we’ll get you checked out.” Smith extricated Melody from around Willis’s neck and moved over to a small stack of concrete blocks getting her to sit down while he visibly checked her for injuries.

Willis turned back to the boy.

“Can you take me to the rest?” he asked. The boy nodded, stood up, picking up an M16 that Willis hadn’t seen and slung the rifle over his shoulder before beckoning Willis below. Hannaberry stepped around from behind the door enclosure and took up a security position as Willis entered.  Going down the stairs, Willis let his eyes adjust to the darker interior. He looked around; the top floor was empty except for a small stack of pallets, a room that might have been the operator/engineer section and several old concrete foundations that machinery had been mounted to. In one corner was another heavy fire door that sealed the stairwell down to the next level.  Behind him he heard the Seahawk approach as it moved in to deposit Captain Brandon on the roof. The kid moved quiet, no shuffle or scrape of his footwear as he made his way to the little building.  Jimbo opened the door and Willis stepped inside. The residents of this building had done what they could to make it habitable.  Some foundation bricks supporting wood taken from the pallets made a table in one corner. A stack of canned food, presumably looted from a store or house was stacked on an old countertop next to a non-electric can opener. The people looked haggard, worn out, tired, like they hadn’t slept in weeks. There was a guy holding a M16 like he knew how to use it, staring at him. A woman, roughly the same age as the man, was standing next to him.  Another kid, short, scrawny was standing in the corner, an older girl with frightened eyes clinging to him.  Around the kids waist was a military belt and holstered sidearm.

“I’m Lieutenant Willis, we’re here to get you out.” He said looking at everyone.  An almost audible sigh of relief swept the room then everyone surged towards him shaking his hand, grabbing his arms or hugging him, tears of joy flowing freely.

“Gawd-damn” Hannaberry muttered softly from the doorway.  He had followed Willis down to secure the floor leaving Brandon and Smith on the roof. He called up to Smith to send down Brandon so she could check everyone out. Angelina set up a small clinic inside the room and started her check-ups after shooing everyone else outside. The SEALs talked and shared their rations with the small group while they related their story of how they got here.  An hour later Brandon finished her cursory exam of all the patients; packed up her medical kit and pulled Willis aside.

“They all could use a good meal, probably a vitamin booster. Borderline malnutrition but they’re in good shape considering how long it’s been. I don’t believe any permanent damage has been done to them physically, but there still exists some mental damage.” She indicated the girl who was clinging to Berg. “She doesn’t seem to speak, I tried everything, its almost like she’s going feral. I’ll need to run some more tests to be sure but I’d say she has some form of traumatic stress.  If its not treated soon, she could retreat into her mind and lose all grasp of reality.” Willis nodded as her assessment. The girl had come up to him, touched him and looked at him like he was a mirage before retreating back to cling to the younger boys arm. He radioed up to Hannaberry who was pulling security on the roof, checking status.

“Copy that Ell-tee.  The birds on its way back from refueling. ETA 5 minutes.” Hannaberry radioed down as he scanned the buildings, seeing the dark shape of the Seahawk growing bigger as it approached. Willis passed the information onto the group. He turned to Brandon.

“We’ll be heading back to the ship not the center. There’s a better equipped medical section there with more doctors than the center has.” He informed her, but his eyes told her the real reason was for her own safety.  If word got out that she had information implicating General Spears of committing atrocities, her life would be worth nothing.

General Spears stood proudly in the center of the operations room.  He had a smile on his face as he watched his technicians perform their job efficiently. Hands clasped behind his back, be strolled the room nodding as each of the assigned tasks were carried out without question.

Willis directed the loading of the Seahawk, making sure everyone had a seat and was buckled in before he boarded and closed the door. He walked forward and notified the pilot of the change of destination.  The pilot nodded as he moved the controls and headed in the direction of the fleet.

“Sir, the rescue bird is moving to the harbor.” Spears’ brow creased as he heard the news. Odd. The center was closer. The comm tech was waiting further instructions.

“Very well. Maintain monitoring and let me know any further changes.” Spears was about to elaborate when several alarms began going off followed by the deep heavy boom sound of blast doors closing.

Brandon and Hannaberry sat on the center troop bench, surreptitiously holding hands. The survivors were happy to be out of the factory and on their way to solid food and a warm shower. Jimbo looked between the two pilots and saw several gray ships in the harbor. He looked at his sister and smiled, they were going to be all right.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

Sort Reviews by  Newest |  Oldest |  Highest Quality |  Lowest Quality |  Newest Comments | 

 
oneshot92 avatar General Stranger

August 27, 2008

oneshot92 Prolific-icon-medium

personal info reviewer stats
oneshot92 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

“Copy that Ell-tee. – Just put LT, it’s much easier for the reader.

I think you have some really good work. You definately know your military, but you have to close the spacing, and tab.

SoulSide avatar General Stranger

February 13, 2007

SoulSide

personal info reviewer stats
SoulSide reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Well done so far. Your writing is clear and I understand what’s happening. I like your sparse usage of descriptors, but still would caution against some of the bigger ones like “surreptitiously”, which doesn’t seem to fit where you have it. Also, you’ve got kids faces where it should be kids’ at the top. Sorry to nit pick. But otherwise good.

Oh, one more thing. In your dialogue, your attributives are too much. don’t give me the blow by blow.  

“the girl looked again at the boy then finally spoke.

“A negative nod from both.”

Showing 1 - 2 of 2

Creator
jtthehunter avatar

jtthehunter

Age: 41
Loc: Olympia, WA
Gen: M
Last Login: December 02
Relevant Links
Item Stats

GENERAL

2 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago

REVIEW QUEUE

Appeared in Queue: 1 Time
Skipped: 0 Times
Large_criteria Ratings & Rankings
Tags

There are no tags for this item.