Poetry / Eat Them Words

It is a nice comment on how people perform foreplay in the manner of the upper classes in Ancient Roman times or when ever or where ever people have been inclined to play with grapes in that way. After all there can be great pleasure in sampling before the main meal. Nowdays people usually have grapes for, or in a dessert. Others take them out in picnic lunches at the beach or to consume in the park where they may indulge at their leisure.

I think the first success of this piece is the visual you create from the get-go. I’m a bit of a tease (who isn’t from time to time) so I personally can relate and do. So at that point you pulled me in. I think the lack of punctuation is great because your line-breaks do all the work…except here “won’t let them in
my mouth” Having read this a few times, I keep wanting the line-break to be after them. I like the changes from second to fourth stanza. I would change the and to my in “drags them across my ears and mind” The quotes are distracting though in the third stanza…I’m not sure why, but each time I read the piece, I get bogged down there although I love the words…not sure where to go though. I would love to read this after revisions if you decide to do so.

Heidi