thanks for that comment but you have not explained what you like about it. i will bear in mind your comment on the area.
Young Adult / Me, On Growing Up
Chapter One- Mi Familiar
I would like to formally introduce myself as the girl that is unlucky in love. You are probably thinking you’ve heard that all before; but when you’ve finished reading this, you will realize that your lives are real good, well… compared to mine, anyway.
Here my story starts… Oh, by the way, in case you didn’t know I’m Casey Adams of the Adams clan. My household contains two brothers, one older and one younger; they go by the names of Jonnie, who is turning 29 next month (he’s the older brother), and Corey who is 17 and always on heat. And not forgetting me – the middle child only missed out on being the baby of the family by what 8 years but who’s counting? I know I’m not.
To tell you more about me and how I came about (well, not so graphic but you get what I mean); I grew up in Croydon with both my parents and my knuckle head brothers who gave me nothing but trouble and headache. Ok, maybe not all the time; there were the odd occasions that they were quite fun to be around and made me proud to be associated with them, but those occasions were so few and far between because they preferred to tease and provoke me. Maybe it was because of the response I gave them. My mum was always telling me to ignore them and that they would get bored and stop. But I was never really any good at it, I used to always say they know how to get to me, and I was never really one to shy away from an argument or heated discussion, as I like to now call it.
Life with brothers, how do I describe how it was? I can say this much; there was never a dull moment. There was always a situation that would end in tears, be it happy or sad. See, my younger brother Corey was a bit accident prone, my older brother used to tease me saying that it was because I dropped him when he was a baby, and for a long while I believed it to a point where I would cry sometimes when he fall over and hurt himself, but as I got older I realized that he was just clumsy – no other word would describe him better.
Corey was the most hyperactive in the family in my opinion; he would just never keep still I seriously started believing that he had ants in his pants which did make him fun to be around. I spent most of my time laughing at his playful antics and the rest of the time telling him to leave me alone and get out of my room, especially when he got to the phase of picking up anything he saw and putting it in his mouth. And then, to make matters worse, leaving the things where they dropped, and that would usually be in my room.
Actually, if I was to ask mum today, she would say you all were as bad as each other , but as I can only go by what I’ve seen ; and the fact that I am praying that is not the case , I shrug off the statement. People do say that if you were a certain way as a child , you r child would be like that or maybe worse.
So, as you can imagine there were a lot of sore throats and slammed doors in the house but that would only happen when mum and dad were out, which was not very often. As they say, if these walls could talk! Obviously, this was when he grew out of his cute, adorable phase.
I was what you would call a drama queen. So much so that if you were to ask me the simplest thing I would make it seem like you were asking me to climb Mount Everest or something. And, to top it off I was always so animated that you would think I was auditioning for a starring role in Hollywood movie. The funny thing is if you asked me to act out a scene it would have been painful to watch – just imagine two trains colliding.
Jonnie was the smart allec of the family, as far as he was concerned he was always right even if he was wrong. He knew just how to get my back up; I think he made notes of what annoyed me a nd chose strategically which one to use on me and when to use it and, as always, I took the bate. The thing I never understood was that most of my friends used to like him, and for the life of me I couldn’t see and still can’t see why. Obviously knowing that did wonders for he already enormous ego it is a wonder how his head fit through the doorway.
We had quite a normal upbringing full of laughter followed by tears and tantrums but through all the ups and downs of this mad household I still stand firm to my belief: I wouldn’t trade them for anything well except for Jonnie. Nah, only kidding. As the saying goes, ‘can’t live with them, can’t live without them’.
Our family home was in the centre of town in the busy part of Croydon a few miles away from Mitcham. It was an average size house, we weren’t rich but we never wanted for anything, and if we were good we able to get a little extra; it did not happen very often as mum and dad didn’t believe in spoiling us, they just wanted us to have a better life than they had as every parent does.
Our home was full of the normal living comforts; it had a big living room with cream leather sofas, when you sat in them you would feel like royalty or at least in furniture store showroom and that is the way mum wanted to keep it. It was a case of mess this room at your on peril. None of us dared to test out that theory; I believe we were just chicken though, and we had reason to be as the living room was seen as my mum’s haven.
Because the majority of the household was male they had a room assigned just for them which I did protest against at first until I found out what I could get out of the deal. It was all new stuff for my room plus a bonus of a shopping spree with my dad to get whatever I wanted for my room, within reason that is!
It was mainly my Dad’s room, being the man of the house they called it ‘the Lion’s Den’. It was full of boy’s toys, I mean if computer games and widescreen TV was your thing then that was the place for you, if you were male that is. There were many times that I tried to gate crash but Jonnie would always be in there making me regret ever going in there in the first place.
I did manage to get my revenge although I had to wait a while. Well, to be more precise I had to wait for Corey to be in the picture; the room was turned into a nursery much to dad’s dismay.
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lord_of_fools reviewed Version 1 -
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I know this is only chapter one, but I thought it was a bit too much introduction. By introducing us so early to the mechanics of the household, you leave less room for character development and for the reader to make up their own minds. It reads a bit too much like a children’s novel- like the Babysitter’s Club. There didn’t appear to be much in the way of plot emerging yet either, which makes it harder for the audience to get into.
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jen09 reviewed Version 1 -
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Well, I think this peice has a lot of information in it. With so much information, and with it being short for the amount it contains, I often got confused. It seems like you switch from story to story quite often. I like the information, but think it could be better organized some way. It’s kind of choppy in the way that you skip around so, but it could be easily reorganized, and much easier to understand. Lots of good information, could be better if organized. I’d like to read more.
sparki34 reviewed Version 1 -
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its quite good, croydon means alot to me but wont mean much to the Americans who will be reading this mostly so you might want to be a bit more descritive with croydon call it south london UK or soemthing
KentJaxson reviewed Version 1 -
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The end is abrupt and not powerful enoguh although it has a touch of humour. I found the way you portrayed your family as light and humorous. You spelled bait bate at one point a minor criticism. It felt as if there was sometihng that could have happened at the end a real story. Iknow this is a memoir of sorts but with all that character development it would have been nice for it to lead into a story with a defined conflict rather than just a collection of memories. That however is just my opinion and the writing style was enjoyable i just found myself wanting more.
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