Short Story / The Trainman
Paul was very unhappy for a majority of his life. In fact he was so accustomed to feeling miserable that any other feeling felt almost alien to him. The only thing in his life that brought relief was doing his job, driving trains.
He remembered being a boy and spending his summers on the tracks riding around with his father. He loved the guys his dad worked with, he loved the smell of the engine when he would first get off and he loved the sound of the wheels running along the track. The thing he loved the most was that at night the only things in the world were him, the train and the tracks. The rest of the world didn’t exist. Everything that moves upon the ground stops when a train comes through. The only other sound present was Chris snoring in the sleeper compartment. Paul couldn’t figure why all these kids keep coming in sick to work. When he was his age he would’ve called in sick for a week. Paul even told a couple of the older guys “Jesus Christ if I was Chris’s age and that sick I’d be calling in like a normal human being. I mean I love my job but I ain’t gonna kill myself over it.”
Paul had taken the last two hours of Chris’s shift in the controls so the poor kid could get some sleep. Paul really didn’t mind all that much. If he played his cards right he could make it home a little before one in the morning. Paul was never in much of a hurry to get home because waiting for him there was the thing he hated most in the world, his wife.
His wife was a torrid shrewish shell of a woman if she qualified as human anymore. Her greatest joy seemed to come from tormenting Paul. That was probably the reason she would never leave him even after seven affairs that he intentionly did a bad job of hiding. Of course Paul couldn’t just up and leave her either. Every time he wanted to he would hear his mother and father saying “Son when you find special woman and marry her you and her are joined in every one’s eyes even God’s. Now the law may allow you to get a divorce but God dose not. So if you run out and leave your woman in the cold you will be dead in God’s eyes and in ours” He had been told that ever since he was at least eight years old. So the message just played in his mind like an answering machine tape.
He couldn’t even bring himself to raise his voice against Linda because of the message. He couldn’t be responsible for the divorce, no matter how bad he wanted one. At least with the affair She’d leave him first. So at their twentieth anniversary a little less two years ago Paul had his first pleasure vision as Linda was bitching about why they couldn’t have gone to a better place. As they resurfaced they got better and more intense the more agony she put him through. However they only came when he was at the controls of a train. He would repeatedly have the same visions when he went to sleep. The visions and dreams were of him killing Linda.
The train rolled into the station fifteen minutes before midnight. Chris groaned as the train began to slow down and stop. Paul noticed Chris being whiter than the ghost of Christmas past. He would’ve bet anyone a million dollars that there was no way in hell that Chris was coming in tommorw night. Paul said good-bye to a few people before leaving the station. It took him an hour to drive home and by one in the morning he was fast asleep.
He awoke in his bed to the sound of Linda cooking bacon or sausage. He could hear the sizzle of the skillet from the kitchen. He hated it when she cooked something for breakfast that meant he was in for a real berating.
He got out of bed deciding to walk to the kitchen and get it over with in his pajamas rather than showered and in his clothes. He stared at Linda when he first walked to the kitchen. For a woman who was 43 years old she certainly didn’t look it. She retained almost all of her figure even after two kids. She still had much of the beauty she had when they first met even if she was having to cover it up more and more. He couldn’t stand the fact that she was so thin and did nothing and she always pointed out his ever-growing potbelly.
“Good Morning Honey” she said to him in a cheerful tone. He hated it when she called him honey. He often thought what am I just a thick sticky ooze to her. “Good Morning” he said and went over and kissed her. Her lips tasted like rotten maggot filled garbage to him.
“I made your favorite this morning Sweetheart” Linda said
“Oh really”
“Yep French toast, bacon, sausage plus scrambled eggs”
“Thank you” He always hated it when she made this. It was like she was saying that only I hold the key to happiness and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. He sat down at the table and began to read the paper. Linda sat his dish beside him and gave him a smile. That drove Paul mad with rage to see that bitch put the food down right next to him. Plus she even gave her victory smile saying “There is no chance in hell that you will master any of the culinary arts.” But like always Paul bit his tongue like his daddy taught him and suppressed the rage deep with in himself. Linda started to hum “My Girl” while she was doing the dishs Paul hated it when she started to sing that. It always reminded Paul of their first date and the date his world was raped from him. If it weren’t for her I would have everything. Paul’s mind drifted to their first encounter.
His parents had just returned from a bible study group in town. They told him that they met this lovely other couple there. And they just so happen to have a daughter his age and who is available. His parents ended up setting up the blind date for him. He remembered picking her up from her house and seeing her come out in that blue flowered dress. Strangely enough My Girl started up on the radio when she was walking to the car. Paul couldn’t stand talking to her through dinner and thanked the lord when the movie came he was delighted when she finally shut up. He dropped her off and with no intention of ever seeing her again.
When he got home his parents immediately started in with “Oh I’ll bet she was just great” “I’m sure you had a wonderful time” Just look at that smile and face you can tell he likes her”. The only thing he could do was lie and say “Yeah I like her maybe I’ll see her again”. Of course he had no intention of ever calling her again. A few days go by and something very unusual happened for the time. She called him and said she had a great time. She hopped that they could see each other again some time soon. With his parents standing right behind him he couldn’t say no. They dated through the remaining year of high school and were married the first year after Linda graduated collage. Their first child was born on their two-year anniveresy; their second came roughly three years later. They had moved out almost a year ago today. Paul hated to see them go Linda would sink her claws into him worse than ever.
The only thing that kept Paul sane from the wedding until right now as the maple syrup oozed down his French toast. Was a sole thought, his sole thought of driving trains. He started to eat his bacon when the phone rang. He looked at the caller id on the phone it was the station calling like he figured. He pressed talk and put the receiver to his ear.
“Hey Allen, let me guess Chris called in sick so now I’m going to have to do tonight’s run with Jeremy.”
“Well you’re half right Paul. You’re right about Chris calling in but your wrong about Jeremy.”
“Good I didn’t want to have him along anyway so who is my partner”
“You’re doing tonight’s run solo”
“Allen you’ve got to be kidding me it’s a seven to seven run”
“Look I have no other choice man, half the staff is out with this damn bug. You wouldn’t be the only one flying solo tonight either. We’ve even had to cancel some runs. So what can I put you down for cancellation or a solo act.”
“No that’s all right but I want a bigger bounty because this is really risky if I get caught”
“We know we’ll double the norm to a solid grand”
“Worth the risk”
“Thanks man I’ll see yah tomorrow”
Paul hung up the phone.
“Linda”
“Yeah Honey,” she said coming in from the living room.
“I have to do tonight’s run alone so when we get done with shopping I have to come home and take a nap”
“You getting your normal bonus for it”
“Double but it’s a twelve hour run so I need to stock up on sleep when we get back”
“That’s okay” even though he knew damn well that she was concealing the truth that it was far from okay. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay here I really don’t need you to grocery shop.”
“That’s okay I’ll go with you”
He couldn’t stand when she shopped alone because she always came home with something new and a story to go with it. Plus the stories always started with the aggravating phrases “Paul look what I found at the store. Isn’t it just the most darling cute nick-knack you’ve ever seen in you’re life.” As if it was his fault she could never find that crap when he was around.
Shopping with her was an almost unbearable experience. The whole time she was constantly saying, “oh look at this” or “I’ll bet this would be good one night or another”. Then it got even worse when she went into a five-minute rant about how nice the grapes looked. At this point Paul started to wonder if he smashed her head against the wall how much of a chance he’d have to get away with it. When they finally got to the check out all Paul wanted to do was go home and sleep. He couldn’t stand another second of his wife blathering to the cashier about stupid nothings and niceties. The whole drive home every word spewing out of her mouth made Paul want to scream “JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU! JUST SHUT UP!!! I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE SONG ON THE RADIO OR YOUR STORY BEHIND IT! JUST SHUT UP YOU STUPID WHORE!” That’s what Paul wanted to say to her but what would his parents think of him then. He held it in and gave his favorite list of generic answers.
When they got home Paul immediately went into their bedroom to take his nap. No matter when he got up or how much sleep he had Paul never had trouble falling asleep or staying awake for long periods of time. Its something that all conductors pick up after awhile. Paul started to drift off and dream.
“No Paul leave me alone get away from me”
“SHUT UP AND BLEED”
“NO PAUL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
“DIE BITCH!” Paul said as he stabbed the knife into Linda. He kept on stabling her until his arm aching and sore couldn’t lift the knife anymore.
“Guess I’ll get the garbage bags.”
Paul woke up it was four thirty. Linda would be serving her normal barley palatable dinner soon. He could smell the cooking coming from the kitchen. He got out of bed dreading the walk down the hallway where she would be waiting on the other side. Paul walked to the end of the hallway and went into the kitchen and there he seen her.
“Hey Paul have a nice nap”
“It was okay”
Of course it was nice it the only place I can go to get away from you.
“Guess what I’m making for dinner”
“No what”
“Your Favorite Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes”
“Wow my favorite breakfast and dinner in one day. Is it my birthday or did I forget our anniversary again”
“No its just because your special” She gave Paul a kiss when he closed the door to the refrigerator after he grabbed a Pepsi. Paul would have given his left arm to never have to endure her vile lips touching him again. Paul wondered a thousand times why she didn’t leave him.
He barely touched or started a conversation with her. Paul figured she didn’t leave him because she fed off his misery. He would have sold his soul to the Devil to just be away from her but what would mom and dad think. “How could you leave your wife in the cold Paul” they’d say. They’d tell him how baby Jesus is crying because of this vile deed their son committed.
“Paul”
“Yes”
“You really should think about losing some weight you’ve got to be at least fifteen to twenty pounds overweight”
“Yeah what’s your point?”
“Well its not healthy, your forty-two you’ve got to start eating better”
Yeah I’ve got a little snow on the top you goanna start whining about that too. Your tits have started to sag but do you here me complain and berate you hell no. Paul thought this and looked into Linda’s eyes. To anyone else they would have seemed warm loving and concerned but Paul knew better. He knew that under the facade she enjoyed the fact that she’d be the last thing he’d see before he died.
“Sure” he replied “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Tonight all I want to do is enjoy my meatloaf and mashed potatoes” Hopefully my prayers will be answered and you will dead when I get back.
Paul ate better than a quarter of the dinner. It tasted like cardboard to him. Paul figured that it would be better to be polite and choke it down rather than say anything. When the dinner was over Linda started to clear the table and do the dishes. Paul started to help her with the dishes. “That’s all right honey you can just rest up for work.” Linda said to him. “No I’ll help” Paul replied he knew that she would never forgive him if he didn’t help her.
While drying the dishes a plate slipped out of his hand and shattered on the floor. Paul and Linda stared at the remains of the dinner plate. Linda started to laugh Paul got angry when he heard the sound of it. She continued to laugh harder, louder. Paul’s anger and rage kept increasing at the same rate; he knew she was laughing at him. Tears were coming out of Linda’s eyes and she the volume of laughter increased. The rage was at boiling point Paul began to sweat from the anger. Linda finally calmed down enough to speak.
“Sometimes I think you can’t do anything right”
“What did you say”?
“Can’t you do anything right I mean that plate dropped right between your hands. I mean it was a perfect shot”
“So you don’t think I can do anything right”
“Sometimes I wonder Paul” Linda said still half laughing.
“Well I can do this right”
In one moment 22 years of rage and misery exploded. All the memories of his parents flooded back telling how wonderful she was. Her telling him how happy she was with him. They flooded back like a river in Paul’s mind. The laugh played over and over. Like being in an office where someone’s radio is turned up way to loud. Paul would later call this his moment with God.
He barely remembered picking up the knife from the sink and swinging it at her. He remembered the sound of it sliding effortlessly against her soft neck. Linda dropped to the floor in a bloody heap. Paul didn’t stop there he stabbed her 22 times one for each year of misery. He stood looking down at her bleeding mutilated corpse and smiled. He grabbed the meat cleaver and went to work. He cut her arms, legs and head off. He cut the mid-section into five smaller pieces and piled everything up.
Paul went into the basement at the bottom of the steps there was a shelf to his left. He grabbed paper leaf bags and plastic garbage bags. He went back up stairs he put the items on the counter and went into the office. Grabbing a stapler from the desk he walked back into the kitchen. Paul unfolded the leaf and garbage bags. He stapled the garbage bag five-inches down inside the leaf bag. When Paul had finished all five lawn-bags he loaded Linda’s body into each of them. He rolled the tops of the bags down to conceal the staples.
By the time he had finished cleaning up all the blood in the kitchen it was time to go to work. He loaded the bags in the trunk of his car. His drive to work took the usual hour but it was more pleasant than usual. Everyone seemed friendlier when he pulled into the station. He parked his car near the train and started to unload the bags. He had the last bag in hand when he heard
“Hey Paul!”
Paul turned around with a sudden jolt. It was his friend Kevin.
“You have to do tonight’s run solo to huh”
“Yep”
“Dumping some garbage when you pass over the dump”
“You could say that”
“Well have a good trip. You want to grab a beer with the guys after work”
“I’ll buy the first round See yah then”
“See yah”
Paul finished loading the last bag into his cabin. The plastic held extremely well there wasn’t a drop of blood anywhere. Paul’s train started up and he began his trip. As Paul passed over the dump he threw all five bags off. They landed softly on one of the giant hills. Paul watched as the remains became lost among the rotting filth. “Better than she deserved” he said to himself.
When he closed the door he was filled with joy that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. All of his misery was washed away. I’m doing what I love to do and now free of that tyrannical whore. I have everything that I could ever want. “Thank you God for giving me the strength to make my happiness come true” he said on his knees.
He started to weep.
THE END
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Well, you had an…original idea.
I must say, I find the use of total capitalization a bit tacky. It feels a little childish, but I suppose it’s a matter of opinion.
Now, the beginning of your story was interesting, but as the story went on, your writing turned a little stale. It was very flat, with the same sort of sentences like, “Paul did this and then went to do that.” You should incorporate varied sentence structures, use commas, semicolons, just something to rid the story of the monotony.
You have very little adjectives, adverbs, or imagery. There is little description, making your writing feel very two-dimensional and not at all as poetic and vivid great writing could be. After all, the reader has no idea what these people look like, where they’re living, and there is nothing to tempt the imagination.
This story could be really good, fascinating and insightful, but the writing style, the grammar mistakes, spelling, typos, and lack of punctuation at the end of quotations just kills it. You could have made Paul’s apparent paranoia of his wife more suspenseful, his whole downfall just more dramatic and alive.
I do have to ask though, if Paul has children, where are they? He’s eating dinner and his children don’t show up for the meal?
- add/view comments (0)
Showing 1 - 1 of 1
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
