Action Adventure / Up From the Depths Part 18
Spinning to face that direction, he slowed his pace, allowing the hummer and its walking entourage to increase distance from him. As he passed the alley, he saw movement at the far end, then several lurching shadows blocked out what little light bled into it from adjoining buildings. He slowed his pace even more as the entrance moved behind him, reaching up with his left hand to key the mike on his shoulder.
“Dunmire, Wilson, pick up the pace a little. Valdez, slow down, Axtell, swing that .50 around real slow like, don’t make it look like you’re doing it for any reason but to get it out of your way.” He said quietly as his right thumb moved up to the selector switch on his M16, clicking it over to three round burst. His left hand moved down from the radio mike, automatically checking ammo pouches, stopping on the WP grenade clipped to his belt. A rancid smell started to waft towards him over the exhaust of the hummer. It was a combined smell of garbage, open sewer and rotting flesh, almost making him gag. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Axtell’s ACU shape shuffle on the roof of the hummer, slowly swinging the big M2 around. Cautiously, Hathaway raised his left hand, pointing to the alley. He saw Axtell nod, center his aim at the entrance and brace his feet in preparation to fire on his command. Hathaway picked up the pace a little, still walking a little sideways, his weapon pointing in the general direction of the hostiles.
“Slow and easy people. No sudden moves.” He keyed his mike once more. Most of the civilians didn’t notice the hummer slow down. Jimbo first noticed that something was strange when he looked over and saw Berg over the hood, a view that normally was obstructed by the hatchback of the hummer. He looked back at the master sergeant, seeing him with his rifle aimed at an alley they had passed, walking slower, staring intently into the darkened entrance. He thought he smelled something spoiled, but couldn’t be sure over the smell of diesel exhaust. Jimbo caught Berg’s eye, nodded, jerked his head back in the direction of Hathaway then gripped his sister’s hand tighter. He watched as Berg slowly looked behind, looked back at him, nodded then used his inhaler. Jimbo walked a little faster. Coming abreast to the middle aged couple in front of him. He forced a grin, nodded to them then looked back at Berg, who had increased his pace as well. The college girl that Berg had his arm around was now clutching his forearm, eyes wide with fear.
Hathaway watched more of the shadowy shapes shamble and shuffle towards him from the black opening of the alley.
“Steady. Steady.” he said into the radio mike, not sure if it was meant to reassure the others or himself. He was almost to the end of the block and to the rear of the hummer when a power transformer arced, spit sparks then popped, cutting power to several city blocks, enveloping them in pitch-blackness. Screaming came from the group around the hummer. Several people ran into the beams of the headlights, bumping into each other, arms flailing, eyes trying to look in all directions.
“Son of a bitch!” Axtell shouted before firing off a burst at the alley he hoped he was still lined up on. The large muzzle flash of the heavy weapon illuminating him like a strobe. Hathaway instinctively ducked and moved in the direction of the hummer, now just a dark shape with small red lights at the rear. He saw those lights brighten slightly as Valdez hit the brakes.
“Cease fire! Cease Fire!” Hathaway yelled out as he ran crouched over to the back of the hummer. The heavy weapon stopped firing only to be replaced with screams of the panicked civilians and loud moans from the alley. Jesus Christ, this kid thinks he needs to recon by fire. Hathaway thought to himself. Not a bad idea, but we need to conserve ammo for targets that we can see.
“Wilson! Dunmire! Sound off!” Hathaway called out into the darkness. He shifted position a little, placing his back against the hummer, changing magazines for a full one, stuffing the partially used mag in the previously empty dump pouch at his waist.
“Here Master Sergeant!” a nervous Wilson replied from over his right shoulder at the front of the hummer. Hathaway waited what seemed an eternity for Dunmire to call out.
“Dunmire! Dunmire! Sound off!” Silence. Hathaway rose up a little to look over his left shoulder where Dunmire should be.
“Valdez!”
“Hoo-ah Sergeant!”
“You see Dunmire?”
“No Sergeant!” Where was that little chicken shit?
“Axtell! You see Dunmire?”
“No Sergeant.” Damn. Hope that kid didn’t run off. He had four civvies with him.
“OK people, we’re going to pick up the pace a little, like a jog. Put a hand on the side of the vehicle and keep up with it” Hathaway heard whimpering and some outright sobbing. He was more concerned by the moaning still emanating in the alley with more coming from further behind them.
“Everyone get back in their places and lets go!” He came up along the driver’s side of the hummer, pulling people into place before he got to the driver’s window.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
radio mike-mic
civvies with him.-I never heard the term civvies before I liked it and you missed an quotation mark at the end of this sentence.
This story is exactly what it’s been categorized as so far…all about action. I like the plot and that as I reader I know at some point theres an end to this. Some stories seem to be able to drag on forever, but you seem to be leading your characters to a certain goal…safety. Thank god for the catch up …I wouldve been completely lost. I like personal stories I wouold like to see your characters connect with each more in future chapters.I want to know more about them.
- add/view comments (0)
A nice piece. I haven’t read any of the other parts so I appologize if I get some things out of context. This is well written. It reads as if you’ve actually had military training or done some research and that brings a realism to the work. I like the immediatacy of the situation – escorting several civis down an alley at night trying to escape.
Be careful of repetition. The word pace is used several times near the beginning. Perhaps replacing it in a few spots or reworking to remove altogether.
When the transformer explodes everyone is plunged into darkness. This is a nice image but then I get lost since no one can see anything. I like the fact that you have them run in front of the Hummer headlights. That actually creates a great and exciting image. I wonder if they couldn’t be plunged into darkness for a few seconds until their eyes adjusted or if some of the soldier’s could have night vision. That would heighten the suspense more as they go from seeing things in natual light to bright green etc. All just mho of course.
I look forward to more of this.
Showing 1 - 2 of 2
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
