Action Adventure / Up From the Depths Part 8
Hundreds of miles away in a secure, underground facility known only as Site 18, a meeting was taking place. Major General Thaddeus Augustus Lee Royd late of the US Air Force was discussing matters with his executive officer.
“So the Unbelievers are attempting to re-form the country.” He said unquestionably, his face red and sweaty, his massive girth barely contained in the strange uniform of his own design. Had he not been weeks away from retirement when IT happened, he would have faced two choices, enter the service weight management program or be booted out. Colonel Charles Forrester just nodded. Forrester stood out, not just because his eyes were black like obsidian totally devoid of life, his face pale, almost gothic, but because he was well over six feet in height, with his combat boots on, he towered over average people.
“The heathen masses are slowing down our brethren. We must stop them from delaying God’s work. Who are they to attempt to stop the holy cleansings? God’s minions are walking the earth. Their mission is righteousness. They cannot be delayed in ridding the earth of all the unbelievers and their spawn! The mission is just, his might unstoppable. His will be done.” Lee Royd bowed his head to the desk top, clutching a wooden cross with both hands. Finally after several quiet moments of pseudo prayer, he thrust his fist up. “Thank you Almighty God for you has shown me the way to destroy the unbelievers!” He spit out in an imitated southern drawl taken from his favorite televangelist. Turning to his second in command.
“Colonel, do everything in your power to prevent them from disrupting God’s divine plan.”
“As you wish sire.” Forrester did a deep bow and retreated from the room. Lee Royd draped several long strips of cloth, sarong style over his shoulders and turned to admire himself in the full-length mirror; he struck a Napoleonic pose and changed his facial features to match each shift in his posture as he draped various robes over his shoulder, Roman toga style.
Forrester walked the halls of the complex, the people he passed almost visibly recoiled from his presence as he strutted towards the communications center. Pushing past the startled soldier who snapped to attention and smartly saluted, he moved inside and grabbed the first comm tech he found.
“You. Worm. Send out a message to Cicero. Tell him to do anything to slow down or further delay what the unbelievers are doing. Whatever needs to be done, he is to do it.” Pulling the shaken man closer to him and sneering in his face. “Do you understand?”
“Y.. Y.. Yes sir I do.” Forrester let the man go and wiped his hands on the back of the man’s uniform shirt before leaving the comm section. The tech let out a breath of air and thanked himself that he had already used the restroom facilities or he might have voided his bowels.
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I think you’ve created a very good antagonist here. My one suggestion is to allow the commanders to dictate some insidious military action. Ex: “Float little rafts with bowls of cooked meat into the swamp where the electrified coils were laid. That’ll attract the children. When the mothers rush in to pull their brats from harm’s way, close the circuit.”
Good work.
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I like the use of description here in showing the characters. So many things here don’t give any visual clues. You work them in well so that they add and not detract from the story.
From what I can gather, this is a zombie / religious cult piece. I’d see if there were other more colorful words to describe the supposed ‘enemy’ than unbelievers. That and some of the dialog make these villians come off a little campy and not so believably serious. If your going for a fun campy feel then it works fine, if not some minor changes could really bring about a more ominous tone to it.
Just one thing:
- God for you has shown
Should it be ‘God for you have shown’
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