Which one was happy not to?
When I posted this piece I did not know how to use italics on this site.. I feel they would have come in handy here. Thank you for reading!
Non-fiction / Adventures in Car Maintenance
I went and got my oil changed this morning for my 12 year old non-descript blue Toyota Corolla today.
Early, like 9 am..
Threw on some sweatpants and a little hoodie, and drove to the nearest quick-change oil joint.I was greeted by this adorable young man with dark hair, and a red workshirt..
He was all cheery and smiles, and my eyes are barely even open for the day.
He opens the car door for me, so I may step out of my coach.
Charming.
“What can we do for you today?” the noble young man asks me, and for a moment, a sly smile spreads across my face..”Oil change” I say, as I lift my sunglasses off my eyes and put them on top of my head.
“Would you like us to use the recommended oil for this vehicle?”
“Whatever is cheapest, I’m broke.”
He nods, adding an understanding smile.
I turn to walk away with my Starbucks Frappachino and my Marlboro Lights, when I realize I don’t have a light.
“Do you have any matches?”
He reaches into to his thoroughly worn red workshirt and pulls out a pack of matches with grease stains on them.
“I will give them back when I am done.”
He smiles again, nodding.
I grab a bench in the sunlight and I can sorta see what he is doing.
I am admiring him, and his ritual of taking care of my vehicle.
I think.. “He’s a cutie pie, isn’t he?”
I turn to face the front windows of the shop while I light my cigarette. My raccoon eyes with yesterdays eyeliner and mascara are staring back at me. My bed head not very well disguised by the clip I have thrown it into, with random strays that didn’t quite make it into the clip with the rest.
I put my sunglasses back over my eyes.
Leaning back, I feel something between my teeth.
A large remnant of a bagel.
Niiiiiccccceeeee.
Oh man, I am sure a looker this morning.
sigh
I destract myself by chain smoking 3 cigarettes in a row.
Sipping my rapidly turning warm, cold coffee based beverage..
Trying not to stare an the darling young man who is helping this damsel in distress.
I wonder…if I was 20?
Would he be interested?
Would I?
Probably not.. I was too stupid to pick quality men back then. I’m too stupid to pick quality men now!I figure, maybe he didn’t see the food in my teeth, maybe he is…30? 27?
Ugh! You know he is 22 at best.
He walks over to me, to give me his recomendations.
He totally understands when I tell him that I have $50 bucks to my name and puts the kabash on his whole sales pitch.
Still smiling, he walks away to finish the job.
Hmmm..Maybe I don’t look as bad as I thought.
I get called to the counter to pay.
They don’t even pull my car out of the stall.
I am handed my keys, and I can “just pull it out myself.”
I walk past my little mechanic, and give a him a BIG SMILE, and a “thank you!” as I open my own car door.
He doesn’t even look up from his diagnostic sheet.
As I pull out, I call.. “thanks again” out the window.
My oil changer has suddenly become a deaf, mute..I catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror.
And there it is..
My face.
38 years old.
With permanent creases across the forehead, and crows feet around my eyes that look tired and worn, accented by the stray gray hairs that have fallen loose from my thrown up hairdo.
Whew! and all this time I thought, I had a booger or something.
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AMW reviewed Version 1 -
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ARHowerton reviewed Version 1 -
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jacheree reviewed Version 1 -
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The structure didn’t bother me at all! Quite the contrary—it’s nice to see something different every now and then. I like that this is kind of a look into your mind on this particular morning. You are very conversational and honest.
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Squigglesy reviewed Version 1 -
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Hx reviewed Version 1 -
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kyrieleison reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice comedic ending to contrast the anxiety of the situation. The form does seem to take away from the work, however. Perhaps a bit more description to flesh out the piece and some quotes around the two voices of the inner monologue; the one that wants the young man and the one that is happy not to.
kimberlyziglar reviewed Version 1 -
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“12 year old non-descript blue Toyota Corolla” is a complete oxy-moron.
Your language (“coach”, “charming”, etc.) suggests in the story that you’re well-educated and wealthy but it doesn’t match your character. Also there are some misspellings and punctuation problems.
It’s an interesting story though.
easywriter57 reviewed Version 1 -
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Sheri, use your spell check. This is so typical. When they need your business, so sweet. When they find out you’re broke, they don’t know you anymore. Men are usually attracted to older women under the assumption that they have good jobs and are very secure. As far as the eye make up and hair? That is an eye opener in here for sure!haha
A great piece. Something like this could be published in a magazine for women probably.
ducatigav reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi There
I know that the format isn’t brilliant but the tale is! Growing old eh? I’m just glad that it comes to us all. I enjoyed reading it and it made me smile.
Thanks
Gav
Dauna reviewed Version 1 -
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I laughed out loud. I liked the style as it is matter of fact and think this is a great piece.
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