Novel Treatments / Balance and The Sword (Chapter 1)
Chapter 1: Dueling Seasons
Through the whispers in the trees, the Silver Haired Wolf could hear his mother cry. Although he would not flinch, he felt the sting swell deep in his eyes. The tears of many moons ago rose in him like the sun rises high into the sky. His brilliant grey eyes widen a bit and the wet surface flashed brightly in the moonlit prairie. I will not be weak, he repeated in his head. I will not be weak. The memories overcame him and he began to howl. From birth she had loved him like no other creature ever loved it’s baby. She would have fought a dozen cougars alone with no thought for Wolf. She would have starved herself just to let him have dessert. She would have given him her skin if he had been only a little cold. Her love was shield, protecting him from the ugliness of life. She knew that he loved her even though he never said it. Wolf was too busy for his mother, trying to be leader of the pack and going on hunts. To him, she would always be there and so he thought he had plenty of time.
I will not be weak. Day after day went by. He had become the best hunter in the pack, far surpassing the leader at the time. The Great Lady Wolf was so proud of her cub, although he never saw it. All he could see was being king of the pack and leading his people to the promise land of fairy tales. When it finally came time to challenge the leader for his throne, Wolf was ready. I will not be weak. The Great Lady Wolf said I love you to her son one final time and all he did was say he’d return to her as a king. He met the leader in a circle of pack members and began the fierce fight. Shining white fangs dripped red within seconds. Growls and barks could be heard through the mountain tops, the two titans were warring with each other. The birds came to watch, ruffling their feather loudly as they landed in the trees. The mountain lions appeared to view the battle. Leopards stood at a distance watching with awe and wonder. Never was their such a battle in the history of the forest. Wolf caught a claw to the nose causing a deep gash. The pain burned him, but he fought on determined to make good his promise to his mother. He swiped blindly at the leader, missing almost every time. The crows cawed on every miss. The lions roared on every blow Wolf received. The spectators knew, if Wolf didn’t make his move soon he would die. The leader at last made the mistake of lunging for the throat to early and left himself wide open and venerable. Wolf knew this was his only chance. He pounced on his neck, through the leader down to the snow and sunk his teeth in. It was over within moments. The whole brawl left bloody imprints in the fine, fresh snow. All were silent, until Wolf stood up as the new king. The pack howled with approval, the lions roared with disbelief, the birds cawed and flapped their wings, and leopards growled in cat like tongue. Wolf truly was the new king. King of the entire forest. His fir stained with blood, he stood on his hind legs and howled up to heaven. This was his moment. This was his destiny.
The crowd dispersed quietly into the night, now Wolf was off to find his mother. He ran back to their den, but no sign of her. Her sent still filled the room, but their was another smell too… something sweet. His eyes widened. He knew that smell. I will be strong. It was the smell of what covered him. It was the smell that embodied lost hope and destruction. I will be strong. The smell of vengeance and betrayal. The smell of fresh blood filled the den. Wolf stood stunned for a moment, before whirling around to the dens entrance. He saw for the first time, the drag marks by the mouth of their home. She was killed in the den and then dragged outside into the woods. He ran outside, but it was no use. A heavy snow had set in and buried any tacks beneath it. Wolf was alone. The new king was alone. I will be strong. He couldn’t be alone. She was always supposed to be there for him, no matter what. Now she was gone. All the things he had meant to say, all the things he meant to do, and all the things he wished for seemed to fade into that one word: alone. I am not strong. Wolf howled. It was the most ungodly sound that has ever been screeched by any tormented soul. Wolf then did the only thing he could do. He ran. Either the forest or the pack had betrayed him. He ran until the sun came up over the mountain, his pack far behind him. He never saw any of them again. He never found his mother nor knew her fate. All he knew was that he was not strong. He was weak. He was a wolf without a pack.
I love you, mother.
“Wolf?”
Wolf shook himself out of his daydream to find Bear staring down at him. Bear was a large grizzly that Wolf had run into after finding the Oak tree. He was a gruff fellow, as most bears are, but he wasn’t the most difficult person that Wolf had ever known. He was stubborn, but so was Wolf. He was powerful, but so was Wolf. The only thing they didn’t really have in common was in that Bear hated humans and Wolf did not see the need to harbor prejudice. Even with so many things in common, that one little conflict kept them as pale enemies.
“Yes… what is it Bear?”
Bear’s black eyes deepened a little, as though he felt Wolf should know what he wants. That was always like Wolf, he thought to himself. Always making him spell the simple things out for him. The harvest moon was already at it’s peak in the sky and the Oak was still unguarded. It was nights like this one that always got Bear’s nerves up on end. A full moon, a changing season, a cold wind from the east, and the migrating birds reported storms moving in from the North. It was a recipe, Bear thought, for disaster. With all this going on, Wolf was just sitting in the prairie howling and staring off into space. How like him. Nothing mattered to the likes of that human-lover. Not the animals in the forest, not the Sap of Seasons, and maybe not even the forest itself. It was animals like Wolf that really made Bear mad. If the King of Beasts didn’t need him so much, Bear would have killed him a long time ago. Alas, however, as it is every animals duty to serve their king and the king made it quite clear: protect Wolf at all costs.
Bear didn’t understand what was so special about him. As far as he could tell, Wolf was just a pack-less old freak. The only thing that Bear liked of him was his scar. The deep scar the Wolf wore on his nose told Bear the story of a fierce gladiator that had fought through many great battles. The thing that really perplexed him was how could the gladiator in his visions be this mangy excuse for a wolf that stood before him? Maybe it was his age, Bear offered as an answer to himself. No, it couldn’t be. Wolf was only a few years older than Bear and Bear didn’t look as battle worn as Wolf by any means. Whatever the reason for it was, Bear knew that he would always hate Wolf. He would hate him, but would be fascinated by him.
Bear grumbled in a low tone, “The King wants us to sleep at the Oak until the harvest moon is no longer full.”
Wolf sighed and stretched out his neck. His aching bones were glad for the exercise, but Bear seemed impatient for some reason.
Wolf smiled, “So, we’ll be by the Oak for four days then?”
Bear nodded his head yes and the two of them started toward the North end of the prairie. Bear was surprised by Wolf’s speed. Bear knew he took large strides and that most animals could barley keep up with him, yet Wolf seemed to only be trotting alongside him with no effort. Bear was indeed a bit upset at this. He liked the thought of poor old Wolf trying to catch up to him, but with little success. So, when Wolf had no problem keeping pace, Bear lost his temper a bit and got ready to pounce on Wolf if he said another word to him. Bear glared down at him. Wolf’s eyes shoot upward and met Bears with surprising speed. Almost as if sensing his anger, Wolf didn’t speak until the Oak was in full view of them.
“Do you want to sleep on the North or South side, Bear?” Wolf asked lowly and strongly.
Bear loved the South side the best. It had the least breeze during the night and the sun always seemed to collect their during the dawn. It also was the easiest to defend due to the lake that lay only fifty feet away from the Oak’s trunk on the South side. Bear had decided: South side it was.
“I’ll take the South.”
He said it with a kind of flat attitude, as though he weren’t talking to anyone but himself. Wolf knew how Bear felt about him, so he was used to Bear’s constant attitude toward him. He didn’t mind it really, the less Bear said the better for Wolf. He hated listening to Bear’s stories about his father and all the battles he had fought in. Wolf felt it quite vein to discuss ones war wounds as badges of honor. Wolf found it better to honor his opponents rather than humiliate them. They really were two totally different spirits, Wolf and Bear. Bear was brash and used force to solve all of life’s little problems. Wolf, on the other hand, used his brain and cleverness to overcome any challenge he faced. Unfortunately for the two of them, this complete opposite made for the perfect team and it seemed like the king of beasts knew that. Yin and Yang governed all the species of the world, man and animal alike. The balance between good and evil on a global scale, but on a smaller one was the balance between spirit and faith. Between those who learn and those who will never back down. Everything is in constant conflict creating an almost perfect harmony. Bear and Wolf were the complete representation of Yin and Yang.
No one knew when the Oak was planted, but it was the most ancient of all trees in Kou forest. It was a brilliant sight to behold, full of life and thick, strong limbs. It was almost flawless, fed eternally by the small lake on the South side of it. The people of the nearby village of Kyouwa used the Oak as a shrine during the spring, bringing all sorts of tributes to it in hopes of being granted a great harvest during the upcoming year. Year after year, their wish was granted and, through time, stories of the trees power spread about the forest like wild fire. Animals and humans alike would come to the tree now year round in hopes of being granted some miracle. Weather or not the tree had any true power, it had become a beacon of faith for all races, not just one. Wolf thought that this was the reason that the king of beasts had assigned he and Bear to guard it. He figured that the king wanted to protect the tree because of the joy and hope it filled all peoples with. He could see no other reason than that anyway. To Wolf, it was a plain old Oak tree, nothing more nothing less.
“Everything look normal over there?”
During Wolf’s walk around of the Tree, Bear had moved over to the lake to catch fish for their dinner. Bear didn’t have good eyes, making him useless in an observational situation. Wolf offered, as he always did, to do the walk around alone and asked if Bear wouldn’t mind catching fish for supper. Even though Bear disliked Wolf, he knew it was a good idea considering neither he nor Wolf had eaten all day. By the time Wolf completed his walk around, Bear had caught enough food to feed an army or bears. The divided the fish in half, Bear taking a few extra of course, and began to eat in silence. Bear was able to fit most of the fish he caught into his mouth hole and was therefore done much faster than Wolf. Bear belched loudly and sat up. Wolf continued to chew his food, savoring the flavor and smell of meat.
“So, was everything in order?” bear asked out of boredom.
Wolf nodded yes and began gnawing at his food again. Bear got a little upset by the fact the Wolf didn’t seem to care that he was bored. He felt offended and decided to try and get some sleep. Wolf looked at Bear coyly and swallowed his food.
“Do you suppose there is a reason we are out here?” he asked.
“Of course, idiot. We are out here because the king ordered us out here.”
“That’s not what I mean. Do you think there is a reason the king wants us to protect this tree?”
“Well, he lives here right?” Bear said snidely.
“So, what are we then? Security guards? I like to think of myself in a little better light that!”
“Look, Wolf…” Bear yelled becoming disturbed, “All I know is that we were ordered out here. I’m sure the King has his reasons. What they are, I have no idea nor do I want to think about it. I just want to get through these four days without having to hear another word out of you. Understand?”
“yes, I understand.” Wolf said coldly. “I understand you are a fool.”
“What was that?!” Bear yelled springing to his feet. “You dare call me a fool?! I’ll crush you!”
Bear was standing straight up which made him seven feet tall. He towered over the crafty Wolf trying to intimidate him out of his courage. Wolf didn’t budge so much as an inch. All he did was finish off the last fish and come to his feet.
“Crush me? Ha! I’d like to see you lay a paw on me you wretched creature.”
“Insolence! How dare you disrespect me like this?! You’ve gone too far and now I will teach you a lesson!”
Bear fell forward, almost crushing Wolf as he had promised, but at the last possible moment Wolf darted to the left and Bear hit the dirt with full force. Before bear knew what had happened, Wolf was on his back clawing away at Bear’s skin. Bear growled and thrashed about violently, throwing Wolf of him and onto the ground some three feet away. Wolf growled deeply as Bear spun to face him. The stood staring at one another. Finally, Wolf broke the tentative silence.
“This is stupid, Bear. We are supposed to be on the same side. Stop this!”
“Not until you learn respect!”
Bear charged. Wolf tried to move out of the way, but the soft Earth under him gave way and he lost his footing. Beat plowed into him knocking him high into the air and about ten feet back. Wolf landed with a sickening thud. Bear stood up and watched as Wolf struggled to his feet. No matter what Bear said, he was impressed by the old Wolfs resilience. Bear smiled to himself evilly, resilient yes but I did defeat him. There is no way he has any strength left in those old bones to fight anymore. I hope learned something.
“Had enough?”
Bear looked at Wolf as he lifted his head to look at him. He watched as Wolf’s eyes grew wide with surprise. Wolf shrieked to Bear,
“Bear! Behind you!”
Bear spun around in time to see a black shadow right on top of him. The shadow threw something on him and knocked him over with some kind of spinning power kick the force of which Bear had never felt before. Whatever the shadow had thrown on him burned like fire all over his body. He began to growl ferociously and tear at his body trying to get the pain to subside. All the while he heard Wolf running to his side.
“Get the shadow, Wolf! Protect the tree!”
Wolf looked at Bear and nodded to him before running toward the shadow who was up high in the Oak tree. It seemed to be cutting the tree deeply as if it were searching for something. Wolf ran around the tree until he found a low enough branch to climb on top of. He slowly climbed his way up the tree, branch by branch until he was almost to the shadow. That was when Wolf realized the shadow was human. Wolf slipped on a thin branch and caught himself by only his front paws. He was dangling a good sixty feet in the air above harsh, cold grounds near the tree trunk. The fall may be enough to kill him. The shadow laughed in a deep, aged voice.
“Foolish Wolf. I have what I came for.”
With that the shadow glided down to a lower tree branch and hoped to the ground past the anguished Bear. Wolf could sense his smile as looked upon bear.
“Any true warrior, upon feeling a burning sensation, would have headed for water.”
And with that, the shadow disappeared into Kou forest and out of sight. Wolf held on long enough to watch Bear pass out from the pain, then he fell.
Anzo hated this town. Kyouwa was just too ‘quiet’ for him. Nothing ever really happened there and it made all the days dull and lifeless. Sometimes, he would find himself laying in the middle of the large field North of the town gates just looking up at the sky. He never did that, not even as a kid. Somehow, he felt like he was losing his edge and, as a samurai, that could be the line between life and death. Anzo the Wild felt tame in Kyouwa, like a caged tiger.
Rei had told him that Kyouwa was the best place to lay low while things cooled down for him. Of course, it is hard to lay low when you look like Anzo did. If his wild thick hair standing out at all angles didn’t give him away, then the monstrous sword attached by a sheath to his back would. Anzo’s blade was so tall that it would drag heavily upon the ground as he walked even though the sword was actually thinner than most normal katana’s. It truly was an odd sight. A thin lanky man and a huge blade like that just didn’t fit right. Not to mention the man you were looking was the most wanted man in Japan for a supposed murderous nature. It would be a lot to take in and, as most people do, you would probably leave him alone.
Even with all that, Anzo hadn’t had to fight off any bounty hunters since he got to Kyouwa. He really was happy for the break, although he would never say it. Anzo figured it best to let people think he loved a good fight or, better yet, to kill someone who dared challenge him. Truth be told, Anzo had only killed six people. All in self defense too, he always said to himself. Yet, for some reason, all the magistrates had this obsession with trying to have him arrested and executed. It was most likely due to Anzo strange appearance that people in power tended to discriminate and judge him so quickly… at least that was Anzo’s theory. Hell, some of the magistrates had gone so far as to lie about him saying things like how he had killed and eaten two children in Jodo. Anzo had fled Jodo long before that story surfaced, but he had really hoped that two children didn’t go missing just to corroborate the magistrates story. Anzo wasn’t a big believer in karma, but he knew that he would go to Jodo later in life and then that magistrate would get his just rewards.
He always thought it was funny how people called him Anzo the Wild because he was, in fact, a very laid back guy. He’d rather do nothing all day long than get up and go fight people that insulted him. Maybe that’s why his refuge as of late had been a place he could lay down and slip into a dream like meditation. A place where he could just listen to the cool winds and try to hear the sounds clouds make as they pass overhead. What he loved most was the fact that he could close his eyes. He hadn’t been able to do that since Jodo four years ago. He was always looking over his shoulder because you never knew where the next one would be. It was nice to be able to breath again. So, as he sat in his contemplative meditation, Anzo took a deep breath and heard the ‘swish’ of a passing cloud.
“Bar boy! Get me another of these damn things…”
It was only seven at night and, already, Seishitsu was dead drunk. It was the old samurai’s weakness, the booze. He just couldn’t control himself nor did he want to. As an old, washed up samurai drinking was the only thing he had to look forward to. He could barely carry around his trusty war hammer anymore and his bones were so bad every step he took was a challenge. When your sixty years old with the soul of a twenty year old you always run into problems. Problems, as Seishitsu saw it, that could be solved by drowning yourself in a sake cup.
“No sir. You have enough for tonight.”
Seishitsu stood up off of his stool, wobbled a bit, steady himself, and picked up his hammer slinging it over his shoulder. His think body looked as though it may snap due to the tremendous burden that the hammer put on his shoulders. Yet, Seishitsu didn’t even flinch from the weight. He seemed more focused on the bartender. His eyes rested on him and the tension in the bar began to grow. He looked angry for a moment, but then his face turned into an obvious fake smile. His wrinkled face and bony completion made smile look ever more plastic.
“Look, sonny, I don’t want to have to smash up your bar over a drink. So, why don’t you just shut yur yap and pour me another?”
The room was stunned by the old mans statement. Seishitsu was known throughout Kyouwa for his anger and his nature to want to fight everyone, but this went far beyond anything they had heard of. The old samurai just stood with the whole bars eyes on him, still smiling through his clenched teeth.
“I think only fair to warn you that we’ve hired some new security around here, pops.” The bar tender sprayed at Seishitsu.
“He’s scared. I got him on the ropes. He’s lying, this place couldn’t avoid any real good security. Besides, who would travel through Kou woods to Kyouwa to guard some rundown bar? I’ll be drinking again in no time.” Seishitsu’s mind really was a masterpiece. He didn’t think along conventional lines. His brashness overpowered his aged wisdom in most situations, yet in everything he thought another voice would chirp in some worldly advice. It was almost as if his young self and his current self would converse in his head and, contrary to what you’d think, they were good friends. They agreed on everything even if it was a stupid thought or not. It was good to love yourself, Seishitsu thought.
“Right, kid. Wha kind of pansy security guards you got here? Five year neighbor hood kids? Ha!”
In all his taunting, Seishitsu had failed to notice the three extremely large men who now stood in a half moon behind him. The were all strong, ox like men with large arms and grim expressions. Still laughing, Seishitsu turned around sensing people behind him and slowly stopped laughing. He dropped his head and sighed.
“Lemme guess, the five year olds, right?” Seishitsu asked glumly.
One of them grunted and the next thing Seishitsu knew, he was outside the bar on his back. Upon hitting the hard dirt road outside, he felt a jolt of unbelievable pain shoot up his back. He was too proud to scream, but he did grunt as he sat up to look back the three men. They were standing in the doorway of the bar glaring at him. The biggest one had Seishitsu’s hammer and was walking back inside with it.
“You know, that is my hammer you got there.” Seishitsu said calmly.
“Mine now, old man.” Grunted the overgrown oaf.
“Well, as long as you know I’ll be getting it back, then borrow it. I don’t mind.”
The three men laughed and walked back inside the bar. Seishitsu stood outside dusting himself off with a genuine smile on his face for once. They had no idea who they messing with. Seishitsu cracked his spine and laughed out loud for a moment. This was going to be fun. Seishitsu took a moment to take it all in. It had been awhile, after all, since anything that had promise for a good fight developed. Most of the time, it was just a bunch of trash talking punk kids that acted tough to impress each other. So, when Seishitsu called their bluffs, they always backed down. It must have been four months since his last fight and he was starving for a good scrape. Seishitsu sighed and began his long walk home. He got to drink and got himself a vendetta, tonight had been a great night.
“Let the sword be an extension of your being. Let all of your energy flow through you and let it glide along the blade. Do not let your mind control the swords movement, let it blaze it’s own path. Guide it gently and push it tenderly. It is you and you are it. Move as one and you shall be as one…”
The teachings of Komichi’s sensei echoed through him like a distant cry in an endless cave. Be as one. Komichi’s drawn sword gleamed in the cool night air. His kata flowed effortlessly tonight and so he felt the deep sense of peace the eludes most wandering samurai. The clear water running past his ankles kept him bound to the earth while his soul took flight to soar into the realm of tranquility. It was a strange form of meditation indeed. To find such peace in a fighting system was truly a paradox. For Komichi to find his calm he needed to mimic battle, the most stressful situation one can engage in. Even Komichi’s sensei had told him that simple, practical meditation would probably be more effective. Yet, Komichi continued his strange ritual every night, without deviation. He didn’t do it to become enlightened or find his inner strength. No, Komichi did it to become one with his sword. To become one with his best friend.
He had been through a lot in the short time he had been traveling. He had come across more bandits than he would have liked, but he dispatched them quite easily. Not so easy was finding food while wandering. You couldn’t very well find a job if you were going to leave town the next day, so Komichi had to find odd jobs for little cash to buy small amounts of food. He always thought that most kids got more for a weeks allowance then he did in a whole month. Some of the other wanderers would steal from open air food carts, but Komichi was too proud to resort to that. He would rather die than to disgrace Bushido. In fact, he had almost died for his principles before running into the sweet little town of Kyouwa.
He didn’t want to think about it. Instead, his subconscious switched to thoughts of Kyouwa. He the quite little town to be quite charming in it’s own way. The people were nice and mainly kept to themselves like all people should, he believed. He was quiet and didn’t like to speak much, this made most people uneasy, but not these people. He found it heartwarming to find that he was more accepted because he didn’t speak than shunned for it. It felt good to be accepted every once in a while.
His kata drew to a close and Komichi opened his eyes. It was another perfect night. Not to warm, but not to cold either. The stars shown down upon a dim and still Kyouwa. It truly was peaceful. However, it was Autumn and the trees leaves hadn’t even begun to change color yet. Komichi found it quite strange, but always dismissed it as some kind of accident and began to think of other things. One of the towns people had told him of an ancient tree that was rumored to grant wishes. The story had gained his interest and he asked the towns man to continue. He said that the tree was the oldest in the region and had been planted by some demon god as a gift to his wife. The wife was a kind spirit with a good heart, but the demon god was a wrathful and cruel tyrant. He would abuse his people, working many to death and many others were forced into poverty. The wife pleaded with her husband to stop tormenting the people, but the demon god turned a deaf ear to her. He pleas got to be such a nuisance to him that he had her, his own wife, locked away in the dungeon of his castle. She died only three days later. Grief stricken by the death of his wife, the demon god retreated alone to the top of the mountains outside Kou forest. Some say he is still there and on the day of her death, a ghastly roar can be heard shrieking from somewhere up in the mountains. The people the demon god ruled over took it upon themselves to bury the woman who had tried to sooth their pain. The buried her under that old Oak tree. Now, if you have a wish and a pure heart, go pray to her at that tree. They say that if you are truly worthy, the woman will grant your wish in three days.
It was a brilliant yarn. Truly, it was the most entertaining thing Komichi had ever heard in all his life. A demon god and a human woman in love. One was evil, the other a pure spirit who would try to charge the love of her life. He kills her and flees his memories by retreating to the mountains. Now, the tree under which she is buried grants wishes? Fabulous, absolutely fabulous! Komichi, I don’t need to tell you, didn’t believe a word of it. If anything, someone probably prayed at the Oak shrine and then three day later, by some coincidence, what they prayed for was granted to them. Instead of thinking of it rationally, they thought of the prayer at the tree and thus the tale was born. It was all simple logic to Komichi. Weather or not it was real, he had at least gotten some rather entertaining story.
Anzo was still sprawled out in the field when the stars came into control of the sky. He just sat there, staring up at them trying to figure out what was so special about them. When he would start to get bored, he would use his index finger to connect them and make pictures. It was a perfect night for star gazing. Unusually warm for autumn, not that he was complaining, and not a cloud in sight. All that was in the sky were the starts and the moon. It was perfect. Kyouwa was growing on Anzo. Anzo smiled.
Suddenly, a familiar sound brushed against Anzo’s ears. It was the hissing sound of a falling arrow! Anzo quickly rolled to his left and watched as a well placed arrow dropped out of the sky and stuck in the ground where his head had been only seconds before. He then heard another familiar sound, Rei’s laughter. “That son of a bitch. What the hell was he does he think he’s doing?!” Anzo stood up and looked around for Rei. It was too dark to see much of anything, so Anzo cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted out into the black.
“Yo, Rei! Where are you?!”
“Over here, Anzo.”
From off to his left, Anzo heard the sound of footsteps. Not just one pair of feet, but four or five pairs. Then, out of the pitch black, Rei and four other men stepped up to him. They all wore a smug grin on their faces and slowly got into a circle, trapping Anzo in the middle of them.
“What the hell is going on, Rei?” Anzo asked gruffly.
“Well, I wanted you to meet some of my friends. They’re real big fans of yours.” Rei spoke to Anzo the way a snake speaks to a rat, just like a free meal.
“You and I both know you don’t have any friends.”
Now Anzo knew what Rei was up to. He had sent him to Kyouwa to hide him from the cops. Once the reward went up, he found some bounty hunters to come with him to go collect Anzo and drag him back to Jodo.
“I don’t need friends when I have partners. We’re like on big happy family.”
“You guys must have had some ugly parents.”
Rei smiled and shook his head, “Get all those little comments out now, Anzo, because this will be the last night you’ll be saying anything.”
Anzo knew Rei wasn’t a strong fighter, hence why he had to bring so many men with him for one guy. However, Anzo didn’t know any of the other men that surrounded him. He knew that they all had swords and he assumed that they could all use them. Anzo was confident he’d win this even without some vital knowledge of his enemies. Rei was a brilliant strategist, but he had made one fatal flaw in his master plan; Anzo still had his sword. Anzo was a swordsman. With his sword in his hand he felt invincible and it is true that he loved to use it. His furious and sudden attack would mostly likely unbalance the unknown men, so there was likely to be a hesitation. That was when Anzo figured he could break out of the circle and get the jump on one or two of Rei’s goons. Once out of the circle, disposing of Rei and the remaining men shouldn’t be much of a problem. Anzo smiled and took a deep breath.
“Well, guys, you certainly picked a wonderful night to die.”
With that, Anzo drew his sword and charged to his rear. His assumption was correct. The suddenness of his movements had dislodged the men from a firm footing, Anzo rushed one of the goons. He dragged the blade across the mans throat as he ran passed him out of the circle. One of the goons rushed to aid of dead one.
“He’s dead Rei!” the goon sputtered out in panic.
Now the other goons were afraid. They hadn’t expected a fight. Rei told them Anzo would give up without a fight. Why was he fighting?! All the while, Anzo stood examining the freighted men. “Pathetic, truly pathetic. They look as though they are about to run away right now. These are you bounty hunters, Rei? Pathetic.” Anzo lifted his sword and pointed it at the other men. Blood dripped off the blade and hit the ground silently.
“Okay, who’s next?”
Then remaining goons all looked at one another. The sudden realization that their untimely demise could easily be read from their expressions. Anzo smiled to himself as the goons dropped their swords and fled like scared dogs. Rei stood stunned across from Anzo, that is until he saw Anzo walking toward him, then he too fled for his life. Anzo didn’t bother running after them, but he thought he’d add a few choice words for Rei to chew over on his trip back to Jodo.
“If I ever see you again, I’ll kill you! You hear me, Rei?! I’ll kill you!!”
Anzo listened as his voice echoed out from the field and rolled over the edges of the hills surrounding Kyouwa. He loved it. He imagined his voice as ghost slipping out of town and gliding through the forest, spreading it’s message of death to all corners of the world so that Rei couldn’t escape it no matter where he hid. Slowly, the echo subsided and silence returned to the field. Anzo’s ears were ringing from the lack of sound and, as he lifted his hand to rub his ear, he heard the sound of sticks breaking behind him. He spun around quickly only to be met with a sharp pain shooting through his right ear. In shock, his hands moved up to his head to find the wound rather than to his back to draw his weapon leaving his abdomen wide open to attack. Within another instant, he felt the force of a heavy dropkick land straight on his sternum, the air immediately left his chest. He found himself laying flat on his back looking back up at the stars, dazed and confused.
“Take that, fiend!”
Now Anzo was really confused. That voice sounded female. He struggled to tilt his head forward to try and catch a glimpse of his attacker. Sure enough, there in the moonlight, stood the figure of a young petite woman. She seemed to be in her lower to mid-twenties and had her long hair done up in a bun. Her dress was a wonderful combination of white and gold. Her eyes were the most vibrant color of green Anzo had ever seen and the deepness to them got to Anzo. He was so stunned by her appearance he muttered “Wow” to himself. Suddenly, Anzo didn’t mind getting beat up by a girl.
“Get up. I don’t want to kill a man when he’s down, even if he is murderous scum like you.”
That’s about when Anzo remembered that this mystery woman was trying like hell to kill him. He sighed to himself. It was just going to be one of those nights. Too bad, he really like this girl.
“What the hell are you talking about, lady?” Anzo asked calmly as he slowly rose to his feet.
“Don’t give me that! I saw everything.” The woman looked a little on edge, now, as if she just now realized what she was doing. “You murder that poor traveler. How could you? Those men only wanted directions out of Kou woods!”
“What?! They attacked me!” Anzo said getting a little defensive.
“Oh yeah, I’d like to see you prove that one.” The woman looked smugly at him as though she just caught Anzo in a lie.
“You want proof? Fine, follow me.”
The woman looked confused, but slowly followed Anzo a good four steps behind him. “What kind of a woman is this?” Anzo thought to himself. “What kind of a woman walks around a field at night with throwing knives attacking suspected murderers. This town is full of freaks, I guess.” Anzo had to smile at that last comment. He found it hypocrite of him to call anyone a freak. He had never been the picture of normalcy himself and, in fact, he the plain. He loved the odd and deranged people of the world. In his eyes, those people were really the most normal of anyone. Why try and be something your not? If you don’t like tea, don’t drink it because of tradition. If you don’t like a person, don’t act nice to them to try and be polite. There would be a lot less problems in the world if people would just act naturally. If they just did what felt normal to them. Maybe that was why Anzo was so fascinated by this woman. She looked like a sociably acceptable girl, but what she was doing would be considered a little insane. It was the perfect contradiction of a normal person in a extraordinary situation. Anzo even felt himself enjoying the whole ordeal a little bit. By then, however, they had reached Anzo’s proof.
“Here you go.” Anzo said pointing triumphantly to the arrow Rei had almost beheaded him with. The woman looked up at him confused.
“An arrow in the ground is your proof? What are you, crazy?” Her eyes flared a little bit when Anzo began to laugh.
“No.” Anzo smiled at her. “Let me ask you a question, do I have a bow and quiver?”
“No.” The woman responded in a low and cautious tone.
“Then where do you suppose the arrow came from?”
“One of those men did have a bow… but how do I know you didn’t put it there?” She said fishing for an explanation.
“Why would I do that. Do you think I was laying in the field tonight with a single arrow in my arms just in case I decided to murder someone or in case a strange woman jumped me? What an imagination you must have!” Anzo laughed to himself as he watched his captor blush and put her weapons away.
“Gee, I’m really sorry… um, what is your name?” She looked defeated and, Anzo thought, a little disappointed.
“Anzo. My name is Anzo. I, uh, am a samurai passing through town. What’s your name?” He smiled and extended his hand out to her.
“Ayumie. My father and I run the sushi bar over in town.” She shook his hand politely.
Ayumie didn’t know what to make of Anzo. He certainly didn’t look like a samurai, with his crazy hair and beat up appearance, but he did have the eyes Ayumie always thought samurai should have. They were dark and strong, but shined in the moonlight and gave off a pleasant, protected feeling. She almost felt safe with him. It was as if, through his eyes, he had promised to keep her safe no matter what. She didn’t know why, but she was starting to like Anzo.
“Really? Oh, I love sushi. Haven’t had it in a long time, though.” Anzo said slyly.
“Would you care to join my father and I for dinner then? It is the least I could do after our… um, little misunderstanding.”
Anzo smiled as he saw Ayumie start to blush again. Her eyes avoided making contact with him at all costs, Anzo noticed. It reminded him of how a child looks at a teacher after she gets in trouble. It was cute.
“Would your father mind?”
“Oh, I should think not. He says I need to make friends anyway.” Ayumie’s delicate voice trembled a bit as her response was a little strange. However, Anzo took no notice of it.
“Then lets get going! I’m starved!”
The two were soon casually strolling toward town. Anzo found himself sneaking in quick glances at his new found friend. She really was quite charming and was one of the most beautiful girls Anzo had seen. It wasn’t her looks or charm that got to Anzo, though, it was her voice that made his knees weak. She had the most seductive voice that held inside it a slight quiver giving it a certain innocent quality. It was intoxicating. He thought to ask her if she would sing for him, but he figured that may come off as a bit odd. So, for now, Anzo tried to concentrate on food and the dangers that may lurk in his future, yet he soon fell back into her wonderful trance. He just couldn’t help himself.
Wolf slowly opened his eyes and immediately felt the rain drops falling softly on him. His body ached all over and he doubted he could move at all, but he had survived the fall. He knew that the shadow was long gone, what he didn’t know was how long he had been unconscious or how Bear was doing.
“Bear! Bear are you awake?”
It was no use. The large mass of fur laying in front of Wolf was motionless. The smell of blood was all over him. Wolfs eyes widened and the rain began to fall harder from the heavens.
“Bear… I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
With that Wolf laid his head down in the mud, a broken spirit. Even though they had always fought, Wolf had considered Baer something of a brother. They were both the best of friends and the worst of enemies. It shouldn’t end like this. It can’t end like this. That’s when Wolf remembered what the shadow had said when it passed by Bear.
“Any true warrior, upon feeling a burning sensation, would have headed for water.”
Wolf knew what he had to do. He had to save Bear. Wolf took a deep breath and tried to lift himself up. He lifted his neck up out of the mud and tried to swing his body around to left, but he found he did not have the strength for that. The pain shooting through him was incredible. The white hot flashes he felt in all spots of his body was topped only by the gut wrenching agony of what he thought felt like two broken ribs. He tried again. Starting with the neck, Wolf tried to lift his body onto his feet but this failed even more miserably than his first attempt.
By now, it was raining so hard that the mud he and Bear were laying in was becoming like quicksand. Wolf suddenly found that his entire lower body was covered in mud and that he was sinking, quickly, into the pool. He knew that if he didn’t get out fast, it would be the end of him and bear. Wolf closed his eyes and took one last deep breath before trying his last desperate attempt to escape the mud pit. He looked at Bear and saw how fast the mud was rising around him and he knew it was now or never.
Wolf pulled his neck up and tried to flip himself onto his stomach, but the mud wouldn’t let his lower body turn. Wolf started kicking his feet trying almost to swim in the mud as if it were a pond. His lower body started to flip, slowly turning over with the rest of Wolfs body. Finally, after a few moments of pain and struggle, Wolf was on his stomach. Wolf then stretched his claws out as far as he could and grasped at the trunk of the tree. He sunk his claws deep into the tree’s bark and began to pull himself out of the mud pit. He let out the most horrifying howl the forest had ever known from his pain. He felt as though his entire body was being ripped in half, but he had to save Bear. He just had to. With one final tug, Wolf freed himself from the puddle and used the tree to get onto his feet. He looked at Bear and noticed that his mouth was under the mud, there was no way for him to breath!
Wolf had to work fast. Even though his body ached, Wolf sprinted over to Bear lifted his mouth out of the mud. To his amazement, Bear was breathing!
“BEAR! BEAR GET UP!”
Wolf kept screaming into his ear for him to wake up, but it was useless. The mud was rising fast and Bear was too heavy for Wolf to drag out of it. However, Wolf was a clever beast. He had already thought of a plan. Al he had to do was find something to steady himself with. That’s when he remembered the rock Bear had sat next to just before the shadow appeared. Wolf franticly searched around for it, his eyes finally rested upon the large rock only a few feet from Bear. Wolf could use the rock to climb up on and get a good angled push on Bear. Hopefully the angle would help to distribute the weight and make it possible to push Bear out of the mud. It had to work. As quick as a flash, Wolf rushed over to the left side of Bear. He started by putting his hind legs on the rock and then swiftly placing his front legs on bears side. He then used the remainder of his strength to lift himself into the air between the rock and his trapped friend. Using the sheer determination built up within him, Wolf pushed has hard as he could with his legs on the rock and tried to stretch his arms out as far as they would go. Slowly, the great grizzly began to roll out of his mud pit. Wolf began to show a smile in all the strain written on his face. Bear kept inching to the side. Almost there, almost there. Just a little longer. Wolf bones ached and his muscle almost gave way, but he caught himself. Wolf let out one great yell to try and rally himself. He gave one last hard push off the rock and Bear was finally free of the mud. Wolf immediately collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.
The rain pelted down upon the two living corpses. Wolf couldn’t move a single fiber in his body. He was broken and tiered, but inside he was rejoicing. He had saved himself and his bastard of a friend. He felt a wave of pride flood through him and, through his bruised lips, a large smile rested neatly on his face. His beautiful silver fur glowed from underneath the blankets of mud clinging to him. His brilliant grey eyes sparkled in the rain. For just one moment, Wolf was his younger self again. The proud, determined king of the forest. The strong warrior. He was all those things. They were still inside him after all this time. Just knowing that gave Wolf something he hadn’t had in ages… hope.
His happiness grew when he heard the first faint whispers of Bears voice. It started as a low inaudible rumble from deep in Bears throat, but in a matter of minutes Bear voice could be heard clear as day. It was so wonderful for Wolf to hear his voice that he began to chuckle to himself. “I knew that damn grizzly would be to stubborn to die like that.” Wolfs body may have been destroyed, but his spirit was rejuvenated. It was as if he had unleashed a long forgotten part of him. Like something deep in his soul woke up and took control over his body. It was wonderful.
“Wolf? Are you alive?” Bear asked in a depleted, scratchy voice.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alive.”
“Damn, I have the worst luck.”
“Nice to see your doing well, Bear.” Wolf said this sarcastically, but he really did mean it. Bear was being himself, which meant he was okay. Taking some verbal abuse was better to Wolf than having to listen Bear tell him the grand white light he saw at the end of a tunnel. Besides, Wolf didn’t think he could walk and if Bear was better, maybe he could hitch a ride. Bear was a resilient creature, but Wolf had never seen anything like the shadows power bomb. That fact that Bear had said it burned really confused him. What sort of weapon could cause a burning sensation that would pacify a bear? Even more freighting to Wolf than that was the fact that the powder has caused Bear to bleed. Well, at least that’s what he assumed made Bear bleed. If it was the powder, then maybe some of it was in Bears blood flowing through out his body as they spoke. Maybe it was some type of poison. Wolf started to worry a bit, but what could he do. He figured the faster they found the King of Beasts, the better. They had to find him fast before the shadow was able to escape the animals reach altogether. Wolf didn’t know what he stole, but he knew it had to important for one human to take on a wolf and a bear. That was Wolfs plan: have Bear carry him to the King of Beasts, devise a plan, hunt the shadow down, and retrieve the stolen item. “Simple, yet effective.” Wolf thought calmly to himself. Wolf turned his gaze back over to Bear who was now, remarkably, sitting up and licking his paw. Wolf wondered if he was cleaning the mud off or his wounds. Bears silence almost disturb Wolf. Normally, Bear would be giving Wolf the third degree by now, but he seemed to caught up in his cleaning to notice anything else. Bear hadn’t even asked about the shadow or the tree since regaining consciousness.
“Hey Bear, you alright?” Wolf asked generally concerned.
“Yes. It’s that strange powder… the rain cleaned most of it off, but there is still some on me. It doesn’t burn, but it has turned to something like clay and is sticking to my fur.”
This news intrigued Wolf about the powder even more. It seems that water makes the powder harden and turn to a clay like substance that sticks to a surface. It was then that a shocking revelation hit Wolf like a million arrows. If Bear had jumped into the lake with all the powder on him, the powder would have hardened around Bear’s whole body and most likely made swimming impossible. Bear would have drowned. Yet, the shadow had taunted Bear about not jumping into the lake to put out the burning sensation which brought two things to Wolfs mind. Either the man planned to use the powder on Bear again and was setting him up to jump into water and drown, or the shadow itself had no idea about that aspect of the powder. One way or the other, it was a dangerous situation. There was no time to lose, they had to find the King of Beasts and track down that shadow.
“Bear, we need to find the King. You’ll have to carry me, I can’t bare to move my legs.”
Bear looked back at Wolf with different eyes than Wolf had expected. He thought he was going to see eyes of rage or fire, but instead he was greeted with a calm and concerned face. Bear seemed to be worried about Wolf.
“Are your legs broke? Do you want me to get help or can you manage if I carry you?”
“I think I can manage. Maybe, in a little while I’ll have regained some of my strength.”
Wolf was stunned. Bear was being nice to him. Wolf quickly dismissed the powder having some mental effect on Bear and took his kindness as genuine concern for him. Wolf knew he had a friend now. It was another one of those great feelings he remembered from his past. He had another feeling, though, too. One he was not so thrilled about. It felt like something clenching his stomach and restricting the blood flow through his body. He felt cold and sick, precursors in his mind to something dark looming on the horizon. An evil force had made itself known to he and Bear, it’s odor and aura could still be felt in the surrounding area. He couldn’t be sure if the shadow had really left or if it were just hiding and watching them from the forest. The only thing Wolf knew for sure is that whatever was in the Oak was no myth. No man would fight two wild animals over a myth. Something was being kept a secret from them and he rest of the world. Something, Wolf thought, that was sought after by the most evil creatures and protected by the most divine. “What have we gotten ourselves into?”
Wolfs eyes began to wonder. Bear agreed to carry him on his back until Wolf felt he could walk, by then they hoped to have found the King of Beasts. So, until then Wolf had to wait for Bear to finish cleaning the clayed powder off of himself. As his eyes looked over to the lake, Wolf saw something he hadn’t noticed before. There, laying perfectly in the mud, were numerous foot prints that ran in the same direction that the shadow had escaped in. They led South and appeared to end at the forest entrance, but that was only as far as Wolf could see. This was a great development. Now Wolf knew where the shadow most likely headed: Kyouwa. The town was the only town that resided in Kou Forest. It was directly North of the Oak and was nestled snuggly in a retention pond shaped valley. It was about two tree length’s deep and maybe eight-hundred yards across. There were steep hills that led down each side of the valley, they were easy to go down but difficult to go up. With all the rain the hills were probably impossible to run up now. The town was surrounded by a large sixty foot high wall with only one main gate coming in from the field in front of the town. The town itself was built as far back against the South hill as possible which left a five-hundred foot field to the north of the town. That, Wolf calculated, would most likely become a battlefield in the event military action was deemed necessary. That was the most logical explanation. He had to share it with Bear.
“Bear, listen. I think I may know where the shadow fled to.”
Bear stop cleaning himself and turned to Wolf wide-eyed. “Well, let’s hear it Wolf. Where is it?”
“Kyouwa.” Wolf said in the gravest voice he possessed.
“How did you come to this conclusion?” Bear asked almost laughingly.
“Those footprints by the lake are from our shadowy friend. They are headed South, which is the direction it fled in. The only place it could be going is Kyouwa as it is South of here and it happens to be the only human town in all of Kou Forest. The shadow had to know that if it stayed in the forest, it would be caught. So, as it was human, he would seek his own kind for protection or to buy time.”
Bear was stunned. Wolf really had made a brilliant discovery and, for once, had contributed some kind of help to an important matter. What a day it had been for Bear.
“You are absolutely right! We shall leave for Kyouwa at once. I will tear the town to pieces to get my hands on that shadow!”
Wolf now had an urgent and mystified expression pasted on his face. How could Bear even think of going to destroy a town in this condition. For one thing, they had no proof that the town knows anything about it and for a second, Wolf himself couldn’t move! Bear was in no better condition other than he could sit up. Bear still reeked of blood and was still covered in the clay powder. Yet, here he was suggesting they go and destroy a harmless town for no reason other that a beaten Wolfs hunch. Madness, Wolf thought, utter madness.
“What are you talking about? What happened to finding the King?”
“Ah that was before we knew where that thieving shadow was hiding.” Bears eyes flared evilly. “Now that I know, we shall sack the town, kill the humans and the shadow, then return what he stole to the tree.”
“We don’t even know what it stole! We can’t just kill everyone, they might not have anything to with it!” Wolf pleaded with all his might, but his paralysis made it a futile effort.
“That is what I would expect from a human-lover like you. You stay here, I’m going to round up a search party. I’ll be back once you’ve calmed down a bit.”
With that Bear stood up slowly and began walking to the forest. Bear knew Wolf couldn’t follow, so he thought he’d take advantage by getting enough supporters to go on with his plan without Wolf interfering.
“Bear, damn you, get back here! You can’t just leave me like this Your making a mistake!”
The black tar-like mud had accumulated all over Bears body, sticking stubbornly to his fur. Every step he took, he could feel the caked mud shift around over his back and legs. It was one of the most annoying and uncomfortable burdens that Bear had ever been presented. Well, the mud and the ever present burden of Wolf. Maybe Wolf did save him from the mud, so what? That still didn’t give him the right to defend the thieving humans that put both of them in that situation anyway. If it weren’t for those damn humans, he would still be sleeping peacefully under the Great Oak, but now he was stuck trying to find Owl with about two hindered pounds of mud clinging to him.
It wasn’t like Bear had always hated humans, in fact as a cub Bear had found them to be quiet interesting. He would used to sneak away from the caves and run to the edge of Kou Forest to watch them work in the fields and go about their strange habits. It was all so foreign to Bear. All their tools and rituals, along with their strange fur coats, fascinated Bear. He thought it was a wonderful mystery how they were able to change skin everyday, later finding out that they only changed cloths. All the action and all the chaos of their world dazzled the young bear cub with every passing day. Soon, the young cub had a general obsession with them and became more and more entranced by their peculiar and alien ways. Some nights, he even wished that he had been born a human just so he could be part of that world he loved so much. It was until he saw his first hunting party that Bear truly loved the humans.
It was a gray and overcast spring day when Bear’s love turned to hate. It had rained earlier that morning making the ground soft and silent, perfect for hunting Bear’s favorite meat: Dear. It was tough for a large animal like the bear to creep up quickly and quietly enough to catch a deer normally, but on days like that one any animal could have the stealth and speed of a fox. Bear had been waiting anxiously for his clan to be ready to hunt and, after what seemed like forever, they all set out. They planned to hunt near the edge of Kou Forest, knowing that was were most of the deer had slept the night before. Bear had been thinking that after the hunt he might sneak down to his favorite human watching spot and indulge himself until nightfall. It was going to a be a great day, Bear remembered thinking. Upon reaching the planned hunting spot, something immediately seemed off. A sort of restless aura surrounded them and a peculiar smell filled the air. Deciding to ignore the strange feeling and smell, the bear clan fanned out in all directions and began to hunt. Bear hunted for about two hours and didn’t come across a single deer and by then he was already bored and hungry. The cub decided to go find his father and see if he had caught anything that he could eat. It took Bear only a few moments to find his father along with the remains of the rest of his clan.
Bear remembered the twisted expression on his fathers bloody face. It was one of rage and sorrow, as if he had lost something dear to him… or at least thought he lost something. The cub looked around in shock and disbelief. His whole clan, his whole family was dead! All without any screams or roars. All seemingly without a fight. Bear couldn’t breath, he tried to fight back the cries within his chest, but the burden was just too much. The young bear cub began to weep on his fathers lifeless body. After a long time, the cub stopped crying and tried to look around. He was alone now. Totally alone. What was once his family was now nothing more than sacks of fertilizer. All the little cub had was sadness and the sound of crows cawing in the trees above him. Bear would keep those things with him, buried deep in his soul for the rest of his life. The cub sat looking toward the sky for a very long while, until the sound of snapping twigs interrupted his hell. The young Bear scurried over to a hollow log and hid himself thinking that whatever had killed his family was back to claim the him. He was only half correct. Into view came a pack of adult male humans. For an instant, Bear had felt a strange relief sweep over him. He knew the humans would help him, he just knew it. Humans were kind creatures. Before the cub had a chance to move out from his hiding place, one of the men pulled out a long metallic object that Bear knew was called “a knife”. He watched in horror as the man plunged the knife deep into his fathers stomach! The man then signaled to the other men, who found themselves a dead bear each and repeated the first mans awful process. Now there was no doubt about it, the human had killed Bears family. I will be strong. Bear watched through teary eyes as the men skinned his family members and carted their bodies away for meat. How could the humans betray him like this, the cub thought. He hadn’t done anything. He stayed far away from their world and had certainly done nothing to deserve this. Bears world crashed down around him. All he loved was gone and all that remained was hate and vengeance. Vengeance against something he once loved and wanted to be a part of. He hated the humans. He despised their kind and their world. They were a disease and he was the cure. He would avenge his family if it took him until the end of time to do so. Soon, the sweet young bear cub grew into a cold and hateful Bear. This whole shadow business was the break Bear had been waiting for. It was an excuse to attack the village of the accursed human scum and no foolish Wolf was going to stand in his way. No, he was going to find Owl, gather some troops, and kill every breathing thing in Kyouwa. This was it. “Today…” Bear thought to himself, “Today is the day where it all begins to end.”.
I will not be weak. I will be strong.
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I really admire your effort, but I found it difficult for this story to hold my attention. The beginning was pretty engaging, but I think you jumped into action too quickly, only then to have a large prolipsis into the future. I felt quite lost, first Wolf is a pup, then he is fighting to the the leader of the pack, and then he’s with Bear talking to a tree…it was just vast and a bit overwhelming for the first chapter of a book. It’s always good to start with a bang to try and hook a reader, but it is also important to give the reader a reason to hang around…and I had a hard time finding that reason. I do commend you though, I have not even come this close to a novel, and I can see that you do have a lot ot skill and command over the style, I just hink you need to rearrange how your sequnce of events happens, and maybe slow donw the pace a little. Also, try to include mroe about the characters and the setting. There;s a lot of action here, but the reader fees quite detached from the setting and the characters. It’s hard to put your heart into a story if you don’t really feel compeled to attach yourself to a character. There were not very many errors in grammer or structure, but I didn’t look too hard, I was more interested in how you told your story. I did like at the end how you made the message of not being weak come full cirlce, that provided a vital connection to the beginning to remind the reader of how things started and to reinforce what little we know of the main character. Very nice effort, just needs some more fine tuning.
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