Short Story / Father's Failure Reviesed and Expanded
Father stood over a lifeless and ruined landscape. The memory of his greatest creation’s ruination brought tears to his eyes. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, not this time. Now the planet floats once again as a shattered life force.
Father sat down on a scorched stump and wept.
Gaia came over and put her arm around Father attempting to comfort him.
“Hey… Father you tried your best”
“I know,” he said through his cries.
“You knew they were almost certainly a doomed life form right from the beginning”
“They had the ability to create such beauty”
“What they truly excelled at was killing each other”
“They still had the capacity to build rather than destroy”
“So what are you going to do?”
Father let out a sigh
“Guess I’ll wipe the slate clean and re-build”
“It’s going to be a long road back”
“I know”
She helped him to his feet.
“You know Gaia my single greatest creation was destroyed by my single simplest creation. I’ll always remember them. This was man who ever reached for a higher knowledge. But their only true benefactor of their knowledge was my brother Death.”
Gaia kissed Father on the lips and went back from where she came.
Father started to wipe the landscape clean.
After a time had passed Father could here to the rhythmic approach of a stick hitting the ground and footsteps coming toward him. Father looked up to see his brother Death. Getting up in a rage Father ran toward Death and grabbed him. With tears in his eyes Father screamed “Why! Why did you do this? Why did you allow this to happen” Death pushed his brother away.
“I didn’t do this, it was not by my hand that everything has turned to ruin
Death pointed a finger at Father.
“It was by your doing this happened. The intolerance you had to put in them to make them rise above the beasts was what killed them. You and I both knew that this was going to happen. Not even you are above the law of balance. For every great artist that was intolerant of being mediocre there was a priest intolerant of other beliefs. For every scientist wanting more intolerant of ignorance there was another intolerant of knowledge.
Death paused for a moment
“For every peacemaker intolerant of intolerance there was a warmonger intolerant of tolerance. The law of balance is what undid your creation. Not me, I’m just the final end”
Death put his staff next to a burned tree. He started to wipe the slate clean and soon after Father helped beside him.
THE END
Author’s Note:
This story is a direct inspiration from the father of modern horror H.P. Lovecraft. This story is heavily inspired by the story Memory. I was reading the story and in a flash one dark night this came to me. I enjoyed writing this one. I hope you enjoy reading it.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Excellent idea and a great allegory for God/life and the Devil/death. It’s like the idea of light without dark. The only real criticism I have is that Death’s little speech is a bit hard to follow and perhaps deserves another look and revision. Otherwise, I am a big fan of this particular story.
- add/view comments (0)
I enjoyed this, it was very clever. The only thing I would change is the reference Death makes: ‘For every scientist wanting more intolerant of ignorance there was another intolerant of knowledge.’ I would get rid of the scientist being intolerant of knowlege, that would NEVER happen, combine your first scientist with your priest, it has more impact, religion and science have been at odds for centuries and it makes a lot more sense.
Otherwise an excellent read.
I’m not quite sure what to make of it. I always like stories that play around with mythical beings, but in this case they seems a bit too much like archetypes to really be good characters. It’s also a little heavy handed but than so was Lovecraft in a few of his stories.
That said I would have to assume if the goal was to write a story like Lovecraft’s than I think your most of the way there. The only thing I would caution is that the best of Lovecraft’s stories (i.e. Rats in the Walls) had to deal with the descent into madness. They are interesting because of the human element. But seeing “gods” discuss the fall of man is interesting but not necessarily compelling.
Now all of that said I still think this is a good story. I think if you made the beings a little more flawed, or had them have to do more this could be an interesting story. Anyways just a thought.
Any questions or comments feel free to ask.
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
