I get it all, it all works, even saying a newspaper name like, the Moneysaver Paper put an end to the caper--all I don’t get is how taking re off unite would work. But I agree with all the others-—you are a very thoughtful reviewer! I hope you do see that work in print you want to!
Limericks / A Cat With a Yen
A cat with a yen took a hike
much to his owner’s dislike.
The next day’s newspaper
put an end to the caper
when a free ad let them reunite.
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“let them reunite has too many syllables and trips the reader. The rest of the poem is cute.
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Nice touch of whimsy here and something any pet owner will appreciate. I note a need for a little playing with the words to highlight your wordplay. I’m afraid you’ve slipped from 8 8 5 5 8 to 8 7 7 7 9 which throws off the rhythm. You could make it “new owner’s” in line two to fix that. The third line could use “paper” rather than “newspaper” and “ended the caper” would also be five beats. If you make the last word “unite” instead of “reunite” you have it!
Cute. Defintely good for a laugh. What exactly is a yen though? Does that mean a desire to hike, or does it mean money? When I get the reply, I’m sure I’ll feel dumb, but I had to ask.
I especially liked the endiing “when a free ad let them reunite”.
Who knew limerics could be something other than dirty! : )
Cats should absolutely be allowed to roam freely. People who think we should police them are ridiculous.
The 1st line could use a comma at the end.
Since you repeat the title in the first line, I bet you could come up with something new for the the title.
Anyway, I liked it. I’m glad he got his cat back, but sad that they live in such a fascist society. :) :(
okay, i expect we can dismiss with formality and just ask…dude, what were you on when you wrote this? i give it four points for originality(after all, who has ever heard of a cat with yen?) but i would definitely give us a much clearer idea of what your trying to accomplish with your limerick.
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