Poetry / hidden thoughts

I hear you loud & clear. I’ve been down that dirt road & got bogged in storms too. I was raised & indoctrinated in that blood sacrifice religion too. But I lifted myself out of it many years ago now. I asked a good friend not so long ago what religion he believed in now. This is a very brilliant man with 2 doctorates after his name. He said, “I’m a recovering Catholic.” In his late 50s & he was still trying shake off the shit that was sticking to the walls of his heart. Have you ever considered other possibilities? Have you read about the teachings on ‘emptiness.’ Did you ever see the movie ‘What’s love got to do with it,’ about the life of Tina Turner before she became the that great superstar?  If you haven’t then I suggest you try to find it. If you have watch it again, & again. The answer is it’s all about the mind & how you choose to use it because what you think about is the direction you must go. If you want to know more just send me a message. I’m giving you a 10 becuase I think you write very well.

I really like this. I like the sadness, the depth, and the questioning. I also like how it kind of ties in with Christianity, like even though you’re depressed you have your faith. When I was depressed God was the last thing from my mind, but I like how you keep it. I also like the adjectives you use. Some people tend to get into a rut and they overuse adjectives like depressed and sad and happy. They keep it much too elementary.

But I also think that, as a teenager, a poem like this is cliche. Adults expect teenagers to get this feeling and they expect them to vent about it in a poem to the world. Although I think venting is a good thing and writing is terrific, I tend to think all teenagers are on one wave length and adults expect that too much. It would have been a lot better if it were more surprising, but you made the poem and the subject into your own so I’m good with this.