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Poetry / Cutaneous Larva Migrans*
I can feel you like the nematode
that runs under my skin
leaving track marks
as it goes, those
long meandering red lines
causing me pain. I feel you in
my flesh and want you out,
you worm, so small and fast,
antibiotics don’t do the task.
Like a succubus you have
come to harass me. I cannot sleep.
I cannot eat. I do not hear songs,
my heart does not leap. I am
Pauline in peril. And you,
vicious villain, have me
tied to the tracks awaiting
my fate as you drive that
steam engine full throttle.
I stepped in your manure,
cock of the walk,
and was not immune
to your disease.
- A dermatitis caused by the invasion and migration of larva of parasites in the skin. These larvae usually have their origin from nematodes and rarely from insects.
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jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi there,
For such a vividly painful disease, you seem to paint such a bizarre, wondrous picture here. I can feel the movements under my skin as I read this. You have such a marvelous ability to convey emotion, a poet in the truest sense of the word. Are you free of this dreaded disease now? me…
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Ardriana reviewed Version 1 -
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Wonderful.
Full of rage and sorrow and venom and remorse. Vivid imagery, pointed and blunt. I don’t get a feeling of helplessness, even if the speaker hasn’t yet found the way to rescue herself. The fight in the words tell me that she will.
Well done.
Ardriana
gmemi reviewed Version 1 -
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I find this piece very interesting. The only thing that took me out of the piece was the stepping in manure. However, not enough to make me not like the poem. I wish I could give you some good criticisms, but I like your choice of words, references, and your pace.
GreenIguana reviewed Version 1 -
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I read this poem before but it’s fun to read it again. Are you sure you aren’t talking about some annoying person you can’t get rid of?
lluuiiissaa reviewed Version 1 -
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great imagery, especially the part where she’s tied to the tracks like in old movies
Lenore reviewed Version 1 -
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I always appreciated the parasite symbol, probably because I caught them several times in Turkey. I believe you have an amazing talent of explaining pain in symbolic ways, but I didn’t like the last four lines because I didn’t understand them at all.
Kadence reviewed Version 1 -
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I actually found this poem to be wonderful! I think that the somewhat grotesque imagery, without it being overdone, really adds something to the peom. Also, the style and flow that you have with your words really accentuates the poem, as well as makes it easier and intriquing to read. Both spelling and grammar seem okay as far as I can tell, and the different ways the peom could be taken really make it a fine piece of work. I hope to see more! Well done. <3
Caroline24 reviewed Version 1 -
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Ouch! This reminds me of scabies, which I got once about 40 years ago. This is very good and I have no issues. Everything works. Is this parasite worthy of such poetry? Why not turn this very real malady into a metaphor for something else? Love or addiction, etc.
rsman26 reviewed Version 1 -
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I really liked this piece, I could feel the pain behind it, it really took me out of myself, with some tweaking of the visual imagery I feel you’ll have a truly great piece.
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