Where does nuditiy
begin? So obvious
the end.
Exposed all.
Well lit, dark draped,
linen dry, tub splashed,
misted, wind kissed,
sun slapped, moon
piqued, window gleaned,
fanned, spanked,
raked, prised, given,
planned, tanned,
pale, surprised…
All of that?
Why. Where. What.
Doesn’t matter.
Always and forever
every woman
every man
without
anything
anything!
different than
Eve and/or Adam
before the Big Fall
had had.
But where it starts…
Oh, that can be a cunning plan,
a chilling, cold and calculated
stance
or random, bumbling innocence.
Three kisses. And the fourth?
Stinky.
Scurries it away. Lost. Lost forever.
Start again with
email. Coffe. Letters.
Bowling.
(Bowling?)
Yes! Bowling, damn it!
The real [wonder joy joy sky-jump fright
train-ride still Tuesday with
iPod on random play dynamite
flavors bring inside-out sweatshirt]
beauty of nudity is that
it
must start
somehwere (somewhen, and with
someone(s?))
and you don’t know
[Winnie the Pooh]
when [now?] [if?]
it has.
Or
do
you?
TaleWeaver, the author’s storytelling, writing and creativity book/game, is available at www.lulu.com/awhavens
Blog is at www.TinkerX.com
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Is this about stripping or nudity? Sort of a confusing poem to me. Perhaps it’s about getting laid? I don’t think it’s so obvious nudity begins with the end, what does that mean? You spelled linen wrong. You don’t need the line had had after the Big Fall. What does stinky refer to? And somewhen… someone(s?) You take great liberties but it begins to read like nonsense verse, if i may be so blunt, not meaning to offend but I can’t make heads or tails out it, yet.
For all the obvious reasons, “strip”, “winnie the pooh”, you know I love this poem, it speaks to me in ways it can’t to others.
We never really know if it’s begun, if it’s done, when it’s going to come, but it does…
...i’ve been naked many times…this emperor wears no clothes most of the time…
...it’s come and gone, sometime exposing true ugliness, sometimes true beauty…always truth…
...i suspect it i’m watching someone strip for me again…and when i see her strip for me, lay it all out there despite fear of rejection and judgment and the am-i-too-fat, am-i-too-skinny, am-i-not-perfect fears i see real beauty…even in the flaws, the scars, the tattoos of the soul, because those aren’t flaws at all, those are beauty marks…it’s not the glittered lotions, the lipstick, the acrylic high-heeled monkey shoes…it’s not smoky rooms or dazing confusion of too-loud music and too many shots of booze…it’s all happening in the light of day, streaking through a trailer park of screaming souls and monkeys at keyboards, trying to evolve into humans…and finding nakedness is a beautiful thing.
What I like most about this poem, other than how it speaks to me, is the free form of it all…the stream of conscious, collective conscience reference, the jumping from stone to stone to cross a river to reach the other side. It’s beautiful like that.
Hmmmmmmm, interesting.
I like the way you had a little bit of fun with the parentheses and whatnot, which was awesome.
I also really love the way you list all the things about nakedness. It’s being vulnerable, unable to hide behind anything. It speaks the truth, which I like.
I think at some points it’s a little abstract, so I’d try to clear it up a little. But it’s also about you and how you feel about the subject, so it’s not necessary to change it. I love it!
This piece is intiguing.I did’nt know where it was going, but it took me to the end.
It did’nt ryhme much, but I dont think rhyme was the intention
Interesting work.
welder
This was really interesting. The words you put together were strange and compelling. I didn’t expect it to be the way it was from reading the title, and I really like the formatting of how you write. Excellent piece.
I like your message here. The form of short short lines and long stanzas really fit. Like including Adam and Eve but what does the big fall had had mean?
Love the joy joy sky jump. Not sure how winnie the pooh fits unless you are referring to innocence. Which really fits.
You might think about including the three lines about bowling into the same stanza.
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