it’s on west fourth street right off of broadway. it’s a sidewalk cafe and sit in restaurant and bar and it’s called the Dojo. i think specifically the area is Noho.
Short Story / $4.00 Date at the Dojo
IT’S Friday night, precisely 10:05 pm and I’m on a $4.00 date with myself.
At the Dojo, the $4.00 champagne compliments the $4.00 tiramisu and fills me like a frat boy who quotes Shakespeare while he dry humps you
: it’s all crassly romantic.
THE table to the right of me is also on a date. The girl is heavier by Tribeca standards : she’s at least a size 6 and clearly needs to do more cocaine.
Her date is also a tad plump, making the two a fitting looking pair.
The ugly ducklings are squabbling; the woman pouting while the man goes to pay the bill.
. . . I take another bite of my tiramisu, the generic coffee taste makes me SMILE . . .
AT the bar straight across from me I see a Dot Com’ er on date. You can always spot a Dot Com’er:
he’s the painfully misfitted looking man walking arm interlocked with a bombshell who’s usually about a foot or two taller than him.
His eyes are focused on her bum; her eyes are focused on his wallet: it looks like a pretty even trade.
. . . I lick the rim of my champagne glass, the cool surface gives my tongue pleasure and EXPECTS NOTHING IN RETURN. . .
THE clock behind me reads: a quarter to 11.
My friend Steve is on a date with a Frenchwoman. A movie and then fornication at her place. I think about how he relayed his date plans with the enthusiasm of someone going for his yearly check up (both clinical and expected). For his sake I hope that his lovemaking has a bit more sensation; that it’s something more than three of his grunts to five of her “oh’s”.
. . . I take a sip of my champagne and the liquid makes me feel GIDDY as it slides down my throat. . .
TO the left of me I watch couples passing by on the street. A man walks a step ahead of his date; ignoring her struggling steps due to shoes that she most likely has worn for his visual benefit.
A woman gives her cheek to a kiss and blocks an embrace with her hand.
. . . I taste the lingering aroma of champagne and tiramisu and it makes me APPRECIATE simple $4.00 wonders. . .
IT’S Friday night, precisely 12:05 pm and I’m on a $4.00 date with myself.
At the Dojo, the $4.00 champagne compliments the $4.00 tiramisu and fills me like a frat boy who quotes Shakespeare while he dry humps you
: it’s all crassly romantic AND very much TRUE.
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ALIVEA reviewed Version 1 -
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October 11, 2006
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This is a non-traditional use of punctuation and word flow – but it works. Usually I get lost in this type of prose, but not this time. I wish I knew why the writer was alone.
Some criticism—I think the dot comer description is a bit trite. Also, the word capitalization do nothing for the story. If you have to scream to make your point, then something is wrong with the way you are saying things.
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FoxyChoklatRobot reviewed Version 1 -
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This is actually a very nice peice of narrative journalism. They way you discribe the situtation that you are in , and capture a little slive of time that might otherwise be insignificant.
I also wonder…where is the Dojo…becuase I’ve never been to anywhere in NYC that has 4 dollar anything. I know I shouldn’t be concentrating on that ..but I find it simply amazing.
If you talked about the food more it could be a very interesting food and leisure peice, and if you talked more about yourself and why you are on a date with yourself it might be a good magazine piece.
Rashenbo reviewed Version 1 -
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Hehehe, I’m not quite sure what type of piece this is, but I enjoyed reading it. I liked the comment about the size 6 on the next table. I thought this was humorous.
berzerkkenobi reviewed Version 1 -
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very very good, first thing that i really liked on here. I like the new york feel to it: picturesque and subtle but then you get a whiff of garbage and a rat runs over your foot. Keep up the great work.
Jelissa_Jones reviewed Version 1 -
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This is actaully a great little observation piece. The formatiing throws me off though. For instance capitalizing appreciate. I see that you really want to stress that, but if the word isn’t enough capitalizing it doesn’t help. it simply distracts. Add more words to find a way to stress it. You did a great job on the characters though I’d like to hear a little more about the main character.
thegoldskull reviewed Version 1 -
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I love the observations made. It’s very true and refreshing view on things. I think it was a very good piece. Well done.
One_Man_Band reviewed Version 1 -
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I dont know what the point of that was, it really didnt draw me in.
“The girl is heavier by Tribeca standards : she’s at least a size 6”
what are tribeca standards? explain it, otherwise you confuse me people.
cdnsurfer reviewed Version 1 -
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I enjoyed this piece. Your sharp, dry wit is still intact. Well done. The only comment I have is that I didn’t think it was necessary to repeat the opening at the end. Anyways, thanks for sharing this wonderfully sarcastic vignette with us. Cheers!
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