Yay!! I fianlly pleased you! You have been my toughest critic lol! Made my day!
Haiku/Senryu / Marijuana Moment
Nature’s gift inhaled:
Quiet reflection, Balance;
Worry, pain— exhaled.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Deanne reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
My whole review just went up in smoke when I sent it they said urbis had gone off air for tech work. Lost every word.
I’d have to see what else is going in your poetry book and then really guess , and this haiku alone won’t put yoou in a poetry anthology, as surely you know. Such words were on posters and tee-shirts in 1970. One, I believe a haiku in it’s pure form takes an element of nature and enlarges our perspective on it or the something else it represents. You don’t even mention the sweet smell of sticky bud here, so I guess you are doing the other type.
The cigarette industry is going to protest that their product does the same thing, and the beer guys, and the pharmaceutical interests; and then there’ll be two types of people trying to find your front door: People who need it and can’t find it anymore and cops. I know I coud have been a lot more moved had a j come packaged with it. Hope the book this goes in has in it somewhere the pain we’re causing our sick and dying by refusing them medical maryjane. That will be the poem I clap for.Your sentiment is fine, not new though. Hope to see more work from my “kind”. I think writing that praises a thing is fine but when its sparse like yours it doesn’t help the problem. Writing that makes ilegaliity seem so backwards would be great. The movement still needs to be legalized. Remember, there are people in your community who’d benefit from this poem’s promise that need help. Before it’s you.
DarkWriter0130 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I had to smile at this. It was wonderful and perfect for the title. Bravo!
jungsnkim reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I find this to be a good haiku that is balanced in the theme and writing. I think it is simply stated the beauty that natural herbs, such as marijuana can give a person. The relief that should be universal. I think the title could be a little more obscure since you gave the haiku such essence that it should be deserving of more cunning title. The haiku alone is very solid and I like that it stands alone without repute, breathing alone gives this to use and the use of ganja or bud or whatever other names there are for it just enhances this simple act of life, to breathe with clarity is what I read inbetween the lines.
Abiectio reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
The poem is about getting high; I don’t think I need to say that. But it is related to nature, unlike many other haiku in the Urbis collection. I’m not sure about the punctuation. I might suggest:
Nature’s gift: Inhaled—
Quiet reflection, Balance—
Exhaled—worry, pain.
April 09, 2007
Deleted User
Review of Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Wow. I’d never thought about it that way, but it makes sense. When I used to use pot, it did take the pain away. Very good.
abby_again reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Indeed, indeed. What wonderous bounty Nature does provide. In this case, the worry, pain might be inhaled the next morning. But I’m feeling you right now alright. Well written, effective punctuation and lineation.
metalwayz reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I love it! Marijuana is the best archetype in my mind and I do believe you pulled it off. As a marijuana smoker I would love to read more written by you and that’s why this is superb!
NHSbulDawg09 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
LoL. This is one of those Haikus that you just have to love. It’s still simple yet with a deep thought message wraped up inside. I love how you have that begining where you inhale it, a middle when the effects start, and an end with that it dose to your body! I like this one =)
Idrequired reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Natures gift inhaled – I like ho w this could be many different things in nature. Inhaling the fragrance of flowers, ocean or the damp woods in mountains.
Inhaling and exhaling used as first and last words to make the haiku complete. The poem is fun and very modern, yet keeping the tradition of the haiku format.. I love the message you have sent out.
Showing 1 - 10 of 28
Next →
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
28 Reviews 15 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: over 2 years ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
