Poetry / I READ Y.O.U
I read you; I read it out loud for all to hear
Pages of tragic tears, fears for those you hold dear
Thoughts that were whispered into your perceptive ears
All there on those pages
I read you
Pages 1-40 of your life, only close to the end did hope reappear
I read it aloud for all to hear
Of how one’s life is lived when you let people in
Mostly full pain but every other page the sun shined in for seconds
As I read aloud the harmonious phrases and poetic context streamed out of my mouth
As I moved to the sounds of your experiences
And paced to your dreams I felt something
I felt the rhythm of your life with every word
With every letter that formed a word
I confessed my love
And every time you read those pages
Those pages you wrote
You’ll hear my voice with all that is in my soul
Say I Love You
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
ohhhh this is so sweet every one should find someone who loves them this much
- add/view comments (1)
Wow…that was really good. I liked it.
it flowed really well and the format was perfect. i loved your choice of words, too, because they formed such a great description of what was going on.
overall, it was great.
boring. good concept, work it into something more fun to read and exciting. i feel like i found this on an old shelf because somebody read the first line 40 years ago and stuck it there and didn’t pick it up for 40 years because it was so boring. i like the flow of it, but the content not so much
What a beautiful poem and a great way of saying you understand and care. There’s a minor typo in line 3 (were) but apart from that the poem is poignant and evocative.
“I read you”
I appreciate the theme of this piece immensely. It’s sentiment is the essence of good writing…revelation and connection, intimacy.
The rhyme mode (hear, dear, ear), which usually chafes my sensibilities, was barely an itch for me here.
I did find the redundancy of “word” as the last word in lines 13 and 14 less palatable.
On a grammatic note, “[T]houghts that ‘where’”...I think should be “were”.
Generally a nice sentiment was evoked by your words that I think most who labor at writing the poetry of personal experience can understand and appreciate.
This piece was a very good beginning. The only thing I might change is that you started out by using rhyme and left that off as you continued along. Some of the words you used in this rhyme section were a little redundant. I think you ended 2 lines with the word “hear.” Overall, I found this to be a very touching piece. Good work!
Showing 1 - 6 of 6
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
