Poetry / Parable

Beautiful! It kind reveals the facts of a code of silence that has been forced. Forced by only you.

When you confess to something is it needed, or just wanted?  Interesting question. The wording was a bit confusing to me at first, but other than that, I think I think it works.  Very to the point. I like it.

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November 08, 2005

by jNIM

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PoeticRevelations:
the title “confession” is reffering to the fact that far too often we want the things we do not need and usually need the things we do not want. but perhaps you’r right, it’s not obvious enough for the herd… so i’ve changed it to “Parable”. then, i hope, we can all stop our own inner chatter and take a moment to try and take away with us a sincere messege of “growing up”...

November 08, 2005

by jNIM

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TattooAnkh:
dude, you had me rolling!

so, just for you, here is the latest revision, we’ll call it “The truth Version”:

“often you thought
more often than not
it’s not what you need
but something you bought”

BWAAHAHAHAHAHA

November 08, 2005

by jNIM

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logey:
you’ve never read Dr. Suess have you…

you’d be amazed what he can do with four lines… ;P

November 08, 2005

by jNIM

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Raven:
Amen. Need and Want stand on opposite shores and far too often we find ourselves marooned on the wrong sandy beaches. i say “Marooned” becuase if we were truely guiding our ships then we would find ourselves conquering the land of necessity…

November 08, 2005

by jNIM

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nifer:

    ...I love you…

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This is so true….We always want what we can not have….And its human nature to say that you need something when you really just want it in your life

It’s amazing that you managed to be redundant within four lines.

You use the word “often” twice – the first two lines establish the same thing.

When you are sparse of language you have to make every word mean something to convey any meaning at all.

This left me frustrated.

Man, I really wanted the last line to be “but something you bought.”  :-P  What do you think of that?

Short and sweet and to the point…I liked it.

It has a circular feel; as if it would simply loop forever.  It is, I think a bit subtle, as I reread it, the underlying truth crept out into my thoughts.
peace,
slm

Is this about someone who wants to confess or needs to, because otherwise I don’t see the connection between the title and the poem itself?

What is the point? There is absolutely nothing here that a reader can take away … especially based on the title, “Confession.” Where is the confession? Better yet, What is the confession?

Clever little piece there…it reminds me of something that would have been a “saying” back in my grandparent’s “day”.  I think it should be the beginning of someting we tell to our children, like “it’s not getting what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got” from Sheryl Crow’s song.

Anti-Catholic children’s poetry, it seems to be. Clever and disturbing all at once.  I could have a guess at the author but I’ll wait to be surprised.