Poetry / My Addiction

I just quit smoking three weeks ago so I can totally relate to this metaphorical poem. It is well written, though I’m not sure about the word “subsistence.” That implies, barely surviving. If that’s what you wanted to portray then it works, otherwise, why not use “existence?”

I really like the ending, in which you turn it around and let the reader know how much you like being addicted to this toxic person – so much that you hope she’ll become addicted to you.

As a woman, you have hit directly on the head what I have felt intensely on a few occasions (that counted). I love that you relate it to something physical that you also love but are addicted to (one of the most addicting substances in the world). Keep writing and keep posting!

Not only can I relate to this, but it was beautifully written, too.  You stick close to the cigarette metaphor without overdoing it.  
Very, very, nice!
Keep up the good work!

Somehow, this did not glue with me. Maybe because I don’t smoke, but I just cannot feel the parallel natures of people vs. nicotine addiction.

What I liked: “flaws and perfection”, I htink for a theme like this you could work more with contradictions and counterpoints like this one.

Watch out for typos and punctuation! This might also benefit from putting it on separate lines to give it rhythm.

Extra comma between me and tempting

But I love the metaphorical imagery of this passage to a cigarette.

Wow, the ending of this piece really makes the paragraph.  It’s not a long work, but I could see it for the beginning or prologue of a longer work, novel or short story, or even the introduction to a movie.  An addiction would be truely satisfying if the subtance also became addicted to you..or would the take away the joy? um, something to maybe explore if you ever want to length or continue the piece.  Keep writing, it’s powerful.