Poetry / unfurled

The best part of the poem were the last two lines:

“we’re revealed to ourselves
and to ourselves we are revealed..”

There is great truth in that statement. But in all honesty you need to clean the poem up. You need capitalization at the beginning of the lines as well as making sure that “i” is always “I”. Otherwise the poem looks sloppy.

In the begining it’s hard to say where this poem is going, but I love how it goes from seemingly being sad to a sudden burst of happiness. I really like how you ended it, though. The only problem I really have with this poem is the punctuation, or lack there of. Usually I see the problem of too much punctuation in poems, but this one just doesn’t have enough. But, all in all, I really like this poem. It’s simple, yet complicated.

this is a nice little poem.  I would encourage you to take out the connectors (words like “and”, especially when they start lines) which are unnecessary, especially in a poem this breif.