Poetry / Untitled
My mind is tired from dreaming
It needs a break
Want to switch it off
Recharge
Sick of the taste of this big city air
Wish I could share yours
Clear my sinuses
Breathe
Pictures don’t do it anymore
They all feel the same
Don’t kiss back
Pointless
Sick of the cold sweats
Empty bed
Huddled mass of poisoned thoughts
Deadly
Bullshit words with their airs and graces
But who reads them?
Lose all meaning
Failure
Flaunt your bad decisions
Give me an excuse
Empower me
Impossible
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I think it could keep going like this for a lot longer, you dont need to think about writing a final stanza, just keep going with the feeling, see where it takes you, you could find that what you might have thought was final at one point is actually more of a climax. I like the way you write, I think one word is a good ending for a poem, or just a few words. Sometimes I think that the best way to say things is with as few words as possible.
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This filled me with an feeling of despair and lonliness. I guess that was the point. I like the whole thing about pictures not kissing back, and sick of the city air and wishing to share yours. Those are great images. Otherwise, a great poem.
Great form with the repetition of the last one-word line from each stanza—this really halps to emphasis that particular emotion/though
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