Poetry / Band Practice
six young men hitting it hard
in the dark building behind the yard
the train tracks are bare
can’t
stare down there
open the door to creation
and you’ll seek your elevation
can you hear the train destination?
can’t
too much aggravation
the genius, the joker, the poet, the actor
in the dark building behind the yard
the stoner and the loner, the ultimate learner
can’t
quite teach them further
the vocals, the bass, the guitar and the pace
in the dark building behind the yard
six young men hitting it hard
can’t
quite place the order
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
June 03, 2006
Deleted User
This 135 word review has not been unlocked.
I have to quote you:
“the genius, the joker, the poet, the actor
in the dark building behind the yard
the stoner and the loner, the ultimate learner
can’t
quite teach them further”
That stanza sums up the whole imagery very well.
I liked the way the poem flowed and the overall image created by it.
Thank you for sharing.
- add/view comments (0)
Nice and with good pace. You hint at more depth but leave it un explored (was that intentional?)
Nice Imagery but I think you could explore it more (IMO).
Keep up the good work though.
The genius, the joker, the poet and the actor.
The stoner and the loner.
Sweet man. Dig your stuff. Keep writing. I dig it.
Showing 1 - 4 of 4
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
