Poetry / Familiar

With promise,
she grants you a moment.
With intent,
a teasing delight.
You struggle at keeping her separate,
trusting lust is confusing the fight.

Here eyes,
caverns to lure you,
Her face,
a canvas you search,
Look hard for the reason she stirs you,
fleeing the feelings unearthed.

You search her for something familiar,
Forbidding the ardor to grow,
Tracing hope,
Chasing a glimmer,
while touching two halves of a soul.

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Reviews

May 08, 2006

kosen

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
16	0.0% (0 votes)	34.4%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22			January 13

kosen reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Let me just say True That
But on a more intellectual note, I’m taking this as a recountance of someone who you couldn’t/shouldn’t be with but yet is still absolutley magnetic to you, pulls you in, wether or not she means to. Hopefully I’ve got that interpretation reasonably accurate.

With that caveat in place, great piece of work. I really feel like your getting some meaning across and though it is something that is probably a common emotional tribulation, it’s not this standard “you don’t love me’ or ’ the world is so terrible and hollow blablabla’ this feels much more original and meaningful than that./

As well it flows nicely without having to rhyme every other line and fiting into that overused pattern so many people use, something thats not always easy to do without sacrificing some meaning for the sake of vocabulary that flows.