Some lines found in a C.D. case. Whose words?
I saw a man crying
as he walked down the street
He wiped the tears away
with his fist and opened
his hand in a waving motion
mine:
he washed a fresh, wet rain of love
across the sky
through the air
and into my mind.
His trembling, thunderous actions
his instinctual rocking motion
His unintentional expulsion
of emotion
pain, despair, love
filled my every void
giving me confidence where I had none.
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Great read. I am sorry I have never seen anything like that.
I think this needs to be a little longer to justify almost half of it being another’s work, but it is moving and lyrically sound. I would like to see this either longer, or for you to re-write the beginning so it is only inspired by and not a continuation of. This is good though. I do question why the actions give you confidence… is that the word you truly intended?
This is beautiful, but belongs in poetry, in my opinion. Your grammar has a few mistakes:
He
sky,
air,
actions,
instinctual, rocking motion,
no cap on His
emotion:
void,
Other than that (and crediting the author:) – wonderful.
Very well written. Sorry I don’t know the author. I loved how you envoked how passionately music can affect us. Thanks for sharing.
That is beautiful. Every word describing his feelings, actions, I’m not sure how to put my words together to describe what I’m feeling. It is brilliant. Amazing. It makes me, too, want to know who wrote that. Thank you.
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