Poetry / Advice To A Five-Year Old

LOL!  This is a very witty poem reflecting the innocence, creativity and often foolishness of being a child.  Well done
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This is absolutely hilarious! I love the whole poem! So many of these things… I’ve never done! Lol! Great poem.

  I really like this. It made me laugh. I think I will read it to my kids so maybe they will know better than I did. That wax fruit was never any good!!

Lol..that’s cute. I have children and I find that my children do a lot of those things. It’s humorous and creative, and I don’t know what you’d considered it, but I’d just leave it at poem for the convenience.

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July 23, 2006

by juststeve

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39	M	Charlotte, NC	August 02

Really?  Your kids do these things?  I feel for you.

Glad you enjoyed it.  I switched it to the poem category.

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This piece definately struck me as a poem and I read it as such. Maybe there were some technical things that could be changed but that is not for me to decide – The humour you injected into it was superb. I liked the way I interpreted it, how it was a reflection of the past with regrets in a childlike manner(that sense of fun) – Hope I make sense here! -  but then the end brought me a feeling that kids today, know too much for their own good! Humourous

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July 06, 2006

by juststeve

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I suppose you are right about it being a poem.  Others have suggested that, too.  I suppose I will change the category to reflect that.

I remember encountering a lot of sarcastic humor in kid’s books and programming going back to my childhood.  I don’t know if you’ve heard of or seen the 1960’s kid’s television show, “Rocky and Bullwinkle”.  This particular program was a great example of that:  

Rocky: Hey Bullwinkle, we’re in real trouble now!
Bullwinkle: Oh good, Rocky! I hate that artificial kind!

And so on.

Glad you liked my advice.

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This all sounds like the sort of thing the people in my class have tried (especially instigating a “Revolucion!”).   The funny thing is, we’re 17 and 18!
Anyways, I love this piece, although I can’t see any five-year-olds actually taking the advice into consideration.  You should make a series out of this, with advice for everyone from age 1 to whenever you think you would want to stop.  That would be interesting to see.

This is so very funny!!!  Are any of these from personal experience?  I think the “were” at the beginning should be “was.”  Were is a plural form, was is singular.  ”I” is singular, so I think it should be “If I was still . . .”  Hope that’s of help!  Again, very nice!

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July 04, 2006

by juststeve

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Thanks for the plural/singular reminder.  I will make the change.

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This was really cute and funny. It really is some good advice. I really liked the part about trading your brother to the gypsies for a violin and having mom make you practice it. How funny! I also liked the crack about the Air Force and UFOs. I think this would be an interesting element that could fit nicely in a children’s and/or parent’s book somewhere. I really enjoyed reading this, and it brought a smile to my face. Great job!

I think it’s more like poetry then a story. Stories have a plot. Or maybe this was quotes. Either way, it was a good piece, but I was expecting a story. Over all, it was good.

This is cute and brings back some great memories of my own childhood. I was laughing by the time I got to  the last one – makes me think my brother would have done that  had aliens been big back when I was a kid.  Good job :-)