Non-fiction / A secret.

That could become a novel and as you know all the statements would become headlines and would become alive with the interaction between characters.
I would not leave it as it is because , put like that, it is too much for the mind to absorb.

What to say here?  I like the “between the lines” idea.  It’s harder to critique someones personal feelings.  I certainly can’t say how you should express yourself.  That’s the idea behide writing.  Expressing yourself.  You sent your message.

I really like where you are going with this.  If you do make it longer i would suggest organizing it into the secrets of various people, because as it stands it is sort of disorganized amalgamation of random secrets, some that seem to relate to one another.  Also, I would diversify the secrets you use. You are very focused on the secrets about the love someone has for a particular man.  
I suggest you check out postsecret.blogspot.com—its right up your ally and really interesting.  

A string of white static sentence merged radio dial changing conversations you seem to be tapped into here.  This could be one of those all star cast movies that they do for artsy fun with a million side stories that somehow tie together like a butterfly flapping its wings.  You should play with some of the sentences, meanings, pyschology of these stated items and see what you come up with, it’d be an interesting project.

I really like this style. It’s refreshing to see something new, that hasn’t been done before. I feel like I’m peaking in on someone’s journal and perhaps they’re not even being honest with themselves by crossing lines out. The ironic thing is, they’re free to express themselves openly in a private journal that no one’s suppose to be able to see, yet they continue to lie to themselves, held captive in their own mind. It shows how emotional scars can hurt more and go deeper than physical ones.

This is a strange approach to blogging, but it is not really writing as I understand writing. This seems to be a list of disjointed, and apparently unrelated thoughts. Sometimes I will find a corelation between one line and another, but they are several lines removed from one another, and often one will be crossed out while the other is not. In other words, this is just words to me; while I understand the meaning of the words, I cannot find a meaning for the piece.

One thing you could do is find all the lines that relate to each other, for instance all the lines about “him”, and either cross them all out, or leave them all open. Find a reason for crossing out some and not others. If you can not make that reason fairly obvious in your writing, put your reason in a short paragraph or sentence at the beginning or even at the end so your readers can see the beauty you see. I guess you expect us to understand your thinking in the way you have constructed this, but I don’t.

This also seems to me more like free verse poetry than nonfiction. Organize your thoughts so it means something to your reader, hopefully what it means to you.

hi,

interesting idea. actually each sentence could evolve into a separate work! or you could incorporate into a novel, like you mentioned.

after reading each line i was struck, with a feeling of these ppl’s depression. perhaps something along the same vein, in which you find the positive in your/their thoughts.
just a suggestion.

peace,
solange~

very sad girl, reading these glimpses into people lives makes life more rewarding. I do hope you feel better about yourself.

I’m sorry, this one didn’t hold my interest. Without some sort of structure, it’s just a list of a stranger. Maybe if you could put in some background info about the person making the list, it might give me a reason to care enough to read on.

I mean, I realize the content within the list is intensely personal and reveiling; but it’s kind of like when you’re flicking through tv channels. When the channel showing the people starving in Africa comes up, you feel bad, but you keep on clicking anyway. Whereas when you see those same starving Africans on the Oprah show, learn their names and experience them an a personal basis—it changes everything.

Does that make sense? Hope so! Don’t give up, keep working on it!