Poetry / Always Seem to Feel. Write.

We always seem to write
when we’re lonely in our heart.
when our love has broke apart.
when a new love finds our heart.

Why doesn’t it feel right
to write when we’re together?
to write about the weather?
to write when we feel better?

We always seem to write
when there’s something left unspoken.
when our hold on life is broken.
when we can’t be very open.

Why doesn’t it feel right
to write about just living?
to write about forgiving?
to write when life’s worth living?

We always seem to write
what someone else is feeling.
when our heart just isn’t healing.
what some might find revealing.

Why doesn’t it feel right
to write when nothing changes?
to write of perfect strangers?
to write without some anger?

I always seem to write
but I’m learning how to read.
but I’m learning what you need.
but I know you’re here with me.

It’s starting to feel right
to write at any time.
to know I’m on your mind.
to know you could be mine.

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Jodiya avatar General Friend

December 22, 2006

Jodiya

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Jodiya reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I like the flow of this piece and the honesty is felt…we always write when we love, hurt or angry with the world. Always it feels right to write on any occasion, well that works for me. Everyone is different of course. Thanks for sharing.

dpc avatar General Friend

June 21, 2006

dpc

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dpc reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I completely agree with your statements in this well-developed poem.  I can never seem to write when I’m happy – only when I’m lonely, depressed, or just tired.  It’s odd.  I talked about it once to my creative writing teacher, she said it’s a funk many people have and you should just go with it…so I wouldn’t worry.

:)

WitchyLady avatar General Friend

June 04, 2006

WitchyLady

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WitchyLady reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

When I saw this poem I immediately knew I had foudn a somewhat kindred soul. Your first stanza really leaped out at me…

“We always seem to write
when we’re lonely in our heart.
when our love has broke apart.
when a new love finds our heart”

That is exactly why I write as well.
I really have no complaints about the poem excpet to me I always try and capitalize the first letter of every line…it just looks neater to me that way. Some helpful criticism I hope.

miss_mandy avatar General Stranger

March 28, 2006

miss_mandy

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miss_mandy reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

The first stanza of your poem pulled me in because I always wonder myself why I seem to only be able to write during a crisis, or depression or when I hit a crossroads in my life.  The only critique I have is that when rhyming I try to stay away from using the same sentence ending word in the same stanza…..I think it flows and is more interesting that way.  You lost me a bit at the end..the second last stanza in particular…and the last stanza was nice, but didn’t pull all of your previous ones together…I think a stronger finish would even it out..Good Job!

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Bendo13 avatar

Bendo13

Age: 26
Loc: Lock Haven, PA
Gen: M
Last Login: November 03
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