Lyrics / The Karmic Wheel

Picture the world as just space
particles moving through time
cannot remember your shape or your face
when we last slept in eachother’s arms

Ohm

If Karma is guiding our fate
than this is the way that we do
over and over we live out the moment
where one life was mended from two

Ohm

Picture the world as a wheel
resist all urges to steer
there is no consequence
love is just happenstance
no matter what world we appear

Ohm

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cooljim102055 avatar General Stranger

March 12, 2008

cooljim102055

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cooljim102055 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

hi there,

yes, the world seems to move that way and alot of people believe in karma,(LIKE ME)....:)..nice idea, if anything i would develop it more, good luck, jim

nelson1 avatar General Stranger

September 02, 2007

nelson1

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nelson1 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

It is strange how love just happens no matter where we are or how people just bond.

Stanza one could use a little work as it seems a little disjointed, “cannot remember your shape or your face, I think maybe “I cannot remember the shape of your face or when.

also each other is two separate words.

other than the above i think this has potential to be a good poem

fred_kane avatar General Stranger

August 18, 2006

fred_kane

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fred_kane reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

The title placed me in George Harrison mode.  I heard this in my head being played out with sitar and percussion that is associated with Indian meditation music.  Just to knit pick:  You got a couple of mispelled words (they say the beast riters are the worst spelirs):
“eachother’s”  should be two words.
“than”- should be: then

And I believe the last line could be refrased:
“no matter what world we appear”

perhaps: “no matter on what world we appear”

Other than that, Great job.

Deleted User avatar

March 16, 2006

Deleted User

Review of Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Nice start.  This is a cute little song; I like the little “Ohm” in between the verses.  I think the last line of hte first stanza would sound better as “From when I last slept in your arms.”  The line “Love is just happenstance” confuses me; I’m not entirely sure what it means.  I also think you should repeat the second stanza at the end of the third, making it the chorus and thus in the structure of a typical set of lyrics.  

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sleepingcat75 avatar

sleepingcat75

Age: 34
Loc: Staten Island, NY
Gen: M
Last Login: April 15
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