Poetry / I-24
from ugliness comes beauty
from destruction we are one
from pain we will find strength
from death it’s just begun
it’s the rainbow after the storm
it’s the smile from the tears
it’s the butterfly from the worm
it’s the calm after the fear
when things are at their worst
when no light is shining through
when the world is turning upside-down
i’ll be there with you
and when i find i’m lost
and when the path becomes unclear
and when i need love’s touch
touch me, so i’ll know you’re near
your memory is strong
it’s thriving deep inside of me
and here i lay you down to rest
with my love to keep you company
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I think your works is strong and I always am attracted to the layout. I do have a few general suggestions for this work and for most of your work in general. One of the great pieces of advice one of my poet mentors gave me was to always include “things� in the poem, to keep there reader attached to the piece. This person called them blue buicks – these things are very specific items such as a piece of furniture, a type of tree. If you remove a lot of the generalizations from this piece (butterfly – maybe use a type, rainbow, pain, death, smile). Adding some of these could really turn the piece around.
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