Poetry / Waiting

the rhyme scheme flows very smoothly allowing the reader to the appreciate the poem as the words just rattle off your tongue ringing clearly in ones mind the sentiment the author is trying to express.

this love poem is straight forward in its content.

love poems are great becuase in all our lives, we are able to appreciate difficult times in our downs and then striving for the good times that we patiently wait for.

I like this poem.

I relly like this one! It shows your heart. I’ve been here beofore in my life. You are a great writer!

Short but sweet. Conveys the message it’s meant to. I really like the last two lines
“You never know
I may be the one”
That’s the thing about love isn’t it? You never do know. Nice job.

i like the last stanza the best… the poem in its entirety is obviously a little bubbly/cliche/rhyme-like… but for some reason or anouther it works for me. The format is fitting for the lighty airy delivery of the subject matter… i think i like it most because i can completely relate to your description. :D good luck with the situation it describes! :D

Sort of cliche, run of the mill rhyme/word choice.  

I know how you feel.  It is a rare gift when a person can write a poem about love and make others understand what you mean.  Very few people can actualy take words and make them into their feelings.  You can fall in love with a person but never make that person fall in love with you.  So good job and I hope to read more poems by you.  Get a look at some of my poems when you get a chance and just tell me what you think.

This is interesting and a bit cliche, but who am i to say what a poem is.  I am learning that in poetry class, there needs to be more showing and less telling.  I think this poem has a great foundation,  I would to know how your love interest makes you feel, not just in plane words.  The reader wants to feel your poem, not just read it.

your rhythm and rhyme are good and consistent, although some of the rhymes are a little predictable. i do like the internal rhyme that occurs in the second line of the second verse.
for me, however, this poem fails to convey the dire emotions experienced whilst waiting for something you want. i’d like to know exactly what you’re feeling as you wait for a phone call from this obviously special person. do you feel like a ticking time bomb, about to go off? or a baby bird who wants to take off from the nest, but can’t because it doesn’t know how to fly? obviously, these are just examples, but simile and metaphor are a good way to bring across your impatience, frustration, nervousness, etc.
furthermore, i’d like to know more about the person for whom you’re putting yourself through this torture. what makes them special and worth waiting for? do you admire their smile, are they witty and fun, caring? romantic? how does being with them make you feel? adding little details about the one you love makes the poem feel more personal and adds to its impact.

I like it. It’s very simple, very direct.

Although rhyming sometimes makes a poem stick out and easier to remember, it is much easier to express your thoughts without limiting your language.

I think you should try writing in prose, see what you come up with when no form is involved.

It is a simple read that is easy to follow. Short and sweet, yet it has that emotion that the reader can feel as they read along. I also loved the last part of the poem very catchy.
“Take my hand,
And Together we’ll run
You never know
I may be the one”.