Don’t forget that writings are momentary glimpses into just a few thoughts that rush through someone’s head.
I travel, a lot. For a living actually. This is just how I sometimes feel. It’s def. not an all the time thing. Thanks for the review.
Non-fiction / "Writings at work" only not written at work.
I want a van with a bed and a shelf full of books, full of poetry & prose, full of journals and empty lonely paper aching for long embraces with tired, aging pens, anxious to be filled with wiry marks, dashes, lines, dots, needing to be filled with my emotions, desiring to inscribe my thoughts, see my visions, feel my life & love.
I ache for a partner, anxious for solitude but welcoming another soul’s companionship. I want someone to drive with, silently sitting, our only communication a finger point, a head nod, maybe an eyeshot forward with a muttered, “Look.” I want to drive and ride down long lonely country roads, to see majestic mountains, feel cool autumn air, hear rattling wildlife, taste the salt air beneath the fresh costal mountain clouds, all the while writing long entries of immense thoughts or scribbling misinterpretations, mis-memories of what I see, or a sound or a feeling that triggers a memory.
I want someone to ride silently along, beside me, someone who seeks his gain just as selfishly as I seek mine. I want another disembodied soul looking for its self, willing to be alone but accompanied. I want to fill pages with prose while resting on random empty highway shoulders, to dash quick lines of scrambled words at country yield signs. I want to share this with another soul while simultaneously experiencing a personal & highly solitary journey.
I want to bathe in muddy brown Californian rivers, eat in Ma’s Kitchen in small town Illinois, I want to sleep in my van, relax & stretch on the brittle dry desert ground while lines of angry red ants march towards my massive frame. I want to hang upside down from large, ancient white oak trees, lose myself in golden yellow and grassy green cornfields and watch chocolate elk graze on vibrant green Yellowstone grasses. I want to see the sun rise in the Grand Canyon, ride a red steamer across lake Erie, catch a small steal tug up the Mississippi, drip hot sweat in the blistering June Louisiana sun. I want a cleansed body donned only in a once white, now brown shirt with loose, stiffened from dirt, ripped jeans cut off below the knee. I want to wear bedroom slippers in Arizona deserts..
I want to walk around Cisco, catch a San Fran trolley or train north, then south again. I want to visit a friend of a friend and share the friend we both know. I want to learn that friend in ways I never imagined possible.
I want to visit Nevada mom Cindy who slaves away to earn her wage down a lost Nevada lane. I want to climb over a brick fence in Salt Lake City and sleep through long late night bus rides through dark Texas deserts.
I want to walk, to ride, to run across, to jog up then down, and through this united land. I want to introduce a young Idaho farm girl to the East Coast me. I want to find Alex on a street corner in Queens and not leave him for thirty days.
Every time I begin reading “On The Road” the magic lures me, entices my emotions; what I miss resurfaces. Kerouac revives my suppressed self, gives breath to my apnic existence. The magic of his words disables my ability to put off the needs of my soul.
I need to get out; I need to travel; I need to feel this freedom.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
June 20, 2006
Deleted User
Review of Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This piece sounds pretty good, although I think the next to last paragraph (Every time I begin reading “On The Road�? the magic lures me, entices my emotions; what I miss resurfaces. Kerouac revives my suppressed self, gives breath to my apnic existence. The magic of his words disables my ability to put off the needs of my soul.) really does not fit in with the rest of the piece. It sounds too disjointed. The last sentence is definitely a great way to end it, though.
The title doesn’t really seem to fit, either, but I know titles can be rather difficult to come up with, too.
I’d be curious to see how this piece would work if you actually gave it a setting, rather than having just a thoroughfare of thoughts. But, I’m not sure if that would improve it or not. You’d have to try and see if you wanted, I suppose.
Good luck.
- add/view comments (1)
sherij9429 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Outstanding!
I feel like I just read a list of things I need to do now too!
You have captured the essence of “being”.
I really enjoyed the language and the visuals that you offered to the reader. I feel like I have just traveled the country!
Really loved this piece!
keep writing!
sheri
quatrafoil reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This piece sounds like the worst case of wander lust I have ever heard of.I hope you finely make it on the road, I don’t think your too happy in your current situation. At least that’s what I gather from your work.
You are very descriptive of the surroundings that your yerning for but be careful that you don’t go overbard with it an give the reader an information over load.
Most experiances are enjoyed more if they are shared with another which is stated perfectly in your piece. Perhaps a physical descrition of the kind of travling partner your looking for would help the reader gain some insight as to what both of you would look like journeying across the country.
Over all it’s a marvelous work…Good job.
Eldi reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
You know, me and a friend of mine both had this urge to just leave at one point in time. She was born in a country that no longer exists, moved to russia at 2, California at 5, Oregon at 6 or 7. Me, I bounced from house to house as a child. I think our parents implement this idea that we need to move, get away from things and start over. I find myself wishing i could just call someone from the other side of the country and crash in their basement.
Recreate myself the same as I am but happier, away from here. I think maybe I’ll never be happy anywhere.
Why am I telling you this? To let you know that you arent alone in this feeling, wanting to get away and escape.
As far as rating the writing is concerned, I think you did a good job, solid word usage and a great idea of the world around you. You really feel locked in this small world and you want to be the person in the van living alone with you. wanting to share but not have to worry about how your choice effect someone and wanting to be yourself, to find who you are and still having someone to tell your ideas to, even if they are just glances at weird road signs.
Good work, very relatable and thought provoking.
Journey reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
“lose myself in golden yellow and grassy green cornfields and watch chocolate elk graze on vibrant green Yellowstone grasses.”
This phrase is like mental comfort food. Yummy!
Lizzyerd reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Oh my gosh.
This left me feeling breathless. Your words echoed every thought I have ever had. My biggest, largest, most wanted dream is to travel just for the sake of traveling. Every word that you said I absolutely agree with. You do a marvelous job with discribing how much you want this and want you want from it. You seem to have put together not one or two of the simpler things by many.
The love of travel, like our ancesors long ago.
The love of human company, even though you would want to be alone. Our natural herd instict draws you toward people.
The love of reading, just from the fact that this steemed out of a book that you had read.
And most importantly, the love of writing. Just by writing this.
And more.. you have made me want to find this book.
March 06, 2006
Deleted User
Review of Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
You did a great job with this. It was visual. I have never read “On the Road” but I must say that your piece makes me want to travel. And, being a writer, I love how you say that you want to see all of these things as well as write. I love how the two are equal in importance. I have only two suggestions. The first is that run on sentence in the beginning. I loved evrything that you wrote, yet I didn’t like that it was all together in one breath. The only other thing was that I would leave out “as I did before” from the sentence about the slippers in the desert. Overall, you did an excellent job…keep writing.
dissipatingsoul reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Another great piece; I think I’m adding you to my favorites, heh.
Although I did like the first one slightly better because it seemed to be have more vivid images, this one is still really good. Reading all this is almost like reading a list of things I want, and some things you wrote, even if I never thought about before, reading them described as you do makes me want them. Excellent piece, I look forward to many more.
Showing 1 - 8 of 8
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
8 Reviews 9 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: over 2 years ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
