Ooo….. that would be pretty. Thank you for the wonderful comments.
Poetry / Reasons
Every time you take a breath free of chemicals,
Breathe once for our troops.
Every time you speak your opinion and not go to jail,
Voice your appreciation for our troops.
Every time you practice your religion without punishment,
Praise our beloved troops.
Every time you are able to vote for a leader,
Mark one for our fighting troops.
Every time you see our flag flying high on a pole,
Salute it for our fallen troops.
Every time you hear the Star Spangled Banner play,
Stand to show support for our present troops.
Every time you hear a newborn babe wail,
Cry for our future troops.
You needed reasons to give support in times of war,
Now that you have them... Support Our Troops.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
marebarr reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
The piece has clarity and passion.
If you are planning on working on it some more, I would try to mine some minute details from some of those scenes, and then describe in a new way. To get it published, it will need a new voice. It is an important message and worthy piece, just needs a little more originality.
- add/view comments (3)
tisha reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Very pariotic. I think you have pulled heartstrings in a time when many people are greaving and a poem like this could probably sell anything right now. It would even be good on a plaque with a little flag or a picture of the twin towers.
Daniella reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I like the viewpoint of this piece. I feel positive towards it. I definitely agree with all the statements but I think Art should demonstrate, illustrate, and illuminate a point. This poem could have done this when the message was fresh and new but with all the bumper stickers that remind us to Support Our Troops, which by the way are made in China, a country that supplies machetes to the Sudan. Supporting our troops is not a simple matter as this poem implies. I do like the following powerful image in, “Every time you take a breath free of chemicals,
Breathe once for our troops.” It is a novel point. Overall this is a good poem except it sounds like propaganda. I guess I am torn between praising this poem and its subject, and wanting it to be more subtle. It does ring true.
raebethmcgee reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
This poem touches me on so many different levels. I have so many family members who have served in the military. My fiance for one. He came home and was discharged when we found out we were pregnant. My cousin is still active. I do know of some soldiers who have lost their life and to this day I can remember him saying that he feels America doesnt think of the things the soldier is leaving behind in order to serve for his country. This poem shows that there are people out there that care. I think the author did a great job when writing this poem and I can feel that they put their heart into it. I dont think anything needs changed.
jalubcarrey reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
This is very straightforward and outlines, in clear terms, what someone should think about when they live a life of freedom in America. As a former Soldier and Airman I appreciate it, and I’m sure many soldiers would appreciate.
You could expand it, a bit, to include a lot more. The freedom from invasion, subjugation, even the freedom to tell lies if you want. There’s a lot to throw in here, but it all depends on how far you want to go with it.
Showing 1 - 5 of 5
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
5 Reviews 9 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 21 days ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 46 Times
Skipped: 4 Times
Ratings & Rankings
