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Poetry / Love is God's Whip
It eminates a golden light
It is sacred
People search their whole lives for it
But it cuts through your shirt
Through your skin
Like a hot, rusty blade
Not yet 18
I've suffered enough lashings
My back bares enough scars
To last most a lifetime
For me, about two weeks
In the meantime
I'd like to say
"C'mon Jack,
Give me a hit, will ya?"
I'm tired of this love
I fall everytime I turn a corner
For a little while, at least
I want to feel sterile
Numb me baby
Alas, I have no money
And I have no ride
So, I'll soak in the shower
Whispering sweet nothings to myself
Stupid bitch
Go on with him, See if I care
Cunt, Whore, etc.
Until the hot water runs out
And all goes cold
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Wow. This was an amazing poem. I loved how you channeled the emotions to the reader. It is definatly a poem I’ll remember. One suggestion.
Maybe changing and taking out the curse words and add some punctuation.
Otherwise fantastic.
Good work, good luck
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Definitely a good poem representing teenage angst. One thing I would suggest structurally is changing the numeric 18 to the written word eighteen. Otherwise it stands out too much.
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