Novel Treatments / Time Warriors Chapter 3

 CHAPTER THREE

School.

 

Colin was staring out the window looking at the cars parked in the teachers car park. Amongst the battered old Toyotas and new Suzuki’s was a hot car. A Ford, with spoilers and wide tyres, with flames painted down the sides. It is Mr. Green’s car. He is a new teacher this year, replacing Ms Fowler while she has her baby. He is a cool guy. Rad hair, ear -rings and a pierced nose. Not like Mrs. Morgan. Wouldn’t it be great to have him as a teacher thought Colin. He was daydreaming again. He always does when he has to do the maths sheets. They are too easy and it only takes him half the time to finish them as the rest of the class. Lots of time to think. Then Colin blinked. Suddenly appearing next to the Principal’s four -wheel drive was a … shape, a girl. Or at least, Colin thought, something that could pass for a girl. Not just any girl. It was the girl. Layla. Colin almost yelled at her before he remembered where he was. In a demountable classroom on a hot Monday morning, trying to calculate the day in the future when he will be eighteen and no longer have to go to school. It was definitely the same girl. He left her at home this morning, hanging in his closet like a bat with bad clothes sense. She was still asleep and she snored. Not a good sound. She was different now. Bright red and long, her hair seemed to float above her. The girl from the future was dressed in a silver dress and green boots. How did she change her clothes? It’s not the kind of thing he has in his wardrobe. Then he recalled where he has seen them before. Oh no.

“She’s nicked them from my mum’s wardrobe” he muttered.

“Colin Trevillian. No talking.”

Colin looked up at his teacher. Mrs. Morgan. The witch. Not like that nice witch on tv. More like the kind of witch JK Rowling could use in the next Harry Potter book. The one who makes ‘he who must not be mentioned’ run away in fright. He looked back down at the test in front of him and scribbled a bit to appear busy. But he can’t resist glancing back nervously out the window.

It is her. No doubt about it. he thought. Who else would be wondering around the teachers’ car-park with a silver star on her forehead? It reflected in the chrome bumper bars of Mrs. Morgan’s Barina. Colin leant forward as Layla got down on her haunches and disappeared from his view.

“Please don’t come into this school.” Colin muttered, praying for a miracle he knows would be denied.

“Colin Trevillian, what are you doing?”

Colin looked up from his corner of the table.

“Me, miss?”

Mrs. Morgan was sitting at her desk at the front of the classroom. On the blackboard is written TEST in big letters. Like we needed reminding said Lance when he came in. Everyone was looking at the short black haired boy with the wild eyes and he was starting to blush. Fathead had turned around and was pulling one of his favourite faces. Terry made that Simpson sound and the World’s Ugliest Girl was smirking at him.

“Turn around you lot and go back to work. You’ve got ten minutes left.”

Mrs. Morgan stared at Colin. “And you can come down the front and sit with me.”

         Colin picked up his chewed pencil and rubber and his test paper and slowly walked the walk of death. He sat down on the plastic seat that is kept on the right hand side of the teacher’s desk for the bad children, his bottom squeaking on the plastic and making the class giggle. Colin has only occupied that chair a few times but he knows the drill. He sat in silence, not looking at the old woman. She was almost as old as his mum, over thirty, and she was dressed in pants and shirts and has lots of jewellery on her fingers. Her desk was neat with all the scissors and pencils in labelled containers.

Mrs. Morgan got up out of her seat and wandered to the window.

“What have we here?” She muttered.

The teacher looked like Sherlock Holmes on the scent, prowling this way and that, keening at the leash like a bloodhound.

“That is very suspicious.”

“What is miss?”

The schoolboy can’t look. He knows that Layla is probably doing something outrageous. Maybe she’s going to steal a car. He watched his teacher as she stared out into the sunny day, nostrils quivering. She does look like a bloodhound. There’s even a collar around her neck. Fathead’s mum had a collar round her dog’s neck. But it was no bloodhound. It was one of those bulldogs with the fat backsides and big jowls. The ones that look like they’ve chased a bus and then the bus has stopped suddenly. Fathead’s mum walked it up to the school sometimes when she was fetching her son. In fact both Fathead and his mum looked a lot like that dog. Must run in the family.

Colin was getting anxious. He hoped she would not catch the girl from the future. He wanted it all to just go away. The other students are all starting to look at the woman and she turned back abruptly.

“Times up.” Mrs. Morgan didn’t look at the big clock on the wall behind her. She has a perfect sense of time when it comes to the school day. The class put their pencils down and watch her. The bell for lunch was about to ring and they are keen to escape. The dinky tune that is the lunch bell tinkled in the speakers and their teacher dismissed them. They silently shuffled out, putting their tests on Mrs. Morgan’s desk as they pass. As soon as they hit the door they ran like mad rabbits to their bags and got out their lunch. Colin was thinking about the soccer game down in the year Five area. All he had to do was get out of there.

“Please tidy up the chairs for me Colin.” Mrs. Morgan gave him what she probably thought was a smile. As he does as he is told Mrs Morgan watches him, her face inscrutable. Colin doesn’t know this but she is very fond of him. She knows he is bright and very good at maths and science and she hopes that he can find the joy of learning that she has. Five minutes later Colin is out the door of the demountable classroom and racing towards his mates.

“Well done Peabrain.” said Smelly Vuong.

“How did you go?” asked Ben.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

The soccer ball had just flown by and the boys break from the pack as they run to kick it. In a nano-second Colin has totally forgotten about the girl in the car park as he kicks the ball at the garbage bins.

Colin found out later that day what Mrs. Morgan had seen. Todd came home in a very bad mood. Colin could tell because he grunted when mum asked about his day. Then he went into his room. Slammed the door. Didn’t come out for an hour.

Later, as Todd was stealing Colin’s chocolate bar, he mumbled something about how he was going to get whoever dobbed him in for smoking at the back of the teachers’ car-park. Colin guessed he better not mention Mrs. Morgan.

Colin went back to his room down the hallway, after dinner, on tiptoes. He was worried.  Of anything and everything. What did Layla mean, save the universe? He didn’t like the sound of that. It probably meant danger and pain and he had a enough of that a as goalie. And he has homework to do. How much worse could it get. Surprisingly not much. Layla has disappeared. No strange clothes, no dreadful singing, no lectures about saving the world. Nothing. Colin couldn’t quite get over the fact he was a little disappointed. He finished his homework, a sheet of maths and some spelling words and a short descriptive passage on the medieval period, in record time. His passage was all about knights and chivalry. Colin knew a bit about it but his brother Todd surprisingly was an expert. That was because they had gone to a festival once and there was all these people dressed up in medieval costumes. Real armour, swords and damsels. Todd got to have a go at the fighting and in the end they had to put him in the stocks just to keep him under control. He’d never realised you could put such a dent in a metal suit. Since then Todd had collected all sorts of books and stuff. He even had a big metal dragon that Vuong’s dad had in his shop.  Colin enjoyed doing his homework for once and the time flew. Looking up, he saw on his radio clock that it is nearly ten o’clock. Colin could hear his brother playing Guitar Hero in his room. He felt sorry for his brother, mainly because he could guessed that Todd was finding it hard to get ready for high school in only a few months time. He almost would have said that Todd was scared. But never to his big brother’s face. No one is that stupid.  Colin went to sleep easily and dreamt of the old days.

 

There was a queue of students lining up outside room 6. When the bell had gone for the end of school on Tuesday Mrs. Morgan’s class had, like usual, stormed out of the room like a pack of seals running from seal hunters.  They avoided the large year sixers that were waiting outside. Minutes later the detention class was complete. There was Todd, Vuong, Fathead, The Ugliest girl in the World, and a smiling Mrs. Morgan. Of course Mrs. Morgan was not on detention. She was just supervising it. Now, most teachers hated detention. They had to stay back after school and watch like a hawk over a bunch of bad students. But Mrs. Morgan loved it. She wandered purposefully from desk to desk giving little lectures to the students. Telling them that if they were not careful they would end up in a bad way. They could end up being on the dole or working as a check out chick. Todd would get a clip over the ear when he replied “Or a teacher.” Mrs Morgan loved children so she wanted them to reach their full potential. She did this but cajoling and encouraging them, or just pulling their ears if they started talking. Pulling your ears is probably against the law but who is going to complain? For the next half hour this band of not so merry kids will be twiddling their thumbs and trying hard to ignore her.

Why is Colin dawdling outside the classroom? Well, two reasons. The first is that it is his afternoon for walking Max and has decided to check on his brother. Secondly, he had locked himself out of the house again and Todd had the spare key. Mum was not due back from work for ages and he did not want to hang out the front waiting for her. So Max is straining at the leash and trying to drag Colin to the nearby tree. Colin is tempted to let him go but the last time that happened Max dug up an old lady’s front garden and he got into heaps of trouble.

And that was when he noticed three amazing things. One is the girl from the future appearing from nowhere again. Not that amazing, even when she is dressed in a funny looking frilly white dress with moving asteroids on it, although the accompanying sound effects were better than Star Wars. Just what you would expect, thought Colin something bizarre from the future. Then there was the dragon that swooped over the school. Pretty amazing. Colin was so startled by the sight he let go of Max’s leash. Max was so surprised he didn’t run off. And then the big pile of dragon poo that descended from the sky, landing on Mrs. Morgan’s Barina was very amazing, although very smelly as well.

“Did you see that?” Layla had appeared by Colin’s side. “That was the signal.”

“What? Dragon droppings in the car-park?”

“The dragon. It’s from the past.”

“There was no such things as dragons, was there?” Colin was a little concerned. He’d read lots of myths and legends, Arthur and the round table, the story of St George, but he had never imagined that there were real dragons.

“Maybe we should do something?” Colin had a fresh idea.

“Like what?”

“ I was thinking about running.”

“Quick.” said Layla, ignoring the boy’s entreaties. “We have to get going.”

“See, I thought it was a good idea.”

But Layla seemed to be going in the wrong direction. She was trotting up to the demountable where the detention class was being held. She bounced up the stairs two at a time, the remote in her hand, just as Mrs. Morgan wandered out.

“My car!” she wailed. Just then the fourth amazing thing happened. Colin had followed the girl from the future, and Max had followed Colin so they are all standing on the little wooden verandah that girdled the building when Layla hit a switch and the demountable, including the students on detention, was hurtled into the vortex of time and space. Very, very amazing.

“It might be better if we go inside” yelled Layla as the wind whipped up, lifting her skirt and revealing metal shorts.

They scooted into the room as it swirled and twisted in the emptiness between dimensions.

“What is happening, dear?”

Mrs. Morgan didn’t seem very upset by this strange turn of events. Not even very surprised. She just sat down at her desk and straightened up her pencils.

“I am from the future.”

“ I thought so. Either that or Melbourne. It’s a very trendy place.”

“And I have to take Colin back to the middle ages to save the planet, and maybe even the universe.”

“hahahahahaha”

Colin could hear his older brother laughing.

“Colin?”

“And unfortunately you were here when the time was right to travel. There’s a vortex right in the school.”

“That’s 6G dear. The teachers all know that.”

“Where are we?” asked WUG (The World’s ugliest girl!) Which is a very good question. Layla tried to explain.

“We are travelling through time and space. In fact we are also travelling between parallel universes. Each is an entity in itself with its own history and laws. At the present time we are hurtling at faster than light speeds from one world to the next. I have all the information here on my BLEEPER.”

You would think that this kind of speech would have her audience spell bound. In fact she did not get the attention she deserved. The only one listening was Mrs. Morgan. Todd had gone back to carving his name in the desk. Fathead and WUG were tossing a paper ball between them. Colin was playing with Max. Smelly Vuong was eating some delicacy that his mum had made for him. A vegemite sandwich, thought Colin, whose stomach was grumbling.

“Don’t worry dear. They don’t listen to me either.” Mrs. Morgan patted her on the shoulder and went back to marking the tests.

“Why didn’t they listen to me?” asked Layla, speaking to Colin who was sitting on the floor.

“Oh, we’ve all seen television shows about stuff like that. I like to watch Dr Who. And Star Trek the movie was only out on DVD a few months ago.”

“ I don’t understand. What is television?”

“Don’t you have t.v. in the future? What a dreadful place it must be.”

The demountable suddenly lurched to the left and everyone slid across the room. (just like in Star Trek)

“We seem to be slowing down.” Voung had finished his sandwich and was now sipping from a can of green tea.

“Are we there yet?”  Fathead tossed the paper ball at the girl’s head and it bounced in a strange way. Instead of hitting the floor it hovered in the air for a moment and then burst into flames.

“Bet you can’t do it again.”.

“Not without some matches”

“I think we had all better sit down.” ordered Mrs. Morgan.

She was right. The wind began to howl and the classroom pitched like a plane going in to crash.

“Is there anything we can do?” Colin pleaded.

“We could sing.” Layla replied.

“Would it help?”

“No not really.”

Colin tried to think of a song that he could sing while falling through space.

“Hot potato, hot potato . . .” he whimpered as the classroom yawed. Max the dog was trying to sing along too.

The wind got louder and stronger. Papers flew around and there seemed to be a flotilla of stars flashing by. Then there was a thud.

With a jolt the hut flopped onto hard ground. The classroom bounced like a jumping castle and the occupants flew about. Some of them got a few scratches and bruises but no one was seriously hurt. They were all tossed about like a salad but by holding on to their school desks they came out unscathed.

 

Bodies were strewn about like dolls. In fact, they were dolls. The world’s ugliest girl had brought her Barbie collection and it had smashed open when the classroom hit the ground. The children were soon sitting up with stunned expressions on their faces. And Mrs Morgan was upset because one of her pots of glue has come undone and spilt onto the desk. Colin looked about, rubbing his head where he had bumped it against a chair.

“Hello Max” he grunted as the dog ran to his master and jumped all over him. Then Max caught sight of Layla and did the same thing to her, with extra licking just for fun. The girl looked up with a funny smile on her face

.” Stupid dog” she whispered.

Standing on unsteady feet the two of them went over to the window and watched the snow falling onto the frosty field.

“So, this is the Middle Ages?” said Layla .

The frost was on the ground and snow was sprinkled like castor sugar on the tall trees. The wind blew and, off in the distance, they could see a run down old castle. From the top spire of the castle a long metal tower poked up into the sky looking very much like a television antennae.

“There is something wrong here.” Mrs Morgan had seen the castle.

“I reckon. My dolls are everywhere.”

“That’s not what I meant Carolyn.”

“Oh wow.” Fathead had raced to the window and he was fascinated by something he could see.

“What is it?” said Todd as he shoved Fathead away.

“Oh my god!”

WUG said just one word. “FOOD!” (This was the first word she ever spoke when she was a baby. She said it as her father was poking his head into her crib and she tried to bite his nose off. Not easy with baby teeth but she left her mark) Then she said it again for emphasis-

“FOOD!!”

They all went to look. In the field, where two roads intersected, was a wooden stand. In it were two people wearing orange robes. That was not what made the children go wow. It was the big red M that hung over the stand.

“Mc Donalds.” The children chorused. “Can we get some?”

They did not wait for an answer. Todd showed real pace in getting out of the classroom and out into the field. Even WUG, a fairly large girl for her age, or any age, made it out in several nano-seconds. Mrs Morgan followed at a more leisurely pace. She was more of a fan of Hungry Jacks.

“Canna hilp yoo?”

“Sorry?”

“Whard wood yoo lark?”

Mrs. Morgan steps in.

“Canna harv six a ya boons?”

The man at the booth went back behind a screen. The children could hear the sounds of sizzling and the heady aroma of cooking meat. Two minutes later he returned with a paper bag in which contained the ‘boons’.

“There yoo goo mus. That’ll be three croons.”

“Wee aven goot arny money. Maybee yoo mart lark thes in exchunge?”

Mrs. Morgan handed him a pair of scissors. He turned them over. Looked at it. Clicked them a few times.

Wart ez et?

“They’re scissors.” Todd was quite rude.

Mrs Mogan took them back, pout them on her fingers and cut the end off the bag.

“See?”

The man nodded vigorously.

“Do et agin.”

Mrs Morgan obliged. Then she handed them to his assistant. She started cutting holes in the bags until her boss hit her over the head.

“A fayr swop I contend.”

There yee goo, ma bonnie lass.”

Mrs. Morgan giggled then returned with the food.

 Pretty soon the whole team was munching on delicious buns filled with meat and salad and carrying paper bags filled with hot fries. They stood around on the balcony too busy eating to talk. Eventually Vuong swallowed a big bite and turned to his teacher.

“What did you say to him miss?”

“Yes miss, what language was it?”

“It was old English but with a thick Scottish accent.”

“Where did you learn how to speak like that?” asked Layla who was impressed with the woman’s linguistic skills.

“Watching Billy Connolly DVD’s.”

None of the children knew who that was, except for Layla.

“Billy Connolly? You can speak Connolly?”

“I’ve seen him.” said Mrs. Morgan.

Layla stood with her mouth open. When she walked back into the school building she stayed close to the teacher asking questions. The others just continued chewing.

“You children are to sit on the steps.”

 Mrs. Morgan did not allow eating in her room. Todd chewed contentedly.

“This is the best burger I’ve ever eaten.”

Fathead was drooling as he sucked on a fry.

“Unreal.”

“What is venison, miss?”

“Venison is deer meat Colin.”

“But those scissors don’t cost very much. You’ve got hundreds of them.”

“She means deer meat stupid. Like Rudolph.”

“Cause the sign said Venison brioche.”

“What’s a broach?”

“A broach is something you wear Carolyn.”

“I thought that was a brooch.”

Colin was not sure who Mrs. Morgan was talking to. Then he remembered. Her name was Carolyn. Everyone called her The Ugliest Girl in the World, Ugly for short, and he had forgotten she had a real name.

“Venison brioche is dear burger.” said Mrs Morgan. “I suppose potatoes in the french style are . . .”

“French fries!!” said Fathead with his mouth full.

“You do know there were no burgers in the tenth century.”

“I wonder what time it is?”

Fathead nudged Layla.

“Have a look on your remote.”

Layla gave him a look that made the boy pull back.

“It’s a bleeper. And it doesn’t know what the time is. Only the date.”

“Well what’s the date then?” Todd said belligerently.

“May 5 1033.”

And it’s about twelve o’clock.” Colin spoke confidently.

“How can you know?’” Todd was just as rude as usual.

          Colin looked back at the stand. There were several peasants queueing up.

“It’s lunchtime.”

“And I repeat. You do know there are no burgers in the tenth century. Especially not McDonalds.”

“Actually it’s the eleventh century.”

They all looked at Fathead. This was the first time he had offered any kind of knowledge on anything except for football.

“Tenth.”

Carolyn said this. Colin still found it hard to remember her real name. Then he started thinking about the real names of all the others. For example, Smelly was known by that moniker because he had the worst farts in the class. His real name was Li. And he really . . . Colin looked up. Where had Li disappeared to? I hope he didn’t go inside. Mrs Morgan doesn’t like us eating in class. Fathead was called that because . . . well he had a fat head. Gigantic really.

“Eleventh.”

“Fathead’s right.” Said Todd.“ But that doesn’t stop my stomach enjoying these ones.”

Then Colin recalled Fathead’s real name. Byron Mitchellson. Think I’ll keep calling him Fathead thought the boy. It’s better.

“Where’s Smelly?”

“Yeah. Where’d he go?”

They looked around. Then they went into the classroom.

“Mrs. Morgan.” they screeched. “Smelly Vuong. He’s gone.’’

“Hey. That rhymes” joked Todd. “Now he’s gone, smelly Vuong.”

“Let’s rap it.”

Fathead and Todd spent the next two minutes rapping variations on the topic while the rest of the students helped Mrs. Morgan search. It didn’t take long because there were not that many places to look. Once you’ve opened the cupboard a few times and had a bit of a yell, there are not that many options left.

Mrs. Morgan sat Layla down and asked her some hard questions. Colin was listening. The others wanted to go and check out the place. Mrs. Morgan told then to sit and learn. When she does that in her imperious voice everyone listens.

“So what is happening here? Is this really the Earth in the . . . eleventh century?”

“See” said Fathead.

Layla smiles.

“ It may be the Earth. Or at least a version of it.”

“A version.”

“The universe is full of alternate versions. According to Feynman they converge into the one we know. If there is a significant break in the continuity then a new version of the planet could become the dominant one.”
“I don’t get it miss.”

“Think of it like . . . cover versions. You know Kylie Minogue?”

“Yeah. She’s old.”

“Thanks Carolyn. She did a song called the Locomotion.”
“My Gran loves that song.”

“Thank you Byron. It is not the original song. That was done by Little Eva in the 60’s.”

“I still don’t get it.”

Colin was still confused. But at least he wasn’t afraid to admit it.

“Now everyone thinks that the Kylie version is the original version.”

“Only really old people think it’s not.”

“Thank you Byron, you are right.”

“I still don’t get it.”

Todd was lost somewhere around ‘What is happening?’

Mrs Morgan had a gleam in her eyes.

“If you look outside you’ll see a McDonalds. On the castle out there is a t.v. antennae. These are not normal things for the middle ages.”

 “Probably no calculators either.” Piped up Carolyn.

“Calculators?”

“Yes. The Scottish man was using one when I walked up to his stall.”

Fathead nodded.

“Oh yeah. Old style one, with big numbers.”

“Layla I think you had better tell us what is going on.” Mrs. Morgan did not look impressed.

“I don’t think we’ll have time for that.” Todd was pointing out into the distance. “Look!”

The sound of approaching thunder was accompanied by a jingling sound, a bit like a sleigh ride.

“We are really in trouble here.”
“I reckon. Here come some knights in armour.” Fathead started to shake. “And they don’t look too friendly.”

The children started to run around the room. They were joined by Max, who thought they were playing a game. He barked happily.

“Shut up Max,” whispered Colin. “maybe they’ll not notice us if we’re quiet.”

“It’s a bit late for that stupid.” said his brother. “There’s a big classroom in the middle of a field. Besides, they’re here.”

The others got frightened. Fathead tried to hide under the desk but had to push Carolyn out of the way and the desk fell with a smash.

“Watch out Fathead.”

“You, ya  . . .”

“I’m getting out of here.” said Todd and he ran to the door. The others heard him and quickly followed.

Then they ran out the door and started to scarper off in all directions.

“Stop children. Wait here.” Mrs. Morgan had also run outside but she was ready for battle. The teacher stayed rooted on the spot.  She was armed with a ruler and a stapler in her hands. She was not going to allow anyone to damage school property.

The children did not stop. They were too scared to hear her. They scooted off like scared rabbits. Colin and Max raced towards the forest and Layla ran towards the hills in the distance. The knights hesitated for a moment then ran after Colin.

Fathead and Carolyn went and hid under the demountable.  They crawled under as far as they could go before covering their heads.

“Don’t you dare fart you big pig.”

“Speak for yourself.” the girl answered.

 

 

 

 

 

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