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Novel Treatments / Chapter 31 The Phone Call (Analysis)
#53 Poems and Phones
I spent the last few days trying to get my act together. I'm trying to find out how and why Donna and I fell in love and got married. In looking back over what I've written I'm not sure I'm doing that. Still, I think there is something here worth going on about. As sometimes happens, while I'm thinking about one writing problem I get ideas for another piece of writing all together. I'm including this poem here because it came to me over the weekend. It really belongs back in the first year some time to fit the chronology. Still, here is when I wrote it so here is where it goes.
To my wife of 43 years.
She was a city girl and I a small town boy.
What did we have in common?
(Her hair was auburn, like the last touch of an autumn sunset.)
She played the violin and I played football.
What did we have in common?
(Her eyes were blue, but dark as midnight.)
Her father was an engineer and mine a roofer.
What did we have in common?
(Her freckles danced and swirled and danced again.)
She came to school to learn. I came to play.
What did we have in common?
(Her dimples drew the eye as a magnet iron.)
We met by chance at a dance I hadn't wanted to attend.
What did we have in common?
(Her smile lit the room and I was taken.)
When bodies come together there's a flash.
When souls embrace, the light outshines the sun.
What did we have in common?
Not a single thing.
No.
Not a single thing.
Back to the situation. When we last left our hero he was devastated by a letter from his true love saying she was breaking their engagement and had started going out. His first response was to drop out of school. As we join him now he is sitting in the dorm brooding and waiting until 9:00 PM so he can make a phone call.
Sarcasm aside, that phone call is perhaps the most important one I ever made to Donna. Clearly I could have ended everything right there or she could have. I didn't have any idea what I was going to say to her, I just knew I had to talk to her. As the day went on I began to feel a rising anger; an anger I had to keep in check.
I surprised I don’t remember what I said in more detail, but I don’t. The memory of making the call is very clear. I couldn't even wait until 9:00. I called at 8:00 PM which was 5:00 in California. Donna's mother answered the phone and it took about 45 seconds for Donna to get on the line. The call was traumatic for both of us. That will be apparent when I get back to the letters next time. Here is my memory of the call.
“Hello”
Hello, quite a letter I got today.
“Yes, I knew it would get to you today. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry, that’s it? No other explanation?”
“No, just I’m sorry, and I’ll never forgive myself.”
“But you won’t stop dating?”
“Joey, please don’t ask me that, I just can’t. Someday I’ll explain, I do love you.”
For the first time all day I started to get angry. I could feel it building in the pit of my stomach. She wasn’t going to explain and she wasn’t going to stop going out? How could she do this to me? What did she expect me to do?
I was quiet for so long she finally said, “Are you still there?’
“Yeah, I’m just thinking.” I remember taking a deep breath as I struggled to control my anger, then going on. “Here it is Donna. I’ll let you date for the rest of the summer, but you have to come back to Valpo. To me. If you don’t come back we will never make it.”
“Honey I –“
I interrupted. “This is what will happen. We’ll try to get together on vacations, and we’ll try to keep writing, but the letters will get further and further between, and other things will come up to keep us apart even at vacations. You will continue to date and I’ll become less and less a part of your life. By the time we graduate there will be nothing left.”
Donna tried to interrupt me several times as I talked but I just talked over her. My anger was turning into rage and I didn’t want that to happen. I stopped talking and she said, “I love you. I’ll come back to Valpo, really back to you, if I possibly can,”
“What does that mean?” If you possibly can?”
“If Daddy will let me. I think he will. Oh Joe, I am so sorry.”
“Forget the sorry, just come back to me.”
“I will. Somehow I will. Thank you for not hating me.”
“I could never do that, I love you, maybe too much.” I remember taking another deep breath before going on. “If you have to date go ahead. You know I don’t want you to, but – well, I was going to say don’t kiss him, but that is likely out the door already. Just don’t make love to him, please.” My stomach was in a knot as I said that.
“Honey, I promise.”
“No, don’t promise, you haven’t done all that well with promises. Just come back to me and don’t go out any more than you have to, and don’t make love to him.” I know that at this point I was right on the edge of losing control. I knew if we talked much longer I would say something really ugly.
There was a pause before she answered. “I deserved that, but I’ll promise anyway. I will come back to Valpo and I will not let him make love to me. I love you.”
“And I love you.. I’m out of change so we have to end this call.”
“All right, I love you.” She sounded like she was crying.
“And me, you. Goodbye.”
When we hung up I think, in fact I know, that both of us were relieved. We were still in love with each other.
Now I need to go back and explain something here. I gave her permission to date for the rest of the summer, but she was going to do that anyway, so what did I give her? It seems to me I gave her my heart. She knew I didn't want her to date, but by my telling her she could I was showing her my trust and my love in the strongest way possible. Be honest now. Could you, dear reader, have done this? Even today I wonder where I found the strength to say that to her. At the time it seemed the only thing I could say.
Oh, and a minor, or maybe not so minor, irony here is that Allen was there when I called. I guess I haven't mentioned that her house had a swimming pool. They had been playing pool volleyball with Gale and her boyfriend and Donna told me (much later) that when she got back in the pool she knocked the ball into the neighbor's yard the first time she hit it. And another thing, Allen had gone with Donna and her father to the baseball game too. Think that last sentence through. She went to the game because she had promised me she'd go when the Indians came to town. She did go, but with a date. I do wonder at her thought processes.
Well, I think I've thrown enough out there for now. It's almost as bad as it ever got, and there are still some MAJOR obstacles to be overcome, but we had taken the first step.
======================================================================
Please note that I wrote section this without reading what Joe wrote about the phone call.
In truth, I remember the result of the call much more than the call itself. I was very mad at mother for telling Gale and the guys who was calling but as soon as I heard Joe’s voice I knew he was a lot madder than I was.
He said, “You’re not going to stop dating, are you.”
There was no way I could tell him I would stop because there was no way to tell him why I had started. I said something like “Please Joey, don’t hate me, but don’t ask me that. I’ll explain it all to you someday and - - - “
Joe interrupted. “I already said I knew you were not going to stop. The question is, are you coming back to me? By that I mean are you coming back to Valpo?”
Oh, he was mad. “If I can.” was all I could answer.
“If you can? That isn’t enough. Yes or no are the options. If you don’t plan to come back just send the ring. It isn’t possible to keep our love with you 2000 miles away and dating.”
Very mad. “Joe, you have to understand that - - “
He interrupted again. “No, I don’t have to understand, you go ahead and date for the rest of the summer. We can call it just a summer romance. But if you don’t come back it’s too much.”
“Joe, honey, I love you but - -“
“Donna, there are no “buts.” You have to come back or we end it. It’s your choice.”
Now I was getting a little angry too. “Joe, listen and don’t interrupt. I want to come back to you and I will. If Daddy lets me. I think he will, but there is a chance he will say no. I love you.”
“And I love you. OK, how soon will Daddy decide. Honey, you have put me in a place I can’t stay in for very long. You have to come back to me.”
“Joey, I will. Somehow I will. Just don’t hate me.”
“Deal, you come back and I won’t hate you. I can’t anyway. “
“I do love you Joe.”
“And I love you. Oh, and another thing, I was going to say don’t kiss him but I’m betting that is already done. Just don’t make love to him. I don’t think I could stand that.”
Oh honey, I promise I won’t - - “
“No don’t promise. You haven’t been doing very well on promises. Just don’t.”
I recall that feeling like a slap in the face. I didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and I could feel my own anger starting to rise. “I won’t. I’ll be back at Valpo and we can talk this all out. Let’s hang up now before one of us says something that isn’t forgivable.”
“Good idea. I love you, goodbye.”
He hung up. I stood there holding the phone for at least a minute before I hung up and started to go back outside. Mother was standing in the doorway She started to say something but I just walked past her. I was mad, mad at Mother for the way she had told me about the call. Mad at me because I had made such a mess of everything. Mad at Joe because he was not here with me, and in general, mad at the world.
I don’t think I can write anymore about this right now.
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amiblackwelder reviewed Version 1 -
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love the poetry addition. in between diagloue incude details of what they are doing. too much dialoge, break it up with action, what they think, what they feel, do.
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nubadunk reviewed Version 1 -
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I was just wondering where I can find the rest of the story, the chapters before. Overall I found it a good read but like you said was a little lost because i don’t really know what’s going on. I did see very few mistakes, a few commas should be added in a few places. You should just go over it and correct little things like on page 2 third paragraph I surprised I don’t remember, I’m pretty sure you meant I’m. Just clean it up and you will have a very good read
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