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Novel Treatments / Veil of Darkness - Chapter 2

 Present Day

     He rose from his bed just as the metal shutters began to open. Many of his kind around the world had these shutters to keep the sunlight out. Sleep wasn't required for them but many took advantage since they couldn't roam during the day.

     He walked to his French glass doors, opened them and peered out at the beautiful mountain his home sat on. The lights from the castle illuminated the mountainside. The trees and grass were green and the air was fresh. The average temperature was about fifty-five degrees during October, but tonight it was a crisp cool forty-seven. Jeramyah stood looking out, thinking of the night ahead of him.

     This evening, he would be dealing with Stephen O'Mieles, a no good junkie. The man had come from a long line of trouble makers. Caitlín had a run in with one centuries ago, Blade O'Mieles. Since then, she had located, what was known as the last living kin, who died fifteen years ago.

     What she didn't know nor had he any intention on telling her, was that one of Blade's sons had impregnated a woman out of wedlock. The son denied the poor maiden when he'd found her with child. The woman was forced from Ireland and retreated to Sweden. If she refused to leave, the son would have claimed her a witch and she would have been burned at the stake. She never returned to Ireland. In fact, the child, a boy, went mad and murder her when he was sixteen.

     Since, he returned to Ireland in search for his father, never to have found him. During his quest, he raped and murdered women. One woman, lived and bared his child. He never knew. She delivered a son, abandoning the boy in front of an orphanage with a note and a lot of money.  She specifically want the orphanage to know the child was a bastard, conceived out of wedlock and rape. She wanted nothing to do with it. The money she left was a donation and a bribe. She demanded that if the child should be adopted, that the child keep the O'Mieles name, so that if the father found out, he'd know where to look.

    The boy stayed in the orphanage until he was seven. The family who adopted him was told of the woman's request and strangely complied. Just like any adoption usually information wasn't given to the new parents, but Jeramyah knew because of the large contribution the woman made, they'd follow her instructions.

     The boy grew up healthy and loved. All the children after that had been obedient and respectful, expect for Stephen.

     Stephen caused chaos all over California and Nevada. The Kings and Queens hadn't been able to get their hands on him. When the King of Nevada did, the only punishment he received was banishment on donating. Since then, Stephen made him available on the black market, making it difficult for the King to track him.

     Jeramyah turned away from the glass doors and began preparing for the night, showering and dressing.

     He emerged from the bathroom at eight o'clock. He called down to Xavier, the castle's kitchen manager, to send for a donor. Donor's were humans who provided themselves to his kind to sate their needs. Jeramyah had a long list of them but there was only one he preferred.

     After speaking with Xavier, he called Lee to check on his progress with Stephen. Lee, short for Qaletaqa, was his top man when it came to accomplishing the impossible. Stephen had traveled so much and remained in hiding for so long, no one was a better tracker than Lee.

     "Hello," a husky voice said after the fourth ring.

     "Lee."

     "Yes, sir."

     "How's our guest?"

     He heard Lee let out a heavy sigh and explain everything that had occurred in Las Vegas, were Lee located Stephen, and during the flight. "A menace if you ask me, sir. He tried escaping a few times. Then we had to get the human authorities involved. The flight was quiet on his part. There was a little disturbance amongst other passengers but he wasn't involved."

     Jeramyah knew Stephen wouldn't come quietly, it was expected of him. He instructed Lee to be at the castle by eleven so the interrogation may begin. He had a feeling that Stephen had been involved with Caitlín's fire, but it wasn't the only reason he wanted the man back in Ireland. He wanted him to join forces with the Faoladh's so that he would remain controlled. Faoladh's were allies to his kind, which made his country stronger than any other. 

     When he finished speaking with Lee, he hung up then turned on the television that hung over the massive gray stone fireplace. He walked to the bedroom door and opened it.

     James, his human right hand man, delivered his evening newspapers and left them at the door. Humans within the castle were never to enter his chambers while he slept. Doing so would lead to death for them. 

     He scooped up the papers and closed the door. He crossed over to a sitting area close to the French doors and took a seat. He opened a paper and began reading. He always watched or read the new, keeping an eye out for activities involving his people. He was King of Ireland, and knowing was was happening within his county was important. He never missed a beat. Anyone of his people that were out of line, had to answer to him.

     According to the newspaper, there was no news.

     Two hours passed when there was a small tap on the door. He stood, put the paper down then turned off the television. When a donor was with him, he never watched television, he found it distracting, especially if the donor happened to be his favorite.

     He crossed over to the door and opened it. There she stood. A beautiful young woman of twenty-three. She wore a long silver silk dress with two inch silver heels. Her brown hair was loose and hung down to her shoulders. Her make-up was smooth and flawless with bluish eyeshadow, long black mascaraed lashes over piercing emerald eyes, and light pink lipstick.

     "Darling, please come in," he greeted with a wide smile, taking her hand and brushing his lips against it.

     She blushed against his kiss and entered. "Hello, your majesty."

     "Oh, come now, Yseult. I've asked you not to call me that." He smiled and closed the door behind her. Yseult, pronounced 'ee-solt' was his favorite donor. She was graceful, clean and a wonderful lover. When he wasn't feeding or making love to her, she would accompany him to operas or theatre. 

     "I know. What shall it be tonight? An opera, theatre, or are we staying in?" She walked to the bed and sat at the edge, crossing one leg over the other, exposing her soft, white skin.

     He watched her make herself comfortable and everything inside him screamed for her. 

     "Unfortunately, this evening is not an outing. I'm sorry darling, I should have told Xavier. But you look absolutely ravishing." He sat down beside her and took her hand. He smiled with sympathetic eyes and placed a kiss upon her cheek.

     "That's all right. You know I never expect anything."

     "But you should. I'll give you whatever you like," he whispered against her cheek.

     Before she could protest, her face was between his hands and he kissed her lips gently, parting hers with his tongue. She responded the same, slanting her head to the side to deepen the kiss and moaning with pleasure.

     She moved her hands over his chest and began unbuttoning his shirt. She pushed it over his shoulders, exposing his masculine chest covered with light brown curly hair. She ran her fingers through them and he let out a groan from his throat. 

      He loved when she touched him. Her hands were soft as the silk she wore and light as a feather. 

     He wrapped his arms around her waist then pulled her onto his lap, straddling him. He ran his fingers along her exposed back until the dress started at the small of her back. he love how soft she felt under his fingers. He caressed up and down her spine, feeling her shudder, then up to her neck.

     Breaking their kiss, he moved his lips to her cheek, across her jaw and down her neck. he kissed and nuzzled against it, taking in a breath to smell her sweet perfume. She smelled of roses. He could hear her blood pumping through the vein in her neck. It aroused him and hungry with need. 

     He trailed his tongue up and down her neck, then nibbled on her ear. She moaned, her arms wrapped around him, drawing him closer to her. He could feel the wetness through her panties and it excited him. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. 

     He traced his fingers up to her shoulders and slowly slipped the thin straps off them, kissing her shoulders then her collarbone. Her heart raced against his, their breaths quickened as they longed to have each other. 

     "My love," he moaned against her neck. 

     "Yes, please," she pleaded, gripping a handful of his hair to force his lips to her neck. 

      He couldn't wait any longer, he needed to taste her blood. His eyes turned black the hungrier he got, his canine teeth began to grow to a dangerous point, his breath faster. He gripped her shoulders from behind, embracing her.

     Just as he was about to sink his teeth into her pulsating neck, there was a knock at the door. He stopped, frozen and quiet. There was another knock.

     "Yes?" he snarled.

     He heard someone clear their throat and say, "Mr. Fitzgerald, Mr. Awiakta has arrived."

     Jeramyah sighed, "Thank you, James." Of all the times, why did Lee have to be on time? He thought as he continued to kiss Yseult's neck.

     Yseult sighed, too, "I guess you'll have to make this quick." Her voiced bared disappointment and that made him upset. He never wanted her to be disappointed in anything when it came to him.

     "I'm sorry my dear. We have to make this quick after all." He needed her so much but time was something he didn't have tonight. He felt frustrated that with all that is happening he didn't know when he would have the chance to see her again. But he wasn't about to disappoint her again.

     "Good thing I understand," she teased, kissing his lips.

     "I vow to make it up to you my love." He took her face between his hands again and looked deep into her eyes.

     "Okay," she said rolling her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and bent her head to the side, exposing her neck for him to take. 

     "I vow it," he whisper again, then sank his teeth into her soft, white skin then into her pulsating vein. 

     Her warm blood rushed into his mouth. She gasped and drew him closer. He was completely aroused, read to take her beneath him. His shaft grew stiff with each pull of her blood. She began moving her hips against him as he pushed her down onto him, rubbing her wetness against his pulsating hard. She moaned and her breaths grew faster. He wanted to release himself as well as her, but he had to control himself, he couldn't take her tonight. Not with guests awaiting him. He took one last long pull and removed his teeth. He licked the wound, sealing it, then kissed it. 

     Jeramyah reached for a Kleenex from the night stand, wiped her neck then his mouth. He kissed her neck again, then her cheek as she lowered her head until their lips met. He kissed her deeply and she responded, thrusting her tongue into his mouth.

    Regretfully, he pulled away, brushed a stray hair from her face and whispered, "Next time." 

     She nodded.

     He rose from the bed, with her still wrapped around him, and placed her on her feet. Some time during their involvement she had removed her heels that concealed her height. Without them, she stood only five foot five compare to his six foot.

     He adjusted his pants, then ran his fingers through his long salt and pepper hair, smiling at her as he watched her straighten her dress. She slipped on her heels, keeping her eyes on him. Hunger bore into them, energy vibrated through her entire body. She glowed whenever they were together. 

     She walked to the door and he followed. "I'll see you soon then?" 

     "Aye! You most definitely will." 

     She raised to her tip toes, placed her hands on his shoulders and he bent to meet her halfway. They kissed each other one last time then she turned and left the room. 

    Jeramyah stood at the doorway, watching her walk down the hall. She had an angelic swag and it made his body scream for her in lust. He'd thought many time of bringing her over but reality would kick in and he'd changed his mind. He hadn't created another in over a thousand years and their numbers were rapidly increasing daily, so he vowed never to turned anyone.

     He pulled himself out of his thoughts and made his way to the second floor where his study sat.

     When he entered the room, Lee sat in a chair by the door, Temperus stood behind Stephen, who sat on the long leather couch. They all nodded in greeting, except Stephen, who'd been looking everywhere but at him.

     Jeramyah strolled over to his large mahogany executive desk and sat. He noticed a heavy envelop from the Queen of Sweden. He let out a deep breath and ripped it open.

     My good friend Jeramyah,

          I'm sending a servant to your country, Alemeth Wihelmson. He's a private investigator in search of someone. I know we've had our differences but this is nothing personal. One of my servants have gone missing and though I know you keep a close eye on those coming and going, I feel that this person has been hiding from all of our kind. 

          I would hope you would provide accommodations as I will provide the same courtesy in the future. I hope you are doing well.

     The Queen of Sweden was sending one of her servants in search of someone? He thought. Why? 

      Jeramyah threw down the note and placed his hand on his forehead. He didn't really need this right now. Not with everything that was going on. Caitlín had been attacked, voluntary or involuntary, he didn't know for sure. There was a war brewing amongst his kind and the humans as well as the other mythical creatures. He didn't have time to entertain guests.

     He would need to contact Caitlín to provide a room for the visitor, but before he did that he would have to meet him first and try to probe anything out of him that was untrue. He didn't like having the Queens servants in his country or staying with Caitlín, but he didn't have much of a choice. He longed to keep the treaty between the two countries in tact.

     "Sir, is everything all right, " Temperus asked, interrupting his thoughts.

     "Fine. Just fine," he said as cheerfully as possible. Then he grew serious, looking at Stephen, who was still looking everywhere but at him. "I hear you've been making a killing in America."

     "I doubt you know anything about me," Stephen spat, focusing his attention on a set of bookshelves across from where he sat.

     Jeramyah pulled a folder from a drawer and placed it on the desk, opening it. "I think I do." He ran his fingers down the list of places, times and dates of every place Stephen had traveled and done. "You've attended California State University, dated a female of our kind for two years until you found her feeding on one of your friends. After that, you were attacked by a newbie and have been searching for him since. You've joined the AMAS until you were dismissed three years ago then made the move to Nevada, killing a many innocent people."

     The AMAS, American Mythical Annihilation Society, were a group of humans out to, well, annihilate anything beyond the human spectrum, such as vampires, werewolves and even witches.

"When the King found out, you were banished then made yourself available on the black market for those who could not afford the King's prices. You had just been feed on when Lee, here," he waved a hand in Lee's direction then continued, "picked you up. And in the same hotel as Farina. How brave of you to take a risk like that."

     Dario Farina, Las Vegas' most notorious mobster was second in command to the King of Nevada. Although, Jeramyah knew that Farina didn't follow the Kings rules, he knew that if Farina got his hands on Stephen the lad wouldn't make it through the night. That was another reason he sent Lee to pick him up.

     Jeramyah closed the folder and stared at Stephen, waiting for a snide remark to come from him.

     "So? What do you want from me?" Stephen sat with his arms over his chest with a smirk on his face.

     "I want you here, in Ireland. I think you will be a plus for our community as well as the Faoladh's." 

      "And who the hell are they?"

     "They are a pack of wolves," Jeramyah said bluntly. He found no reason to hide the details since Stephen will soon become one of them.

     "What? Werewolves?" He asked incredulously, his eyes wide and mouth gaped open.

     "Sort of. They aren't savages like those you see in movie. Werewolves are a different element than the Faoladh's."

      "I don't have to do anything for you," he snarled, sticking his chin up in protest.

     Jeramyah like his bravery and it was another reason he wanted him with the Faoladh's. "You don't have much of a choice. I could always call Farina, tell him to come get you. He'll be sure you are punished probably, with or without the King's orders." He knew he wouldn't last the trip back to America if he released Stephen in Farina's care.

     Stephen sat quietly, scrutinizing Jeramyah.

    "Now, I have a few questions. Shall I begin?" Jeramyah rose, walked around his desk and sat across from Stephen. He took his and and focused on his face.

     "Don't touch me," Stephen snarled, jerking his hand from Jeramyah grip.

     Jeramyah looked up at Temperus and she swiftly moved to sit next to Stephen. He jumped at her sudden movement and tried to move over. She grabbed his arm to keep him in place as she leaned over and put her lips to his ear, "I suggest you give your hand back, or I'll break it," she hissed, her sharp teeth brushing his ear.

     "Get your hands off me," he hissed back, moving his head away from her, but exposing his neck.

     Without warning, she swung him across the room over Jeramyah's head. He crashed into the bookshelf breaking the shelf and throwing books onto the floor.

     "Now, now, Temperus. I need him consciou," Jeramyah said calmly.

      Temperus huffed, walked over to Stephen, scooped him up by the arm and set him onto his feet. He was rubbing the back of his head and neck. She dragged him to the couch and tossed him, tilting the couch back a little. "Give him your hand," she snapped.

     He complied, holding out his shaky hand. Jeramyah took it and began interrogation. "You were in Louisiana six months ago?" 

     "What?" 

     "You heard him," Lee hissed. Jeramyah had almost forgotten Lee was even in the room, he'd been so quiet. Usually Lee didn't talk during an interrogation, he would just sit back and watch. Jeramyah probably thought he spoke now was only because he grew tired of Stephen's attitude.

     "Yeah, yeah...that sounds about right," Stephen stuttered. Why does it matter? 

     "It matters much. Are you still in contact with your friends here?" Jeramyah continued.

     "How did...?" Stephen stuttered again. How did he know what I was thinking?

     "I hear everything you're thinking," Jeramyah said, commenting on Stephen's thought.

    "But...," he started.

     "But I can read minds. Human minds." Jeramyah found no reason to hide it from him. He would be working with the Faoladh's and they were allies to his people.

      By telling Stephen everything important, such as his ability, would hopefully make him more cooperative. He hoped that if he was open then Stephen will feel his people were no longer a threat to him. He even considered helping Stephen find the newbie who attacked him to seek vengeance in return he help when the war, if there was one, began.

     "So? You know the answer then?" Stephen asked. Only this time he was calm and spoke with curiosity. 

      "I only know the answer if you're thinking it or voicing it. So answer the question either way." 

     "I was. I wasn't hunting though. I need a break so I took it. Someone gave me the money." Stupid widow thought I would actually fuck her when I got there.

     Jeramyah smirk, "Well, I guess it's not only us you are messing with. How'd you convince her?" He knew he was going off topic but he wanted to see Stephen's reaction.

     "Umm...," Stephen stuttered. Shit. This is for real. Ha. 

     "i thought so. In any case, are you still friends with anyone here, or have you spoken to anyone other than your father?" 

     "I don't talk to anyone anymore. I haven't heard from anyone of them since you guys came out of the closet."

     Jeramyah knew he was telling the truth so he moved forward, "Do you know Caitlín Kennedy?" 

     Stephen sat quietly then stuck out his lower lip and shook his head.

    Jeramyah nodded then asked, "Do you know of a fire occurring in Aurora?"

    Stephen remained quiet and still shook his head.

    Jeramyah was certain now that Stephen had no idea what he was talking about. At least now he didn't have to torture the lad. His mind was completely free of insults and accusations about everything. No images of anything come to Stephen's mind. The only thought he got was, "I wonder if it was the AMAS."

     "No. There are none here," Jeramyah answered.

     "I don't know if they would even consider coming here."

     "I'm certain none have reached this far. Most of the members have families."

     "Might be a possibility though. Just so you know." Stephen said, matter of fact.

     "What do you know?" 

     "They thought about expanding to other countries."

     Jeramyah couldn't understand why Stephen turned the tables. Why was he cooperating now? He thought maybe it could be that he was open about his abilities.

     "Why are you telling me now? Why are you all of a sudden cooperating?"

     Stephen looked at Jeramyah and without hesitating he said, "Because, I don't want to die. You have been open with me about your gift, and you seem to want to...I don't know. I just feel like I have too. You plan on throwing me to the wolves no matter what. I might as well die knowing I did something right."

    Jeramyah knew it was a true feeling. There were no hidden thoughts or motives. The poor lad thought he was going to die with the Faoladh's and he didn't want Stephen to think that. So he decided to play the helping card. "If you continue to do as I ask, I vow to help you find the newbie so you can seek your vengeance."

     Stephen's eyes grew wide, "Really?"

     "Aye! I vow it." 

     "I'll tell you whatever you want to know." Stephen said with so much enthusiasim Jeramyah could feel the energy rolling off him.

     "We are good for now. Temperus, take him over to Tomas." Jeramyah released Stephen's hand then walked back to the other side of his desk. 

     He gave instructions to Temperus and dismissed them, Stephen grinning from one ear to the other. Jeramyah still wasn't any closer to finding out about Caitlín's fire but he was pleased that Stephen would be joining him in the upcoming conflict.

     "Excuse me, sir," Lee said, clearing his throat, interrupting his thoughts.

     "Aye! Sorry, Lee."

     "Is there anything else you need from me?"

     Jeramyah looked at Lee and immediately thought about Caitlín. He had a visitor coming and she would be alone with him, which didn't settle well in his stomach. He felt this was a critical time and she would need someone he trusted with her. "Lee, I want you to keep yourself available. Tomorrow evening, someone will be arriving from Sweden. I have him staying with a dear friend of mine. She will be meeting him Friday evening. I would like for you to meet up them," he explained.

     "Yes, sir," Lee said with a puzzled expression.

     "She's delicate. To me, anyway." Jeramyah knew Lee would take care of her. He was a ruthless vampire when necessary but he had a heart of gold. He had a wonderful sense of human but knew with it was time to throttle someone, it would get done, no questions asked. He thought Caitlín would enjoy his company.

     Lee nodded in agreement.

     "Wonderful. Xavier had a few donors in the castle this evening, I'll have him send someone up for you."

     "That won't be necessary. I had a few bottles before we got here."

     He'd forgotten Lee didn't usually drink from the vein, which was beneficial because neither did Caitlín. "Very well. Good evening to you," he said in a dismissive tone.

     "Same to you, sir." Lee left the room, closing the door behind him.

     Jeramyah sat shuffling though paperwork. There were a few more newbie's and he had to process the documents. Newbie's were younglings, created within a year. Once they were turned, they had to register with one country government, it was essential the ruler inform other rulers. This helped keep track of the growing population of all mythical creatures.

     After completing some of those, he came across the letter from the Queen. he remembered he needed to Caitlín regarding the new visitor. He looked at his watch and decided to call her, picking up the phone and dialing. 

     

     

 

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Rhonda9080 avatar Random Review

October 02, 2009

Rhonda9080

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Rhonda9080 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I love the first page, opening puts us right into our VP’s head.
Little nitpicky, stupid thing: I would hyphenate “no good” no-good… no biggie

Page 1:
I very much like it so far. I am already immersed in the story. Its flowing right along…
went mad and murder(ed)
Page 2:
want(ed) the orphanage (don’t worry, I leave out whole words)
This is flowing, reading well so far…
Donor’s… Donors
So donors/hos I like the way you make it fresh by calling it “donor”. It also has such an impersonal ring to it. Of course, I don’t yet know what their “needs” are. But I presume, sex and blood? Intrigued to find out!
Page 3:
I’m into the story… Good, strong and interesting character, this Jeramyah… He’s got me hooked.
Page 4:
Excellent! Jaramyah is a very sexy vampire king! Good work!
*One thing: is it possible to throw in just a little more description here and there on him? A little imagery with him would make this rock.
Page 5:
Good: everything inside him screamed for her. Paints us a picture of his strong “needs”
he love(d) how soft (just FYI, I make a lot more typos—especially rough draft) trust me…)
Oh boy! Good, sexy, sex… Good stuff, well done!
Page 6:
Oh damn it! Coitus Interruptus! Well hell, but it was well-done!
Page 7:
“I vow to make it up to you my love.” I will read more, because I don’t want to miss that…
read(y) to take her… Good sentence by the way. (I hate these kind of typos because the spell check won’t catch them)
“Her warm blood” paragraph rocks! Very erotic! Very well written!
Page 8:
You are hitting your stride now on these pages. The first pages were good, but a little wooden. Your writing is getting more vivid and less self-conscious by pages 6-8. Damn, sex scenes will do that for you!
Page 9:
Good, smooth, flowing along.
Page 10:
Good start to the interrogation… Jaramyah/Temperus are not pissing around. Good stuff! I hate it when characters like these are unrealistically “nice” when they’re suppose to be bad-asses, authority figures, hit men, Vampire kings, etc. Jaramyah is not gratuitously cruel, but he’s not unrealistically nice either. (we know he’s decent and kind to his favorite “donor”
Great work!
Page 11:
Okay, so Stephen is also a VP character… Good dialogue… it works.
Page 11-15:
I sense some good foreshadowing here about Caitlin… and Jaramyah… Maybe? As a reader, I am now hooked because I want to see sexy Jaramyah interact with Caitlin
One thing: I would like to get a few deeper thoughts here on Jaramyah’s impressions of Caitlin, besides just “her fire”. I  see the “she’s delicate” but I really want to hear his thoughts a little more about what he means by that.
Page 16, 17:
Missing word: he remembered he needed (?) to Caitlín regarding
Good way to end the chapter! We are left wanting to see more Caitlin/Jaramyah interaction, and this is just what you tease us with.
I like it—very much! I’m going to move on to the next chapters.
I have no complaints. My only suggestion would be the above, as well as a bit more vividness in the writing of the first few pages. Its still good, but could be outstanding (like the middle and end—they are fabulous!) In the beginning 2 pages, give us just a bit more imagery, strong verbs, etc. (nothing florid of course, but your writing is not at all florid. Its very subtle and concise. I like that!
*
Overall: Awesome girl! I think you have a great book going here!
I want to read more…

slbynum3 avatar General Stranger

September 29, 2009

slbynum3

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
slbynum3 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This wasn’t bad. I was hoping there’d be more excitement in the story by now, but maybe you’re getting to that.

Why did you change the name of the characters? The name switching confused me. Are you trying to use names that are less common?

I don’t think you need that background part about Blade and Stephen O’Mieles. If it is needed, maybe you could put in in a conversation between two people because to me it’s somewhat tedious and disrupts the flow of the story.

“read the new” news not new

“you see in movie” movies not movie

“He took his and and” you mean ‘hand and’?

“he needed to Caitlín” word is missing here

Keep writing!

Hoffmane21 avatar General Stranger

September 28, 2009

Hoffmane21

personal info reviewer stats
Hoffmane21 reviewed Version 1 - Read 81% of the Item

murder her when he was sixteen. -murdered

specifically want the orphanage -wanted

The backstory on the boy and his mother and the orphange is a bit confusing. Maybe sow us with him mentioning things instead of telling us everything. So, if I have this straight, the fisrt man who was thought to have no heirs got a wmoan pregnant, she was kicked out of ireland and the murdered by the son she had when he turned 16. Then HE got another woman pregnant and that son of his was adopted? Is Stephen the one that got adopted, or the one the doens’t know about the boy in the orphange?

always watched or read the new -news

knowing was was happening -what was

Yseult, pronounced ‘ee-solt’ was -I would take out the “pronounced” part. If you are worried about pronounciation, make a glossary =-P Putting that in there interrupts the story.

him consciou,” Jeramyah -conscious

Ok I am sorry I cannot finish right now. I am on 13 of 16 and I promise I will finish my review in comment form. If that is ok with you. Tomorrow!

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