Poetry / Pessimism

Awesome.

haha, well it’s sober, but cleverly worded. I don’t go in for brevity, personally. I would change it to The whirling gyre of oblivious watts. That sounds like life, just a buzz and a circular course, then you burn out.

Though it clearly describes pessism, it’s a cliche. I know the Six-Word Memoirs, and it is likely to be chosen, I believe, but in a literary sense, you used a very cliche phrase. I think that the idea is great, but changing the words or creating a more original metaphor to fit the theme of pessimism would be far better than using a frequent phrase.

Everyone has heard that the glass is half-full or half-empty. Why use the glass as a metaphor? What else can be viewed in a pessimistic/optimistic way?

Examples: Sunsets vs. sunrise/dawn vs. dusk. Both look similar, and if you had no idea what time it was, what area would you believe, as a pessimist, that you were entering? Most likely, you would think sunset/dusk, entering the dark.

There are plenty of other examples, but using a cliche is just not the best way to put it. Original contrasts are much more likely to bring meaning and creativity into poetry.

This is the most common idiom used to describe pessimism. It is nothing original and nothing profound. Is not the point of these 6 word memoirs to come up with something new and innovative?

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September 07, 2009

by Nosferatu_Networker

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thankyou for your honesty

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