Lyrics / Early Morning Blues.
Verse 1
Wake up,
put on you clothes
shut the door and slip out.
She would
ask you to stay.
It would be such an awkward moment to catch me sneaking out now.
I've been there,
and she asked me to stay.
And I knew right away when we met that we were not meant to be.
You drank the wine; fine.
I didn't feed you many words to have you.
You played along
much better,
hope you didn't see promise.
Chorus
It's numbing me inside to have to hurt you,
I keep a distant step from love's virtue.
Once upon a time I could love all that you do.
And all I really want from you is to feel me,
share a laugh and take in my body.
I will sneak away early morning, early morning.
Verse 2
How long
can I go on like this,
hoping to wake you.
Stop me,
and hold me close.
My frightened heart tells me to love you
but as well as to leave you.
If I get caught, I could be risking it all.
Maybe your the risk that I should of taken all along.
Chorus
It's numbing me inside to have to hurt you,
I keep a distant step from love's virtue.
Once upon a time I could love all that you do.
And all I really want from you is to feel me,
share a laugh and take in my body.
I will sneak away early morning, early morning.
Bridge
For me not to go
would be like a scary movie without an end,
But maybe you would be the one to stay and hold my hand.
I'm standing at the corner of your street maybe I can slip in.
Chorus & Outro
It's numbing me inside to have to hurt you,
I keep a distant step from love's virtue.
Once upon a time I could love all that you do.
And all I really want from you is to feel me,
share a laugh and take in my body.
I will sneak away early morning, early morning.
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Not that I’m a big lyric writer; I just started, but doesn’t the Bridge usually come before the chorus in each instance? That’s what I thought I heard from reading most songs. I like lyrics in a way that you don’t have to be a Mrs. Grundy (grammar snob) and can freely express yourself.
I think this is a good song, better than mine, I’m sure. I’ve listened to many years of songs and studied the themes in each instance. Each lyricist writes their words in a way that makes sense to them. Your lyrics are pretty standard for a love song.
I know I’m probably not helping; I’ve not been that great a critic of any kind of writing, esp. how a critic should critique something. If you don’t feel this is a good critique, you’re welcome to refund the credits.
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Great style and flow, I could hear it being sung in my head as I read. It has a great flow about it, good word selection and a feeling of true heart behind it, really a great job.
I like the feeling of this, but it could use some editing. The 1st paragraph drags a bit, and has a spelling error (you should be your.) It gets better as it goes along. Perhaps edit or tweak the 1st verse to grab attention, so ppl will want to keep reading! Nice melancholy feelings of longing.
There was one typo, “put on your clothes” you wrote “put on you clothes”
I enjoyed the tension between longing to leave and what you truly desired. It brings to mind the confusion with leaving someone you shared something with.
One question, what is the tempo of the song? Is it upbeat? Or slow and somber?
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